I keep obsessing that my boyfriend is disappointed in me / annoyed for a situation that happened and I keep asking for reassurance which he keeps providing. I know I shouldn’t ask as the ocd wants that, and it’s going in circles. Does anyone have any advice on what to do to get over the discomfort ? My ocd literally anytime there is an awkward moment or argument gives me the thought see things are ruined you ruined them and now they’ll never ever be the same. But my partner moves on quickly and says it was no big deal. Sitting with the anxiety and doing nothing isn’t working , I keep giving into reassurance seeking....I have tried distract skills like tv , internet , music, but then without fail by the end of the day it’s back on my mind. Ugh ?

Relationship OCD

Username: nbr98nbr98

Date posted: 5y ago

Maybe you could tell him about it and ask not to give you reassurance when you ask for it..?

Username: ciphersevencipherseven

Date posted: 5y ago

I get similar, I get a lot of OCD thoughts about my relationship. I can't promise it'll work but I stopped asking for reassurance in order to break that cycle, and I find it eventually makes it easier

Username: FinchFinch

Date posted: 5y ago

I’ve been having VERY similar issues, and still haven’t managed to cut off reassurance all together (I am getting better at recognizing what’s valid reassurance to seek in a relationship, and what’s compulsive reassurance seeking). That being said, as a compromise until I can get over the compulsion all together, my partner and I have established a routine where, if I can’t get past an obsessive thought, and it’s trending toward a panic attack (I DO attempt to sit w/ the obsession until that point), I squeeze their hand (to ask “are we ok”), and receive a squeeze back (signalling “we ARE ok”). I know there might be those on this site who disagree w/ this arrangement, but its a lot less time consuming, and still requires me to move past an obsessive thought w/out excessive reassurance. I consider it a stepping stone as I work toward ignoring the compulsions 100%.

Username: FinchFinch

Date posted: 5y ago

This stuff is hard, and I’m wishing all the best!

Username: lissylissy

Date posted: 5y ago

Thank you for all your responses ❤️ I’ve been nervous to post on this app, but this really made me feel like I’m not alone in this. I have mentioned to him not to reassure me and to ask if this might be an OCD thought but I only said that once so still a system we need to get used to but I will reiterate that to him. I did like the hand squeeze suggestion but sadly it’s long distance at the moment (different time zone too) so no way that’s possible, probably what’s making the OCd of disappointment worse ... anyway I will tell him not to reassure me

Username: ocddreams

Date posted: 6y ago

Can someone explain to me why reassurance is bad for OCD?? I often have overwhelming anxiety that my boyfriend is upset with me. So I will sometimes ask him if we’re good. Even though nothing has happened to suggest anything is wrong. He knows I have terrible anxiety so he never makes me feel bad for asking. And as soon as I’ve asked I feel better.

Username: sams07

Date posted: 5y ago

Advice please! I have OCD, and it’s wormed it’s way to my relationship. It particularly revolves around social media, trust and the security of being together “forever”. I whole heartedly trust my partner. However, we all know that OCD causes doubt in the most rational things. Lately, if I get an irrational thought, I ask my partner if it’s true or not true, I get the affirmation I need, and then I feel intense guilt. The cycle begins again because I feel insecure for asking such questions, How do I work through these nagging thoughts and not bring my boyfriend into it? I get super impulsive and just ask him to reassure me. When I don’t ask him and challenge the thought, I’m really moody with him. I’ve had OCD my entire life and have “cured” other obsessions/rituals but for some reason, this one is tough, since another person is involved. Any advice?!

Relationship OCD

Username: sams07

Date posted: 5y ago

People who have experienced ROCD- I had a rough day yesterday with my boyfriend due to acting on some compulsions. My compulsion is to seek reassurance. It was just not a good night because he was getting impatient, I was getting sensitive.. just not good. Anyway, we’re good now, but I just feel uneasy. My OCD always continues because after I complete a compulsion, I feel guilty and then I get more irrational thoughts that my boyfriend will leave me... thus I seek more reassurance. How do I get out of this insecure space in my head WITHOUT seeking reassurance again? Does this last a long time?

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