I was just watching tv and I saw a character and I was like "I wish I was straight as him" and I was like "that's a though only someone in denial about not being straight would have" and to he honest it does seem like I just don't wanna accept the truth
I get these thoughts. They feel like jealousy. I wish I was as straight as them, as confident in my sexuality, etc.
Yeah, like that
@Perzibal It’s just a thought. Thoughts aren’t truth. They are like wind passing through your mind. You can notice it, say “huh that was weird”, and let it pass. Easier said than done, but helps me to think that way.
@justgottaknow It doesnt feel like a though, feels like a gut feeling
@Perzibal A gut feeling is just a thought you’re adding meaning to/interpreting as meaningful
@Perzibal Gut feeling can't be trusted with OCD unlike non OCD people
@jdd so true, it's especially difficult when you used to rely on that "gut feeling" for decisions. now it's not to be trusted
@justgottaknow I get this too
If you’re not confident in your sexuality, that is completely different topic then ocd. Ocd is like when it comes out of no where and you get extremely obsessive thoughts that don’t leave your track of thoughts and cause anxiety and stress that you don’t know how to manage.
@Anonymous I wouldn’t agree with this for OCD purposes because most of us have a really hard time distinguishing between what is “real” and what is an OCD thought… that’s part of why it’s so terrifying
@Anonymous Same mine csme outta nowhere after indentifying straight all my life. Scared I’m bisexual and very confused with my attraction. Sometimes I don’t even get anxiety but I constantly think about it 24/7 obsessively so that’s how I know it’s OCD gaslighting me.
@Anonymous Yeah I have that
That's how it was when it started, all day long, no stop, but now it's this way, I get then from time to time
That’s the whole point though you just called yourself not straight. That’s what I’m trying to say. If you knew even with 100% certainty that you were straight even with ocd, you would not doubt yourself. I promise you with all my heart, even with all the confusion and horrible thoughts, never fold and give yourself negative things to think about. I understand, yes, ocd gives you these horrible thoughts but what I’m saying be more positive about yourself
What? So someone with the doubting desease would never doubt themselves?
@Perzibal Man this whole thing just keeps going. Im saying to be positive with yourself. Even with the thoughts. Everyone on this app has said 2-3 similar things about ocd, that the thoughts are lying to you and making you fear that you are something that is against your morals and the way of life that you live. Im trying to be motivating and positive. I always want the best for everyone to know overcome any problem they’re dealing with. I was just trying to understand.
@Anonymous Unfortunately, you aren’t talking about this in a way that makes sense with OCD and it could even create more fear for people. Everyone on here doubts their thoughts, and is fearful that they don’t understand something very core to who they are. When you say something like “you would not doubt yourself” or “ if you’re not confident in your sexuality, that is a completely different topic then OCD” you could be creating some serious terror in peoples OCD brains. The problem with sexuality is that there isn’t a finite “answer,” so speaking in absolute terms, like you are, is really not helpful. I understand you’re trying to be, which is why I’m trying to explain so that you can learn. there are other ways to show support and encourage positivity.
@justgottaknow Thank you for calling me out and explaining to me, that what I said was inconsiderate. Apologies for that.
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
it feels like i accepted being gay and thats part of who i am but i still feel that tension and fake attraction whenever i see a man and i feel like i could be able to have a sexual intercourse with a man even though i dont want it is it still hocd or just denial? like i am feeling okey but there is still that doubt that how can i know that im not gay if i dont get disgusted by gay things or gay personality traits and at the same time i want to feel normal again like before
Im a straight man and sometimes I make the mistake of compulsively getting on here. It’s gotten better but I slip sometimes. I feel like I’m alone in this and I even read on some OCD page that Women are more likely to suffer from this theme than Men. That just makes me feel like I’m in denial of some sort. I feel alone and feel like my intrusive thoughts are different. I know that’s what everyone who has ocd thinks, but I can’t help shake the feeling like what if I’m lying to myself or what if I have some underlying secret. I don’t want to be gay. I find I argue with myself in my head over and over and sometimes by repeating “I don’t want to be gay, I want to be straight” I’ll end up saying the opposite and that would scare me even though I know that It happened because I’m constantly fighting with OCD. Just feeling a bit down today. I had a sexual dream about an ex girlfriend and it felt great and I’m not scared by it. I find and want to be with Women romantically til forever.
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