my bf walked away to go surf while we’re at the beach and he left his phone with me. i have the urge to look at it because i keep seeing online how girls are happy in their relationship until they look through their bfs phone. i know it’s wrong to do that and that means i don’t trust him but i’m just worried that i’ll be right. how do i avoid this ?
Don’t look at his phone.
@Anonymous i’m probably not gonna but why is it that i shouldn’t? what privacy should there be in a relationship
@Annella It’s not privacy, it’s respect, if you have to go snooping around to seek reassurance the what’s the point of building trust, you don’t build trust my sneaking or using compulsive behaviors for your own personal benefit. You build trust by giving someone clarity. When you’re in relationship. You give someone your full trust so that they have a chance to prove to you there worth. God will reveal there secrets and bad behavior. That’s not for you to expose. It’s like a jar of coins filled to the top. Every-time your boyfriend does wrong or lies you take a coin out of it each time until there is nothing left. Or you give your fears and worries to God and allow him to give the decision of wether your bf is right for you.
@Anonymous i needed to hear this thank you
Also I think part of it is privacy is still important, for example I wouldn’t want my boyfriend seeing the conversations I have with my mom when I talk about my relationships problems because it’s a personal conversation
@spookycupcake Ok now that I said that I’m worrying that maybe I should be comfortable with him seeing those conversations lol but I think it’s just the anxiety talking
@spookycupcake omg if my bf looked through my phone he would just see me talking shit (obviously about relationship problems nothing bad )
@Annella Lol yes
Trust me, if he loves you or really is not hiding anything, in a week or 2 he will give you his phone and be like. “Hey you wanna check my phone” but that’s also how you disrupt trust with both of you. He might take offense that you don’t trust him unless he has lied to you before or hid something from you.
@Anonymous we’ve been dating for almost 2 years, that seems kinda random for him to ask me that
@Anonymous i wouldn’t care if he looked through my phone because i have nothing to hide
@Anonymous I agree that he randomly wouldn’t just let her check his phone.
@anonocd what helps me combat these types of worries is the fact that if he isn’t worried or thinking about it than neither should i
@Annella That’s not how you build trust. Sorry to point that out, but trust is only truly built with acceptance and patience.
I view this like so: yes there is a chance that you would find out important information, also a chance that you wouldn’t, but it is an unacceptable way to find out. You have to just treat that the same you would treat something more obviously wrong. Don’t entertain this option. If you ruminate about it then you really will hurt the relationship.
@anonocd what do u mean by the part “you have to just treat that the same you would treat something more obviously wrong”
@Annella I mean view this situation the same you would view this situation: if you were to lock your boyfriend in a cage for the rest of his life, then you would not have to trust him, it would be easy. In the same way that doing that is unacceptable try to view spying on him as unacceptable and not a real option.
Also on subject of privacy….would anyone on here or in the world want their thoughts to be public information? Privacy is important and we do not to break down every door of privacy to KNOW things. Because it’s just reassurance and that’s not trust. Trust is when you believe in someone and can count on them. We have to allow temptation. Without temptation there actually isn’t anything to define someone by. Brave and fearless are different. A harmless man doesn’t make him good he is just not in a position to do harm. We have to allow ppl to be themselves even if it’s not what we want. It’s real
Put the phone down and tell yourself what you are doing is wrong
hi guys, i’m struggling again. the other day, my bf and i went to get ice cream and there was this girl with a fat ass. i pointed it out first because like super impressive and she’s my ideal body type at the moment. (note: i get jealous and freak over girls i have jealousy to) so i was staring at him to see if he was looking at her but i couldn’t tell, he was looking in her direction but she was in the front counter. idk if he was looking at her. i brought it up and he was really sweet about it and reassured me that he didn’t and that he purposely didn’t look out of respect for me. i believe him but i have a little voice in my ear telling me he’s lying and he obviously was looking. any tips on how to diminish that little voice ??
How to stop overthinking my boyfriend is cheating? He’s cheated before yes.. only once!! (not physically cheating BUT Cheating is cheating I get it)…. I’m still trying to heal and not be so insecure and self doubting myself like I did something wrong or that I’m not enough.. he hasn’t done it again since that day but I still overthink and still feel like I need to check through his social media accounts but I still have this fear but it’s like I know he’s not?? Idk if this makes sense I just need some friendly advice!! Please be respectful!! ❤️🩹 I want me and partner to move forward but I constantly keep thinking about it.. that was the one bad thing he’s did in our relationship..we’ve been together for almost two years
I often feel like i did something wrong even tho i am positive i didn’t, my boyfriend and i have been together for like 6 months and i’ve been completely loyal to him the whole time but recently i’ve been feeling the need to confess that i cheated on him even tho i didn’t and there’s absolutely no proof that i did something even close, i don’t talk to other men and if i do my boyfriend has full access to my phone and it’s usually a friend or me asking a simple question but i still feel the need to confess even tho i’ve done nothing wrong🥲 someone please help it’s so confusing
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