Rocd

My psychologist tells me because my thoughts are based off of facts/ broken boundaries which is why I am having thoughts of am i in love , am I settling , and feeling guilty I should let him go to find someone who wouldn’t doubt him that I do not have rocd. She states rocd is intrusive , irrational thoughts not based off of real facts and I may have ptsd not ocd. He kissed someone else before we were official and he finds a certain type of female attractive that I find disgusting . So I spin about these issues all day long to the point I’m so unhappy with him and had to break up . It’s been over a month now but I’m still severely anxious and depressed The thing is I can’t stop thinking about this 24/7 with severe anxiety and depression and nothing is helping me . Can someone please tell me their thoughts

What do yall do when yall think of past partners or other people during intercourse with your current partner. I ended up confessing that to my partner and it’s damaging the relationship or making things really difficult. Having a really hard time trying to control the thoughts. I even think of other people while with my partner. Any advice or anyone with similar experience?? Please

Im scared that if I start to think it too much, I will start to believe it, and it becomes my reality. I always have thoughts like, “Do I love him, what if I lose feelings, how longs is this going to last, when will these thoughts finally go away, is he the one for me, is this how love feels like or am I just convincing myself?” I start to search things up to make myself feel better but the longest that works for is a few hours and then that gut wrenching feeling comes back. I love him I’m sure of it, but then why do I feel like this? I know if I didn’t love someone I would let them go and would t even fight for it or try to get better, but for him I’m trying ever second of everyday and sometimes I just feel so hopeless. I can’t afford a therapist and I’m too busy to talk to one. I don’t know what to do or how to feel, sometimes I just feel numb and I hate it, sometimes I feel like crying but can’t, and most the time I don’t feel jealous anymore and that scares me because I’m a jealous person. Then I get thoughts and reminders of my ex. Not in a way that I like them but the hatred and the trauma and pain they left me with. The mental, verbal and physical abuse. Sometimes my current relationship reminds me of him and why I shouldn’t be in one because I always fall into this deep hole that feels impossible to get out of. I just get so scared.