- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Maybe you could tell him about it and ask not to give you reassurance when you ask for it..?
- Date posted
- 5y
I get similar, I get a lot of OCD thoughts about my relationship. I can't promise it'll work but I stopped asking for reassurance in order to break that cycle, and I find it eventually makes it easier
- Date posted
- 5y
I’ve been having VERY similar issues, and still haven’t managed to cut off reassurance all together (I am getting better at recognizing what’s valid reassurance to seek in a relationship, and what’s compulsive reassurance seeking). That being said, as a compromise until I can get over the compulsion all together, my partner and I have established a routine where, if I can’t get past an obsessive thought, and it’s trending toward a panic attack (I DO attempt to sit w/ the obsession until that point), I squeeze their hand (to ask “are we ok”), and receive a squeeze back (signalling “we ARE ok”). I know there might be those on this site who disagree w/ this arrangement, but its a lot less time consuming, and still requires me to move past an obsessive thought w/out excessive reassurance. I consider it a stepping stone as I work toward ignoring the compulsions 100%.
- Date posted
- 5y
This stuff is hard, and I’m wishing all the best!
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you for all your responses ❤️ I’ve been nervous to post on this app, but this really made me feel like I’m not alone in this. I have mentioned to him not to reassure me and to ask if this might be an OCD thought but I only said that once so still a system we need to get used to but I will reiterate that to him. I did like the hand squeeze suggestion but sadly it’s long distance at the moment (different time zone too) so no way that’s possible, probably what’s making the OCd of disappointment worse ... anyway I will tell him not to reassure me
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
- Date posted
- 14w
hi! i often fear im going to lose my job because i made a “mistake” (not really) that my manager caught and is waiting to tell me about or i fear im going to be kicked off the roster of a team im on for small mistakes that everyone makes. this often compels me to ask those people if i did good or not and gauge their reactions to see if theyre going to remove me and i fall into a cycle of asking and asking. how do you guys deal with these feelings / compulsions? when im flaring i often just spend as much time around these people as possible to gather “evidence” of their opinion on me, but then i get nervous that they hate me for being clingy. i also abandon other duties / tasks so i can spend time with these people to make sure they like me. what do you guys do? anyone else experience the sentiment?
- Date posted
- 13w
So i had really bad pure ocd but recently it’s been sooo much better but i’m in a relationship and me and my bf dated before about 2 years ago then we broke up and now we are back together but i’m having an issue where i will try to go back years and find something i did wrong and i really do not want to find anything to feel wrong about or guilty specifically something i may have done wrong to my boyfriend but the thing is i’m a good girlfriend and i’m very loyal so i don’t want to ruin something for me because of my past if that makes sense like i can’t remember doing anything wrong but my brain keeps going are u sure let’s look at all your interactions with people and it’s so annoying i just wanna live my life in the present does anyone have any tips
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