i would feel so much better if my parents and family weren’t so homophobic ugh. i’m SO afraid of lesbian, mainly because of the things i would have to go through after coming out. this isn’t supposed to be reassurance but, do people usually have an OCD theme and primarily fear the outcome of a situation?? for example, the possibility of me being lesbian doesn’t scare me (it does make me uncomfortable though, given that i’ve been attracted to guys my whole life), it’s the fact that if i were lesbian, my family would probably not support me or ever look at me the same again. does that make sense??

Stop all of this praking, coming out stories, etc. All of those are compulsions! They are feeding the obsession big time. --- People genuinely attracted to the same gender are not wandering in OCD forums. You are obsessed about this because of your own values and upbringing. You have a hyperactive amygdala watching out for danger where there is none. You guys need an OCD specialist.

Yes. At least in my situation im afraid that if I were lesbian I’d have to leave my boyfriend and come out and all that. I don’t want to do that. I want to be happy with my boyfriend and I am but when I’m away from him the thoughts get stronger.

I don’t know your situation but the majority of my anxiety if not all comes from me not wanting to be lesbian, this is also what I have heard from most other people with HOCD. But maybe that’s just because your less homophobic than me¿ idk

@hocdgirlsummer yea i totally get what you’re saying. i actually did hear that before! i was laying in bed a few mins before you commented and i just kept thinking, “people say that the difference between HOCD and being gay is that when you’re gay, the thing u fear is coming out. I’M afraid of being lesbian and coming out, that must mean i’m gay”. i just keep repeating that over and over again UGH. i just don’t know what to do anymore.

yea for sure. i don’t even know why i’m freaking out so much; i’m reacting to this as if i’m actually lesbian and preparing to come out to my family. i feel like i’m in the closet, even the the closet doesn’t even exist for me haha. thanks so much, you too !

I agree with Fernando. It’s not normal to think about your sexuality during every waking moment, no matter how confused you are.

You know, I THINK my family wouldn't support me, but in reality they probably would. It might we the same in your situation. I have an idea, maybe try pranking 1 or a couple of your family member by saying your lesbian. Just say hey guess what I'm lesbian. See what their reaction is. Then afterword you could say just kidding. You could even open up a little bit about having OCD about it, or u could leave at just kidding. It would be pretty brave to do that but it might be worth a shot.

a while ago i was talking to my mom about how a person we know came out and i said something along the lines of, “i had never even thought about being lesbian but then one day i just thought, ‘could i be lesbian?’ and then started to repeatedly ask myself that”. she responded with, “wait, you don’t actually think you’re lesbian right?” and then i of course said no. i know they would still love me but that’s just because i’m their daughter/sister/cousin/niece/etc. i’ve obviously known them my whole life and just from hearing what they say and how they react to other people being gay, I have a feeling that they really wouldn’t support me. at all. i come from a very christian house and a very faith driven family so if i were to be lesbian, it would destroy everyone.

Ive read some ppl saying that the difference between hocd and acc being gay is dat when ur acc gay the anxiety u get is from the social acceptance. Snd when ur hocd u get anxiety becaus eu dont know if u want ro be with a girl Or boy. I dont know if that triggered u if so im sorry but personally i think that you can also have hocd and can be scared of the social acceptance. Because i ger from both things anxiety too. Like i really wanna be with boys again thats the major part i get anxiety about like i wanna be with boys but ims cared i will never be sble to. And then when i think further like having to tell my fam i aslo get anxiety becasue theyre nit accepting too. But like mostly i dont even go there because i somewhere know that this is bullshit. I totally think its normal to also stress bout that if ur hocd especially when ur fam is nit accepting.

Also coming out gives me anxiety becasue people are gonna be like: w t f bc ive always been boy crazy and always wnated a husband sonlittersly people would be s h o c k e d as hell. But yeah i think its normal to get anxiety from itnsnd still have hocd

I hear you, I come from a Christian home to. And they say homophobic things sometimes also. But love and support go hand in hand. If you mean they may not want to be as close to you as before, then yea some of them might. But you can't let that stop you from being who you are, right? You'll always have their love and that's really all you need. But as far as agreeing with who you are, would you really want to change that just to have their approval? You might as well asking them EVERYTHING else that you need to change in order to get their approval, which means you might have to change alot. You see what I mean?

Sorry got a little to involved lol it's just my opinion, that's all it is

@farhadi28 you’re so right. it’s all very hard because i love my family so much and they’re by far the biggest blessing in my life and if i were to ruin our relationship, it would crush me. i just wish that they could be more supportive of this kind of stuff. but then again even if they were, I probably would have HOCD. i tend to create these things in my mind and say “oh yea my HOCD would be A LOT better if _____”. but in reality, would it be that much better? probably not. for example, i while ago i thought, “my HOCD would be so much better if I had a boyfriend or have ever had a boyfriend because then i’d know for sure that i am able to be with a man”. but then i realized that even if i did have a boyfriend, it probably wouldn’t make my HOCD any better. i was just making up something in my head. but anyway, ur completely right. i don’t need their approval on everything i do, but it would hurt me so badly knowing that I would ruin the close knit relationship we have. it just wouldn’t be the same :/

I know it's hard, I feel the same way about my family to. But I really believe they would warm back up to you after the initial shock wore off. For some of them it might even take a year or 2 but they would come around. That's the way a loving family is and should be. I hope everything works out for you.

@sophiaa yes girl i wouldnt take it all too seriously. If u never felt the closer before than its a fake one right now and no need to “plan” ur coming out. Imagine coming out and ur family is all shocked just for u to come around in a year or two saying: lol it was a mindgame. Hahaha

Well my friend, thats hocd. We cant stop it