Does anybody know what causes someone to have hocd

Sometimes, it’s spontaneous. Other times, it can be caused by loneliness or a byproduct of growing up in a stringent household.

I’m not a therapist however you will be able to overcome this as well! If your attractions are to women, then one day you’ll meet someone who will understand everything you went through! I don’t know if you are religious but my prayers are with you

Well for me, it was because I had two recent bad dates where I didn't like the guy as much as I did, and some experimenting I did in middle school. (Which I didn't like)

Having OCD + valuing identity = HOCD. The flip side of every OCD theme is a strong value. If you have OCD, it wants to attack what’s most important to you because that’s what will cause you the most distress.

And just in general that plus the fact that I have super low self esteem along with not very good track with relationships and loneliness kinda came into play

For me low self esteem, being sexual abused as a child by a woman, fear of intimacy with women as a result. It would be easier if I was gay because I'm not afraid of being vulnerable around men like I am with women, porn addiction, weak sense of identity

I feel like the fact that we’re here means that we subconsciously know we’re not gay.

Of course! And you will be. My Dad always says “Your time will come.” Just because others might have found their person doesn’t mean you need to find yours right now. I know that I’ll find a guy somewhere despite all this, so you will find a woman!

Mine usually comes when I am lonely because when I’m lonely I reach out to all my female friends. So my OCD distorts my emotions of excitement to thinking that I have crushes on my friends

@iwanttocry I gave a peck to one of my friends while I was drunk at a party. (Don’t remember what led up to it) and of course I was drunk so it meant nothing. But of course my HOCD has made it into something it’s not. Even though after wards i felt nothing and I was very intoxicated HOCD made it worse

Thanks! I know it means nothing, but HOCD makes everything 10 times worse than it actually is

@iwanttocry, same, I overthink so ocd thought just pops in your head and you don't know a solution or a way round it, so you panic. And sometimes you feel what if you never thought about it ever. What if that thought never crossed your mind and everything would be perfect.

For me it’s a little different because I’ve never wanted to experiment, so the reason I kissed my friend was because I was secure in my sexuality at the time so it was just funny. But my ocd made me think “Did it mean something? What if I kissed another one of my friends and like it?” And now I think I have a crush on my bff and I’m scared that if I drink I’ll throw myself on her ?

Right! Even though the rational part of my brain is like “1. You’ve never thought of her like that. 2. If you’re drunk then you’re not in control of your behavior anyway. 3. If I was really gay I don’t think I would be hyper aware of everything I do and think.”

I'm surviving and working through my issues in therapy thanks

I dont think its weird. I have hocd and think there much be sone good reasons why we develop it. Its a great opportunity to learn about ourselves and others and turn it into something positive

Ok I was low-key panicking haha

I have no desire to have a relationship beyond a relationship with a man. But I need to expose my hocd to the possibility I'll never be certain and come to a place of peace and acceptance around that

I wish i was gay though, would be so much easier as I'm afraid of women

But i felt hella uncomfortable

low self-esteem and lack of self belief

Long story short I tend to over think a lot and that thought came into mind and I got super duper scared haha

That's nice

Maybe but I prefer the uncertainty

I know I'm attracted to women but do I really know?

If you’re okay with the uncertainty then go you! But you never have to do something you don’t feel comfortable with. Many times I’ve thought “Okay so maybe I am bisexual. But I don’t think I ever want to have a relationship outside of men.”

The go you! That means that you’re in a good place to help conquer your HOCD!

Ive never come out but in my mind as I go through my day I stay open to the possibility that I could feel attraction for any gender. What I find is my attractions are for women. But being willing to be open takes the pressure off

Thanks, I hope so, I want to be honest about who I am with a woman and be accepted and loved. I've been loved before but I never fully showed myself in an honest way, so the love was not authentic, not their fault

Im not religious but I believe in a higher power and pray

Oh no no no no

Like was In a quote on quote "relationship" with one

I was in a relationship and I didn't feel that way for her , I was dumb and I identified as pan even though I've always had crushes on boys

@HOCDiagnosed

Hah nope

Yeah that’s the point of experimenting. You know that you didn’t really feel anything or like it at the time so this is just your OCD playing with you. The fun thing about it too is that we can try things and be curious without immediately changing our identity.

I’m so sorry that happened to you! I hope that you are doing okay!

@iwanttocry So you've never kissed a girl or done anything sexual with a girl?

No

Is it weird that I developed it?

Aaahh

Lol how old are you?

I'm 17 haha

Awesome

Where are you from?

Texas !! And you?

Cool, London