I’m having a bit of a freak out. I got triggered by someone I’m friends with today when he looked at me and said “Not to offend you or anything, but you might be gay.” There was not really any context here to figure out why he said it, it was very out of the blue. I’m having a very hard time rationalizing this and coming to terms with this. I’m not looking for reassurance I just need advice based on what I need to do with my mentality right now in order to stop this from causing so much pain.

What that guy was/is a great opportunity for you to do ERP. Stay with the uncertainty and the panic - it won't kill you, I promise. Let it be there, unsolved. It would be a great blow to your OCD.

Become friends with him and tell him to say that to you on a constant basis and suddenly all the time. That would be best Exposure for ERP and best when you least expect.

What happened before this? How did you react? Was it intended as a joke or serious insight or what? I dont ask any of these questions to deduce the legitimacy of his claim — I’m sure it has none. I only ask to understand the situation more and see where some cognitive distortions or confirmation bias may have come in.

This person definitely doesn’t have some kind of insight into you that you do not. He obviously has a few preconceived notions about how gay/straight people are supposed to act that are pretty rigid, unreasonable, and demonstrably false. I’m sorry he decided to say this to you. Even if you did not have OCD, this would have been an incredibly rude thing to say. Anyone who tries to tell others how they feel is just a jerk. To me it seems this person has very rigid ideas about sexuality that probably stem from his own insecurities.

@Esosa oh, wasn't aware of that. But my point was, whatever triggers us, we should take that and turn it into something positive.

Some may not agree with me. But my best friend and I will play video games and he'll just randomly make a gay joke or whatever and its definitely good ERP. (If you dont agree with my methods then keep it to yourself commenters)

I know your struggle. My situation is not the same but one of my friends triggered my HOCD a couple days ago. All she said in a text was “You have a sexy bod!” And it sent me spiraling into an obsession that I have a crush on her. Stay strong! Just know that thoughts do not make you! If you’re concerned about being gay then it means you’re not. I know how it’s hard with friends though!

Just ride it out. Let it take its course and just say "okay, so what" fighting it will only make it worse.

It was a very random addition to a conversation that I wasn’t even a part of... he said it as what he thought was a serious insight and then after he said it, one of my other friends that knows me slightly better responded to it by basically defending my straightness. I just can’t shake the thought that he said it because of some insight that he has on me that I may be clueless to myself. This just feels so real right now and I’m having trouble coping.

@Anonymous22 I get what you’re trying to say with his friend doing ERP, but he’s not responsible for that at all. I know a good friend will help out, but this is more of a solo effort because the friend might not always be there with him.

Yeah I got your point