ElevenB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Feel abandoned by God

I've had OCD since I was a child (I am 56 now) but only found out in past year or so and that it is Scrupulosity. My whole christian life has been about performance so God would stay. I started doing ERP 2 weeks ago, and though my anxiety is down some the thought that God has left me just pounds in my head. I'm not exactly sure how ERP works, it's so new to me. But does anxiety go down and eventually thoughts follow? Everyone that I've talked to says that has Scrupulosity and does ERP says their relationship with God is so much better. know 2 weeks of ERP isn't a long time to see results I don't guess.

Religion & Spirituality OCD

Theocdguitarist

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I'm feeling this same way. My scrupulosity flared up when I started dating my girlfriend 3 months ago. My OCD tells me that God doesn't want me to be with her, so when I'm with her sometimes it feels like God is gone or is mad at me. it's very hard

ElevenB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Do you listen to Mark DeJesus? He has Scrupulosity OCD and battled relational OCD pretty bad. He has video on YouTube about it.

hen7

Date posted: 2y

ERP will eventually give you much freedom. It’s all about exposing yourself to what you find scary. So it’s no wonder you get these intrusive thoughts. In this case you’re having intrusive thoughts about God leaving you. I won’t reassure you because many people probably have tried. But when I was dealing with scrupulosity in the past, what really helped me was that a friend told me “so you think God will leave you when you’re struggling or doing something wrong? Why would you even want to serve such a god?” - She completely exposed what my ocd was lying to me about when it comes to God’s character. I then later surrendered myself to thinking “if God wants me, He will make sure I get saved.” Eventually I got back to the truth that Jesus’ sacrifice is indeed enough and God’s approval is not dependend on my performance at all but on Jesus and the fact that God loves me and has called me. I never had any influence on that at all. (Something ocd doesn’t like, as it wants control) It’s all God who’s doing the work in you. 2 weeks is indeed very short for ERP. But it’s great that you started! (So sorry to hear you got your diagnosis so late) Keep going and trust the therapist. Follow their instructions and trust the process. ❤️

ElevenB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Thank you for the encouragement. It is greatly appreciated.

ElevenB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Yes we are!! I believe all things happen for a reason so I'm glad you found some relief from my post. I wish you all the best too.

anthonycaronna

Date posted: 2y

God will never ever abandon his children. He loves you too much for him to do that. He loves you and cares for you more than you could ever imagine

ElevenB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Thank you!!

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

OhMGoodness This same thing happens to me all the time. Its hard for me and my relationship with my boyfriend because I feel bad for having these thoughts

ElevenB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I'm sorry it happens to you too. It definitely can interfere with relationships and daily life. I know in my heart that God does not leave us but the feelings are so hard to ignore.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Seeing your post was a relief. I thought I was crazy. I’m just discovering more information about OCD and so far it has been relieving to know that I’m not alone and can also get help for it. I’m wishing you all the best. We are gonna beat this!!

ElevenB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

And Mark Dejesus and Jaimie Eckert are great to follow for scrupulosity OCD. Jaimie is about to go on maternity leave but her website Scrupulosity Solutions has a lot of videos and blogs on it. Mark is on YouTube.

ElevenB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Psalm 31:7 NLT “I will be glad and rejoice in Your unfailing love, for You have seen my troubles, and You care about the anguish of my soul. ”

Cammy123

Date posted: 18w

Religious OCD

So about 2 years ago I gave my life to Jesus. I've always been a "Christian" but never truly lived liked one. Honestly never truly felt love for them until 2 years ago. It was the best couple months of my life!!! I felt so happy and loved and unstoppable! I thought this fire for God & Jesus will never burn out. One day I had a thought about is God real? It bothered me so bad and I went into a massive spiral. Doubting everything. My faith. if I was good enough. Am I really saved? Do I have enough faith? Is my doubt real? Is it too much? Have these blasphemous made God not want me anymore? Or Jesus? :( But I knew I was and that they were real! I know I've heard them. Then I started having horrible blasphemous thoughts but then it would go back to doubting thoughts then back to the blasphemous ones. I hated the thoughts and doubts. The thoughts are so mean towards God, Jesus & HS. It’s anywhere from evil thoughts to cussing thoughts to rejection thoughts/denying. Demonic thoughts. Literally anything bad you could think of! Even thoughts of if I really love them or wanna follow them. I learned about OCD from what I've looked up but I've been dealing with this for about 2 years now. It's hard. I doubt if it’s OCD. Definitely feel like I'm trapped or my faith isn't the same. Which makes me sad because I want my faith! I feel like I've gotten lazy and honestly that I don't deserve them or am "too far gone" from them. I feel like idk how to be a Christian or how to have faith or just exist tbh. I wanna love God & Jesus! I want faith! I just feel kinda stuck. Has anyone gone through this or has advice or tips?

Religion & Spirituality OCD

berrybrynn

Date posted: 14w

I am a Christian and I went through religious OCD and I felt like I blasphemy the Holy Spirit

so my dad is Jewish and my mom is Christian. I used to go to Hebrew school when I was younger, but recently I started going to church and becoming a Christian and turning to Jesus and when I recently got diagnosed with OCD a couple months ago I had really really bad religious OCD. I had very disrespectful thoughts about Jesusand God, but mainly Jesus. and I had very disturbing thoughts about Jesus that made me avoid a lot of things, but I know that’s making the OCD worse. I’m doing erp currently my religious OCD has honestly gone away. I’ve dealt with it. I am managing it but ever since I’ve had religious OCD and had disturbing and disrespectful thoughts about God in Jesus mainly Jesus, I’ve felt a awkward distance between me, God and Jesus and it just feels like I’m going to hell and they don’t love me anymore and I haven’t felt the same presence from God ever since I’ve had religious OCD and I’ve had some situations that I felt like I blasphemy the Holy Spirit and I committed blasphemy and I just feel like God really doesn’t love me anymore and I’m done for i’ve kind of been numb to it so it’s not really bothering me, but I want a better relationship with God and Jesus it just feels like they don’t love me anymore. Has anyone else gone through this? and I’ve had situations where I felt like I was very disrespectful and mocked God and Jesus, but mainly Jesus. And i freaked out for days didn’t feel like myself repented multiple times pretty sure this is just religious OCD but seriously I have not felt the same with my relationship with God and Jesus. OCD has really really affected my life and it sucks. I’m going through Harm OCD right now. So religious OCD has kinda gone away but I just want a better relationship with God and Jesus sorry this text is so long. Has anyone else gone through this?

Religion & Spirituality OCD

Dude01

Date posted: 11w

Does ERP actually work?

I keep asking questions about ERP because I'm trying to convince myself that it will actually work for R/E OCD. In one of the NOCD youtube videos, the analogy was "well people live with uncertainty all the time - they keep driving a car even if it can crash" etc. Yes, but driving a car is an uncertainty that people accept because it doesn't directly correlate to their IDENTITY, CHARACTER, and INTEGRITY. So to me that's an apples and oranges comparison. So yes I believe ERP can work (or I've heard) BUT can it work in the "right way" going forward. What I mean by that is do you come out of it 1) not having to accept a dogma / delusion? 2) do you keep your integrity and identity in tact or have to lie to yourself to move on from the real event? 3) is it TRUE peace of mind or just delusion? If it's not, if I have to sacrifice my integrity and identity to move on, to me that's not a genuine and sustainable solution it's just a bandaid. I hope someone who's done ERP can convince me otherwise because it'd be nice to move on from OCD

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