jdd

Date posted: 1y ago

I think it's real and I don't want to accept it

It's like a neverending cycle of doubt that I'm even straight. Too much physical and mental evidence which I cannot seem to let go of or ignore. I can't see myself with the same sex or getting married to them but how do I even trust that I don't? I know if I even have to ask that it's probably OCD but I'm sure at some point I'll get some thought or image of that and start liking it if I let go. I'm not even sure if I can get into a relationship with a woman because I've never been in one in general and I'm in my 30s and who knows if I'll be good enough sexually in the moment going forward.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Luke97

Date posted: 1y ago

You're not alone. I've been where you are. There is a way out of this. Practice ERP!

Mr.ocd

Date posted: 1y ago

All im going to say is that ocd will make it feel as real as real gets. Seems right now you are in an anxious state and your ocd is taking advantage of that. Try your best to not ruminate on these things. You van do this i believe in you! And im not a religious person but i really do like the saying god does not gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers! You are strong! You've dealt with this before! And you can again!

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

@Mr.ocd I understand you love that verse and you say your not religious, but it says clearly if you believe in one thing from the Bible you believe in all of it. All or nothing

Mr.ocd

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymous Nope 👎 that all or nothing thinking

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

@Mr.ocd Don’t quote Bible versus and then say your not religious. Jesus is not a religion. It is truth. He is the only religion

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

@Mr.ocd Your basically mocking him

Mr.ocd

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymous I respect and acknowledge your thoughts on religion but they aren't mine.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

@Mr.ocd Of course, I understand, I am not forcing Jesus on to you at all. Thank you for understanding

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Man this is all a mental game. Don’t reassure, know yourself and know that you will achieve what you are looking for. The will not defeat you. You will conquer this obstacle. I believe in you. You will do amazing, God will be by your side always. Much love to you. Don’t be hard on yourself. But be consistent with trying to get better. Don’t give up on you dreams and true values. Focus on your goals. Focus on getting g better and achieving greatness. God bless you and wish you much love and joy for your life. 🙏👍🏻

jdd

Date posted: 1y ago

I don't know if it is a mental game man. It seems real because I'm the only one who might have just not known what they liked growing up and didn't try to find out explicitly or did know and ignored it and didn't pay attention to the cues and porn and only assumed I liked girls by default and let it go until it got to obsession levels 8-9 years ago. I also think I might have coaxed myself into an OCD diagnosis because it's what I wanted it to be.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

@jdd You’ll be alright man, your thinking about this too much. Don’t go into reasoning with your problems, but get to the bottom of the triggers. Stop reassuring yourself. Don’t do it. Don’t be negative with your words as we’ll. Tell yourself I will do great. Be positive man. No point in being negative.

sunshinehelps

Date posted: 1y ago

If when you’re experiencing these things, it feels like you need to figure out the answer right away and there is a desperation and urgency to know whether or not you are straight, that’s OCD. It really helped me when someone told me this because I was dealing with the same thing you described, and I really needed to know instantly because I was so concerned it would change the trajectory of my life and I felt disgusted by it. I would also take compulsive actions to try to figure out the answer, some that made sense (like checking who I was attracted to) and some that didn’t, like associating random events to determine if I was gay or straight. I read a post on here that said, people who are truly gay don’t feel disgusted by their thoughts. Although they may worry about what others will think, most of the time they know that they are gay from a young age and don’t really question it or ruminate on it much. I hope this helps!

jdd

Date posted: 1y ago

I am not sure if I have any urgency to figure it out anymore if it ever was. Seems like I just refuse any answer I give myself.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Real

PumpkinFrapp

Date posted: 1y ago

I know what you mean so much, and it’s painful. I’m also in my 30s, but haven’t had a relationship in a loooooong time, and I keep thinking that the point in my life where I was happy in a relationship with a man has ended. It’s not even really doubt, it just feels so sure. But it isn’t certain, and that’s what we have to get comfy with. We’ll get through this 🙂🫶

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

@CaramelFrapp We will get through it, i believe in everyone.

flippy15

Date posted: 23w ago

The phrase I’m gay just keeps popping up

Anyone else will just be doing anything normal and I’m gay comes in? It’s so distressing and I try and say ok sure ocd but the anxiety over takes me and my mind won’t let me believe I’m straight when I am. I love men I’m Not attracted to women but when I ask myself the doubt is for sure there which sounds like Casebook ocd. I’m just sick of this I don’t want to have to laugh at things in my head that don’t make any sense it’s so hard and unfair

Dead girl wa...

Date posted: 22w ago

I’m confused

Ok so I’m a 17 year old female, and I’ve always thought I was straight. But I just really want to know how you would know the difference between so-ocd and actually questioning your sexuality. I have nothing against the LGBTQ community (in fact I am very much a token straight friend, lol) but I saw a video about comp-het recently and it sort of felt like what I was experiencing. I don’t want to be gay, I want to be with men, I want to like men, I’ve always liked men, but now I’m questioning whether or not that’s real? Because people can be gay but not want to be right? I’m single and I always have been. I think women are gorgeous, but when I try to imagine actually having any sort of romantic or sexual relationship with a woman it feels wrong, at least most of the time it does? Sometimes I’m less sure, and I’ve never been particularly boy crazy. I’ve liked maybe 2 or 3 people in my life, (not to say I’ve never found other guys attractive, but it doesn’t seem to be as often as most people) I have no particular reason to be afraid of being gay, very supportive family, safe area ect, but I don’t want to be, does that mean this is ocd, I don’t know what’s going on every time I say I’m straight I feel like I’m lying, but that might just be because I think about it so much. The idea of being with a woman doesn’t feel like something I would want, but is that just because I don’t want to want it? People online say things with so much sureness, if you feel like this it means this. Ect.

Sexual Orientation OCD

landonw

Date posted: 20w ago

Why Does It Seem So Real?

Lately, I have been able to manage my OCD thoughts kind of. They’re still there but I kind of push them away? I know that pushing them away doesn’t help but it’s been my only way to survive. I get scared often about things like clothes or my voice or how I present myself. I get scared that I want to dress differently or act differently and it scares me. I know for a fact I don’t want boobs or anything like that, but my mind constantly is like “What if?” and it kills me. It has ruined everything for me. Sometimes I can’t even look in the mirror because I get scared that I won’t like what I see. I’ve also been afraid because I find myself relating to many female characters, or I want to act like them. Like Pearl from Steven Universe. I want to be graceful and elegant like her, but I don’t want to be a girl you know? My mind constantly pushes these thoughts of what if and images. Because I am not like most guys. Which I know is okay. It just freaks me out. It makes me question every aspect of my being. I know who I am, but I know that the only way to move forward is to accept that maybe I don’t.. It’s just a lot.

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I think it's real and I don't want to accept it

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