Hi everyone! I just wanted to share about what’s happening to me recently and see if anyone has any advice on how to cope. I have HOCD and I’ve been fine for about a month, but now I’m worried that I may have a crush on my best friend. We were texting about stuff and then we were talking about body image because we’re both in theatre so “the look” is part of it. She then was saying how I have a sexy body and stuff like that (she’s straight) and it caused me to have a relapse. Now I’m worried that I have a crush on her and I really don’t want to lose her friendship. Does anyone have any advice on how to cope and get through this?

Don’t worry we all go through this with HOCD and start thinking the same thing about our friends

I know trust me. My ocd I feel like has started to morph my brain so much and it has just made me have a completely different mind set than I have ever had. It truly sucks but dw you’re not alone

And the funny thing is, even when I try to be like “I’m going to accept that I’m bi.” I always end up thinking “But I’m not going to date any girls or anything like that. I’m still only going to be with men.”

Thank you! I know that the rational part of my brain is saying “You’re straight silly” but it’s difficult

Exactly! Now I get so concerned if I get excited when she texts me or snaps me like “That means you like her!” When in reality I’m probably just excited because she’s my best friend

This has provided so much clarity for my own situation. It really has spun normal things that everyone experiences with their friends and spins it out of control completely.

And in the midst of all of that anxiety, I’ve never really desired anything outside of friendship with her or my other friends

I feel the same way! I think part of it is that I didn’t have a lot of friends in high school, so I’m very thankful for her friendship. But because I haven’t a lot of experience with friendship my HOCD spins it to mean that I actually have a crush on her

I’m just a very emotional person so I kinda feel deeply for my close friends. Sometimes, I like to call it a “friend/platonic crush” because I admire them, but not in that type of way.

Yes a friend crush! And the thing is my best friend talks about those all the time and I’m like “Cool.” But when it’s me I automatically think “Nope it’s romantic feelings.”

Did you just describe me? ?

I don’t really have any advice but to just move forward with the friendship. Continue being her friend because ultimately, that’s all you want. Even when those thoughts about it being something more come across, Don’t entertain or analyze them, and ask yourself this: Does the thought of being romantically intimate with them bring you joy? If it doesn’t, then that means that those thoughts were ONLY thoughts and that’s what OCD does to make it feel “real.”

Thank you so much! It’s a struggle everyday, but hearing that I’m not alone and not crazy is great. I think it will be better when I get back to school and I see all my friends in person. I just have to remember that just because I have thoughts doesn’t mean that I have to act on them or that they are true!

Especially the fact that you never felt like that before HOCD. I always loved my best friend cause we had so much in common and had the same style so ofc we were besties and we would go on double dates when we had boyfriends and stuff. Never once did I have a crush on her, she was simply just my best friend. But then once I got HOCD I eventually started thinking “omg what if I have a crush on her”

Me too! My best friend is the type of person who gives lot’s of compliments and jokes around a lot and says “Let’s go on a date!” And I’ve always been fine because I know that she’s just kidding. And this year she helped me through a tough time with a boy. But now my HOCD makes me forget all the stuff about the boy and only focus on “You like her now!”

See we’re not alone!

Do you have any advice for moving forward with my friendship?