- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
What that guy was/is a great opportunity for you to do ERP. Stay with the uncertainty and the panic - it won't kill you, I promise. Let it be there, unsolved. It would be a great blow to your OCD.
- Date posted
- 6y
Become friends with him and tell him to say that to you on a constant basis and suddenly all the time. That would be best Exposure for ERP and best when you least expect.
- Date posted
- 6y
What happened before this? How did you react? Was it intended as a joke or serious insight or what? I dont ask any of these questions to deduce the legitimacy of his claim — I’m sure it has none. I only ask to understand the situation more and see where some cognitive distortions or confirmation bias may have come in.
- Date posted
- 6y
This person definitely doesn’t have some kind of insight into you that you do not. He obviously has a few preconceived notions about how gay/straight people are supposed to act that are pretty rigid, unreasonable, and demonstrably false. I’m sorry he decided to say this to you. Even if you did not have OCD, this would have been an incredibly rude thing to say. Anyone who tries to tell others how they feel is just a jerk. To me it seems this person has very rigid ideas about sexuality that probably stem from his own insecurities.
- Date posted
- 6y
@Esosa oh, wasn't aware of that. But my point was, whatever triggers us, we should take that and turn it into something positive.
- Date posted
- 6y
Some may not agree with me. But my best friend and I will play video games and he'll just randomly make a gay joke or whatever and its definitely good ERP. (If you dont agree with my methods then keep it to yourself commenters)
- Date posted
- 6y
I know your struggle. My situation is not the same but one of my friends triggered my HOCD a couple days ago. All she said in a text was “You have a sexy bod!” And it sent me spiraling into an obsession that I have a crush on her. Stay strong! Just know that thoughts do not make you! If you’re concerned about being gay then it means you’re not. I know how it’s hard with friends though!
- Date posted
- 6y
Just ride it out. Let it take its course and just say "okay, so what" fighting it will only make it worse.
- Date posted
- 6y
It was a very random addition to a conversation that I wasn’t even a part of... he said it as what he thought was a serious insight and then after he said it, one of my other friends that knows me slightly better responded to it by basically defending my straightness. I just can’t shake the thought that he said it because of some insight that he has on me that I may be clueless to myself. This just feels so real right now and I’m having trouble coping.
- Date posted
- 6y
@Anonymous22 I get what you’re trying to say with his friend doing ERP, but he’s not responsible for that at all. I know a good friend will help out, but this is more of a solo effort because the friend might not always be there with him.
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah I got your point
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
Hey guys, this last week has been pretty rough for me mentally for some reason. Today in particular I’m having a pretty bad episode. For some reason about 30 minutes ago, I randomly started remembering watching the Step Up movies growing up. I remember seeing Channing Tatum in that movie and think he’s attractive, along with some other men I think. Then I started to wonder if that means that I’m into men, because I somewhat remember getting a negative feeling about it from that young age. I looked up on Google if it’s possible to not realize your gay, and the ai thing said yes and started talking about something called latent homosexuality. It also so said that some people start sleeping with a particular before ever actually discovering their sexuality. This makes me want to take a panted homosexual test, or something. Lately I’ve also been wanting to dive into my past with my therapist to try to see where my “ocd” stems from (if I even have it) or if I’m truly gay and have just be conditioned to be straight. I’ve been spiralling guys and I need was honesty and wisdom. Can anybody help me ?
- Date posted
- 19w
Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.
- Date posted
- 15w
So I haven’t been on this app in a while. But I just want advice on how to overcome this. I’m now 18 and I’ve been trying out dating apps. I’m not gonna lie I’m kinda picky when it comes to dating only because I plan on dating to marry…so I take it a bit more seriously. But for some reason it’s so hard to click with people on these dating apps. So my friend was helping me through this dating apps process. I told her that I wasn’t interested in this guy I was texting anymore because of the way he was responding to my messages. And she says maybe you’re gay…this is honestly the sixth time (I’m definitely over exaggeration but this isn’t the first time someone had said this to me) someone has ask/said this. Every time someone says this it literally sends me down this spiral of are they seeing something I’m not seeing. Despite never having a crush on a girl my mind goes down this loop of overthinking. And when I say I don’t want that lifestyle or I don’t really find pleasure in being apart of the lgbtq community my mind is like in denial. I just wanted to have a fun teenage dating experience and now every time I open the app I always think what if I really am gay and I’m just in denial…or what if the reason why I’m not connecting with anyone is because I’m really into girls. Since i’m also religious, my mom wants to go what you’re denying who we are because of your religion. And I tried to reassure myself by saying I would know if that was the case like I would feel deep down who I’m truly attracted to and know that I’m trying to cover it up by dating men. This whole thing is so mentally taxing because I was going through this all throughout my senior year of high school and I’m not going into my freshman year of college so. Like I literally felt so much anxiety next to one of my classmates who was gay and a masculine presenting. I feel like if I would’ve told this to anyone, they’d say of course you’re in denial. But ig reply if you can relate
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