Okay so I just posted about this a couple of hours ago, but I just wanted to share my concern about seeing my best friend. My HOCD is focused on that I have a crush on her now. Does anyone know how I can not freak out when I see her in person in like a week and a half?

One way that is similar to ERP is to acknowledge the thought and the possibility that it is true. When I get stuck in a spiral I usually try saying or thinking to myself that it is a possibility that it is true and I just have to live with that. If you are not giving the OCD the reaction it wants, it will eventually get bored and back off. If you are too far into the anxiety in the moment and it is too much, recognizing that it is just a thought and what matters is your actions is also a good method for on the spot issues

I think we r focused too much on our body and sex these days ?including myself

Ignore the thought

It’s just a thought, refocus on something positive...maybe affirmations like she is like my sis

U will not

These thoughts make us feel it’s a bigger deal than it actually is

Just keep re-inforcing the truth in ur mind I.e she is your sis

Okay! I will do that! I think being around her again will be helpful because I’ll be like “Oh wait this is my bff”

Yeah definitely...keep the faith that u will have a great time with her just like before...maybe do some positive visualisations about what u guys will do together...

U r most welcome dear ?...I am facing the same challenges...never thought I will face something like this...It’s really tough I know...my best prayers are with u...

Ignore these doubts my friend

No worries my dear ?

It also helps me to chat about these things as I can’t share these with anyone and I feel too ashamed to get medical help for this through the surgery so thanks to u as well ?

Me too! I would never tell any of this to my friend because it would obviously freak her out, so it’s nice to talk to people who understand

But maybe think about how much do u wanna hang out with her..so that u can comfortably interact with her and enjoy her company with mental balance and without stressing urself out too much

I am sure u will be fine once u meet her....?...just ignore any sexual thoughts that come to ur mind and u will be fine...

Body and sex should be balanced with some sort of meditation or spirituality I believe....at least I try to do that...

It’s just ur sexual energy playin up on u I believe ?

That’s what I was thinking too! Because I’ve never really dated guys and a lot of my other close friends have boyfriends. So I was thinking that part of it too is just that I’m kind of lonely and obviously my bff gives me a lot of attention. So the OCD sneaks up and takes advantage of that

I think u shouldn’t worry about that too much... U will be fine...

I was married against my wishes as I am an Asian and I never got to date gals and stuff.. and all my dreams about getting my soulmate were broken...?

Although I am a very spiritual person as well

My sexual energies are out of balance as I am in eternal search of my soulmate

Yeah I am sure, u will find mr right at the right time ?

No worries my dear

I am a believer, i pray, meditate and do positive affirmations and also read about spirituality as well as gyming and martial arts to be in a better mental state and all these things do help ?

Yeah stop searching and just leaving it to God will definitely help me as well

Yup, u r right

Hey where r u based?

Okay.. my bro is in US... in Seattle ?

No worries my dear

Plz message me here if u wanna discuss anything or email me at shahzi.hussain@gmail.com.. it will be a pleasure to chat with u again..tc and lots of prayers and love for u ...

Thank you!

U r always welcome ??

I'm having a similar situation.Im going to high school in 2 weeks and I'm going to see my best friend in person.But you should use meeting her again as ERP.If they happen,they happen.Just let them be.

Just ignore these thoughts dear

Rather laugh at them

And just kinda get them out of the way

U have your goals to achieve in this life

U don’t have time for these silly thoughts ?

These thoughts are insignificant and a distraction... u have other important, meaningful and spiritual things to do in this life like finding ur soulmate-husband-lover and live a happy life with him isn’t it?.,?

Lol... it’s not ur mind or ur thought dear

It’s just a thought....God knows who is the originator of this thought directing it to ur mind?... some evil spirit or devil or whatever...

Do not wrongly associate urself with this thought

Rather place urself in the holy presence of God and just ignore these kind of thoughts

They are distractions and should not be listened to or focus on... focus on ur real goal ie be with ur soulmate-husband-lover

U WILL WIN IN THIS TEST

And come out stronger in the end

Thank you I will try that!

Thank you! It does sound a little scary but I do want to get better!

My only concern is that I will see her and spiral and then lose my best friend

Thank you so much!

It’s just hard to because when I do get excited about seeing her my HOCD spins to make it seem like I’m excited because I had a crush on her

But u didn’t have any crush on her when ur friendship started right?

No I didn’t. I never have. In my memory I’ve only like boys and I have always wanted to marry a man. I had this happen with one of my friends in hs but I didn’t know I OCD then so I was miserable

But of course now the HOCD is making me think “Maybe you did have a crush on her.” But I never thought of her like that until my HOCD got really bad again

And actually she didn’t become my bff until recently and we were not close until a couple months ago. So I don’t know if it’s because I’m afraid I’ll lose her as a friend or because it’s a new friendship

Thank you for all your help! I know I rambled a lot there but it felt good to say it and get it out. I was just wondering if you think it will get better once I actually start hanging out with her in person again?

I think u should feel better once u start hanging out with her, ignore all the sexual thoughts and focus between the positive and beautiful between ur relationship

It’s funny because she actually has been the main person helping me through a boy problem. Emphasis on BOY! So it’s like deep down in my heart I know that she is just like a sister to me, but my mind is playing tricks. So I’m anxious about seeing her and giving her a hug

Do u have sexual thoughts about other gals as well or just her?

There have been others. The ones about her literally started yesterday. She’s one of those people who gives a lot of compliments and we were talking about body image. We’re both theatre majors so your look is part of the job. And what triggered me was she said “You have a sexy bod!” So I’ve been spiraling since.

I agree. So yeah I’ve only been having these thoughts about her for about a day but it’s been awful. She makes jokes like that all the time and usually I just laugh and it doesn’t affect me, but this time it did so now I’m very anxious

Hmm.... are u sure she is not bisexual or sth?

Yes I’m sure. She’s just a very positive person and likes to lift people up!

I think it’s just her way of being funny, because we’ve had so many conversations about boys and when we’re going to meet our husbands

Okay...are u in a relationship with a guy at the moment?

No I am not.

And I’ve never really had a boyfriend as well

Okay

Yup

Same thing happened to me

Around 1.5 years after marriage, sexual ocd started

I’m so sorry!

My dad always says though, your time will come.

So I think that once I find a guy it will be a lot better

I’m sure you’ll find her

Thank you again for all your help! I know I’ll probably be back when I see her again, but this has really helped me!

Thank you! I think it will help if I stop searching as well

I am religious as well! Like I said I know deep down this is not who I am because if it was I would have known a very long time ago

But I still keep searching...lol

No that’s definitely not u specially if u r religious as well ?

I think part of it as well has been that I have been quite lonely this summer, so whenever I hear from my bff I get so overjoyed and my HOCD takes advantage of that

I am based in uk

US

That’s cool!

Again you were a big help today!

I will thank you! It really sucks because I just want my friend back you know! But I’m really going to try and ignore the thoughts this time and do compulsions with them

The thing that always gets me is that I started doing things with my hair/makeup differently and I’ll think “Oh I can’t wait for her to see how I look.” So then I think “Is that because I have a crush on her and want to impress her?!?!”

You are right! My mind still twist it though to say “Yeah it’s going to be her.”

Doesn’t matter how many times this thought comes to ur mind....As long as u keep on ignoring it and focusing on ur real goal, u r on the correct path and God will reward u for that even if u die trying... at least u won’t be ashamed in front of God in the end...?...Though I am sure these thoughts will eventually die and u will come out stronger in the end my dear... I have full faith in u...?