Getting back but at what cost??

I am in the same boat. I really like this girl i’m talking to, and my OCD makes me scared and makes me think what if I end up dating her and realize I don’t like women. It’s super annoying and i’m tired

Being able to distinguish fear creeping in is where all the strength comes from

The best thing I can say for you is allow those thoughts of ocd and fear just wither away. Almost allow yourself to feel no emotion towards the unwanted feels and thoughts. Someone told me earlier that your thoughts and fears are connected to your feeling s and false attractions. Like they were saying. Ocd will attack every fear you have against you even no sexual things. Like looking at a guy for too long or talking to a guy or realizing you see a guy as good looking that stuff we bottle up and worry about people noticing is completely normal. That’s what is so wrong and cruel with OCD. It take those little normal thoughts, bundles it around and tricks you into thinking there is more beyond that. It will make you obsess over the though and then put you down emotionally and make you depressed. I hope non of this is triggering at all. A therapist who specializes in hocd gave me info on how this ocd obsession is based off the things you would not normally do before your ocd started to attack. 2 months ago I was in the beautiful relationship with a girl I was In love with. She broke up with me and said that she still loved me. She said that I was too good for her and that we would find each other again. I was in so much shock from her breaking up with me to the point where I was almost frozen. My emotions were shut off. I was almost stuck in a forever depression that lasted 3-4 days. I didn’t even know how to cry or anything. And the worst part is I felt like I didn’t care after the fact of it happening. They were right I went through a moment of trauma. All the realization that all of us are going through with this hocd process is based off of fear. Your fear will make you think those emotions and feeling are good until your desires and morals correct you for realizing that, that is not who you are. Trust me on this one. Do you remember when you were in middle school or high school and you would know that a dude was attractive but you weren’t attracted to. That’s exactly what this illness is Doing. It’s turning those little thoughts into obsessions. And do you remember when you got the feeling around a girl that gave you butterflies or a tingle feeling. Or even just when you kissed a girl you would immediately be turned on just by kissing her. Im telling you this is all a mind game. Trick your mind into thinking it doesn’t matter. My emotions and feelings have been spot on with realizing fake attraction even if your so numb to the point where you don’t care what you feel. I’ve been getting so much better and I’ve never had a therapy session or talked with anyone about this. The point is. The issue will make you think you’re hiding something when you are not. It will try to convince of any fear that comes your way. Although I am not a therapist and I have no valid information. I’ve been taking in much knowledge and information about this and used if for the better. Like connecting one dot to another. I want only the best for everyone in this app to realize you don’t have to be afraid of this, but make this time you can get back at your ocd for taking over your mind and give your ocd ocd. I’ve learned to trick my mind into thinking is can’t make me obsess because it doesn’t know what to obsess about. Im allowing my mind to have no fears because I’m tricking my ocd to think I have no fears at all. I hope with my all my heart and good deeds that this will allow to realize that you will fight this and you will get through this. This journey that we’re all on is also a learning experience to understand how the human brain works. That’s why I truly believe and know everyone of us will conquer our issue of getting our lives back and truly being happy. Instead of fighting yourself in your thoughts, put up a brick wall in your mind so the ocd gets confused. It’s like a bully, if you ignore it or move in with your life, they have no fuel. And then you end up confusing them. You will conquer and remove this illness from yourselves. God bless you and stay safe.