My OCD

I'm 41 when I was 11 my parents put me on Ritalin and immediately I started counting coins and doing religious chants I got this game jenga for Christmas and when I tell you I sat there putting that puzzle together and pulling out different pieces of it for over 6 hours in the middle of the night because it didn't feel right it was awful. They brought me back to the doctor and they immediately took me off the Ritalin but I still had the OCD so they tried every drug in the book on me and I've been on Prozac and Remeron for about 30 years I also developed panic disorder with agoraphobia so I'm on Lorazepam for the last 10 years. I have the going over in my head thing and touching or repeating OCD that I still battle with where if I'm doing something something reminds me of something else that could be bad so I have to redo whatever I was doing so for instance if I was putting on my shirt and I hear an ambulance go by I have to take the shirt off put it back on think of good thoughts and the right order and then put the shirt on this can take up to an hour. Or if I go to get up and a commercial comes on that scares me about something with health I have to automatically sit back down wait until that commercial's over or if I hear a word that reminds me of something that I'm worried about I take that thing I'm worried about will happen if I continue watching whatever show I'm watching I had a gambling addiction too so playing this game Baccarat you either bet on red or blue and if I bet on red look at the table the table is blue then I look at the B from Baccarat and that's the second letter of the alphabet so I'd say I'm going to lose by 2. This isn't talking in my head slowly this is basically just me quickly thinking it you notice the blue you notice the B and all that I'm going to lose and you get that Dreadful feeling you're going to and then you do. :and sometimes it would happen by whatever I thought I would lose by and that would reinforce my OCD even though I know OCD is not some kind of fortune teller I have a hard time explaining things to people because there's so many words I'm not allowed to use because it'll trigger my OCD or I think something bad will happen. I always over explain things even though I understand people understood what I said I have come a long way but I remember when I was 20 on Christmas Eve I drove into this addition pulled into a random person's house looked at their address numbers as four numbers and then as the first two and the last two and they had to add up right and they had to add up right then I would have to look at the clock and add the time so if it was 7:15 7 + 1 + 5 13 (13 was a bad number) that would have to add right with the address and if it didn't add I would back out and pull back in their driveway I pulled in and out of these people's driveway like 40 times and I saw another neighbor staring out the window on a cordless phone obviously calling the cops like what the hell is this guy doing. There's so much more but it's hard to explain that you would have to be inside my brain to understand how it works So that's just some of the weird stuff I have with OCD hopefully anybody else that experiences anything remotely like that understands it is OCD This was my first post sorry it was so long