advice please

hello, i need some advice. Btw this is gonna be really long so excuse how much this is. All my life i’ve loved God and Jesus. I believe that Jesus Christ is my Lord and savior, and he died for me. I believe and I really love Christ. I always have. I’ve had intrusive thoughts, but recently since my mother passed, they have been bad because i’ve gotten closer to the father in heaven. My thoughts revolve around cursing, and hurting the Lord. Which brings me pain, because the Lord has done nothing but save me. I have developed the fear of committing the unforgivable sin. I’ve researched so much to help my stress, but all it does is make me tell myself not to think those things, and of course i start to think about those things. I have horrible thoughts about the holy spirit even though I want it in my heart and everything I do to be out of it. It just almost feels like i’m at war with what i believe and it’s so frustrating. I have horrible thoughts about the devil. That says I give myself to him, when I don’t and everytime i get these thoughts I have to give myself back to God and Jesus, and I have to picture them correctly, or i have to restart and it can’t land on certain numbers, so if i got it correctly pictured in my mind, but i prayed on 2 i have to restart. This makes me sound so crazy saying this. I also, have to pray in my head; because if i pray out loud sometimes i can convince myself i said things i don’t remember, and sometimes my intrusive thoughts take over and they come out outloud, because they get mixed in with my thoughts on prayer. It all just hurts, because i know this isn’t what i want and it scares me it will get to where i truly want these things when i really don’t. I also have thoughts that say I dare God things, when i don’t, and if i don’t tell God it’s not true a disaster is going to happen. I feel guilt for not praying, and fighting my compulsions and also fear demons and being possessed. Please give me advice, i’m 14 years old, and have already set myself on being in hell because of my thoughts that i can’t control.

Religion & Spirituality OCD

parislu14

Date posted: 2y

I just want to first say that I hear you. I struggle with religious ocd as a Christian as well. First, this is your OCD, and NOT from God. God is a good God and he is gentle and lowly. Please read the book, “Gentle and Lowly.” This is a book that a lot of scrupulous Christian individuals read and actually don’t experience triggers. Trust me on that one. Also this is a resource for when you are struggeling with your ocd. Your not going to hell and I know that for a fact.

rocketship555

Date posted: 2y

@parislu14 thank you so much!!! You don’t understand how much this means.

parislu14

Date posted: 2y

@rocketship555 Absolutely. Also feel free to feel like you can come to me. I know that seems weird because we don’t know each other, but i know what It’s like to be alone in our ocd even when we are surrounded by a Christian community

rocketship555

Date posted: 2y

@parislu14 do you have snapchat?

parislu14

Date posted: 2y

https://scrupulosity.com/blog/

Anonymous

User type: Staff

Date posted: 2y

First I want to say, I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I think you must be an incredibly brave 14-year-old to be going through these things. I am so glad you found this community. OCD latches onto the things that we care the most about- it makes sense that this would be Jesus and God. I want you to know that OCD is a very REAL illness. I always say that Jesus knows our hearts, He knows us better than we know ourselves and He knows OCD inside and out. I want you to also know that this illness is treatable. You may need medications alongside therapy. ERP is the evidence-based treatment of choice for OCD. Have you done any therapy at all? It is also so so important that whomever you see for treatment really understands the complexity of OCD. My heart goes out to you. As someone who has experienced OCD since I was a child, I know just how hard it can be to get the right diagnosis and the best treatment. It took me years but I am so grateful that I was able to finally learn ERP. This was life-changing for me. It helped me to cope with all the different themes that I experienced throughout the years. I wish everyone with OCD could get ERP because I know firsthand just how helpful it can be. If you would like to learn more, Our Care Team will typically begin with a free 15-minute call to discuss treatment, answer any questions you have, and book your first appointment. Please feel free to schedule a convenient time that works best for you here: https://learn.nocd.com/scheduler

Skyline 🕊️

Date posted: 7w

Struggling just need advice or tips

How do I deal with the thought that my OCD thoughts because of their nature are separating me from God? The one night I couldn’t sleep and prayed about it and just said God if I die and go to hell over this just know I’m doing the best I can. This isn’t me and I don’t want it. — I know that it doesn’t work this way but if you have any advice please share. And also please be nice and respectful of my beliefs. Thank you a struggling Christian.

Religion & Spirituality OCD

Cammy123

Date posted: 6w

Religious OCD

So about 2 years ago I gave my life to Jesus. I've always been a "Christian" but never truly lived liked one. Honestly never truly felt love for them until 2 years ago. It was the best couple months of my life!!! I felt so happy and loved and unstoppable! I thought this fire for God & Jesus will never burn out. One day I had a thought about is God real? It bothered me so bad and I went into a massive spiral. Doubting everything. My faith. if I was good enough. Am I really saved? Do I have enough faith? Is my doubt real? Is it too much? Have these blasphemous made God not want me anymore? Or Jesus? :( But I knew I was and that they were real! I know I've heard them. Then I started having horrible blasphemous thoughts but then it would go back to doubting thoughts then back to the blasphemous ones. I hated the thoughts and doubts. The thoughts are so mean towards God, Jesus & HS. It’s anywhere from evil thoughts to cussing thoughts to rejection thoughts/denying. Demonic thoughts. Literally anything bad you could think of! Even thoughts of if I really love them or wanna follow them. I learned about OCD from what I've looked up but I've been dealing with this for about 2 years now. It's hard. I doubt if it’s OCD. Definitely feel like I'm trapped or my faith isn't the same. Which makes me sad because I want my faith! I feel like I've gotten lazy and honestly that I don't deserve them or am "too far gone" from them. I feel like idk how to be a Christian or how to have faith or just exist tbh. I wanna love God & Jesus! I want faith! I just feel kinda stuck. Has anyone gone through this or has advice or tips?

Religion & Spirituality OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 6w

My mind seems to be imploding in on itself

So, alot has changed. I'm Christian and currently believe we are in the end of times. It's changed my whole perspective on life. I quit my job and moved back in with family, starting to go to church, apologized to those I hurt except, one person who I talked to two family members and they told me to delete the message and with my other apology ( that i also believed was God telling me to confess in 2020) i lied at some parts because of shame and confusing myself most likely intentionally. I confessed everything to my dad and he says since i turned from it, repented, that i need to let it go and continue forward. Since then, my minds been saying that I'm outside of God's will and everything's gone down hill. I had also prayed that God exposed me and now it's like all this evil and wickedness that feels like it's coming out of my heart settles into my chest. I've prayed to God, worshipped to God, but thoughts and images of being sent to hell or my loved ones pops into my head and I've gone to sleep twice each night accepting the fact that because of me not doing so may have doomed me and my loved ones and I feel scared that I got so tired and stopped fighting it. I've had ocd since I was 7 but it just is so scary because it's hitting down to the wire and I'm scared that I was never a child of God at all I mean I have iniquity I thought I repented for but people I love still struggle with what I've done and I prayed for them and tried to help them and suggest therapy but I haven't did what I could to make it right like I should've. But these images and thoughts they're horrible. I feel like I'm against God truly and I'm like Lord change the circumstances and I won't resist so that I can preach Your word and everyday I feel like I'm gambling. It's like every thought is biblical for the most part. I don't want to kill myself cuz what if I have a chance that God will have mercy on me but....

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