Mental Breakdown- Fear of going Crazy OCD

I recently have been under an extreme amount of stress. Working full-time, taking care of a toddler, taking an intensive course with deadlines all in 1 month. I broke down Wednesday with rolling panic attacks. For the past 7days now I have panic attacks where I profusely shake, heart increases above 100, and feel like I am going to vomit my insides out. But worst of all, is the intrusive thoughts that I am losing my mind. My OCD revolves around loss of control and fear of going crazy. Ever since a kid. I have been through OCD counseling before but never did ERP. Instead, coped for 4 years using ACT. I have been to the ER and a Behavioral health clinic both in the past 7 days from my panic and fear of losing my mind. It's been so exhausting. Fear of insanity is so tremendous, when the panic sets I feel like no one will be able to help me and I'll be stuck in my mind forever. It's been the lowest I have ever felt. Hoping there is hope for me. I have little faith in myself 🙏 🪷

"Pure" OCD

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I am so sorry you’re going through this. I was doing really good with managing my OCD and then I went off my medication thinking I would be fine and then I spiraled. Had to go to the ER too. I take care of a toddler too and it’s so hard. I went back on meds and am doing ERP on here with NOCD. Have you worked with a therapist who specializes in treating OCD? Have you thought about going on medication? Praying for you!

Anonymous7108

Date posted: 2y

Thank you so much for your reply ❤️ I hate hearing that someone else has experienced the similar because it's such an awful feeling. My heart is with you! The behavioral health clinic I went to prescribed Prozac. I started it 2 days ago. So far, I can't tell if it's working or not. I started my period yesterday and felt huge relief. I'm wondering if hormones are playing a bigger role ? I have been staying at my mom's and my son is with my partner/his dad. It's helped not having to take care of a toddler the past 5 days. However tonight I will go home, so I am kind of scared. When did you notice the medication started working?

Anonymous7108

Date posted: 2y

I would love to hear more about your experience using ERP. Are you finding it helpful?

MissingHappy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I experienced a similar breakdown about 15 years ago and it was truly terrifying. The most important thing for me was sleep. My brain was unable to reset and calm down because it was not rested. I also ended up in the ER, and got a prescription for a heavy-duty anti-anxiety medication. I didn’t take it long term, but long enough that it helped my body to rest, which then allowed my mind to rest and my brain to reset a bit. Is there anyone who can help you care for your toddler so that you can get some much-needed care for yourself? I hope you get to feeling better. Sending love and good vibes. ❤️

Anonymous7108

Date posted: 2y

Thank you so much for your reply. I'm so sorry you have gone through similar too. My heart is with you! ❤️ Rest has been very difficult for me as well. The mind keeps going and going, full of fear. It's difficult to ease it. Mine is so strong, medication doesn't seem to help much. And i wake up in anxiety in fear of another panic attack, which ultimately brings one on. Im in fear or fear itself at this point. Thank God my partner has watched my son for the past few days. He requires so much attention, I am not able to provide it fully in my condition. I will say I feel better today and having this chat and hope for ERP 🙏 How are you doing now?

MissingHappy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous7108 I am glad you’re feeling better today! Keep your chin up. I am doing ERP, and while the anxiety is still there, I am finding ways to manage it better. I hope you have the same experience!

Anonymous7108

Date posted: 2y

@MissingHappy Thank you! Sending you positive energy and a smooth recovery! We got this! 💪

Anonymous

Date posted: 23w

Ocd/going crazy

Hi about a week ago I found out I have ocd and chronic anxiety! I tried zoloft and it was terrible for me. I also started therapy and I take hydroxyzine but I will discuss further medication with my doctor. My question is I have a huge fear that I'm going crazy, I am crazy, or schizophrenic to the point I'm so hyper aware of my surrounding ill look out the corner of my eye to make sure I'm nit seeing anything ill make sure to double check what I'm hearing and it's so draining! I get really scared and go into a panic and cry 😅 I need some reassurance has anyone felt this way my doctor and therapist explained it to me but I'm still very scared. I feel like one day I'll have a break and I won't be the same! I tried the grounding exercise and breathing it helps temporarily. I also cut out smoking weed and none of my family has this but I feel like I have it or ill develope it even though it's rare!

justtrynamakeit

Date posted: 22w

POCD - Week of Hell

So I was doing good for about 5 months. I was going to therapy, practicing the skills, and for about the past month, I fell into a depression funk. The last week, however, has been a week of really loud OCD. I am in a constant state of anxiety and find myself doing compulsions. I'm wondering if anyone has experienced what I'm about to describe. I'm considering taking myself to the hospital, but my little boy's birthday party is this weekend and I don't want to miss it: I keep having this bad feeling like I actually want to do the bad things in my mind. I know OCD intrusive thoughts can tell you "I want to" but this just seems different - maybe it's OCD trying to come at me a new way. It's not like thoughts telling me "I want" it's like even when I tell myself I don't want to do the bad stuff, there's this nagging feeling telling me I really want to. I'm scared.

kenzieisfound

Date posted: 14w

fear of losing control??

I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but I relate so much to what people here are going through. I used to think it was just anxiety, and I felt like I could handle that. But lately I’ve been spiraling—constantly afraid that what I’m feeling is something worse, like psychosis or losing control of my mind. I feel so detached and scared, and I just want peace again. I have anxiety doing the smallest things, like the thought of waking up everyday and even eating give me straight up panic. I am afraid all the time, it’s paralyzing. And a lot of people say someone with psychosis wouldn’t worry that they’re in it, but then I convince myself I’ve been in it this whole time, and haven’t known, and that maybe I’ve been doing weird stuff. Idk. I also get really scared of labels. Even the idea of OCD makes me feel like I’ll never get better or like I’ll be stuck like this forever. I just want to be okay. If anyone has felt this way—confused, overwhelmed, or scared of what’s happening in their mind—I’d really appreciate any support or encouragement.

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Mental Breakdown- Fear of going Crazy OCD

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