Has anyone with ROCD managed staying in a relationship with their partner who cheated on them? He seems genuinely remorseful but I have previous trauma related to cheating with both my parents and previous relationships. Struggling with anxiety and rumination now.
That would be one of the most difficult things for me to do....
@Sparker1289 It’s been a very difficult 8 months, that’s for sure.
I’m currently in the same exact situation. He cheated the first 2.5 months we were together, he was already talking to her before he knew me and we moved extremely fast like he practically moved in the first day I met him. So I explained that to him. But then he emotionally cheated on sc by flirting w someone he never even met for a month or two last year. I found out on new years night and the last text was from beginning of December. During this time we were in the process of going on housing to leave my toxic household bc he was living w me at my moms. He deleted Snapchat, instagram, facebook, and even TikTok on his own. He only uses YouTube and Netflix. And I’m gonna be honest, from who he was when I first met him up until today, he’s a completely different man. Obviously i still freak over that stuff and it’s constantly in my head. I know he loves me and wouldn’t do that again and know he wouldn’t go have sex with someone else. But I haven’t been happy in awhile. Because of this and p0rn, my self esteem is completely gone and I don’t have the best self image. He knows this too. Im insecure because of this… I hate myself constantly… I’ve been thinking abt this relationship a lot recently and idk what to do, we’ve been together for a year and 3 months. He did explain what his mentality was I don’t think he would’ve if he didn’t change
@alexysfs My ex of 11 months ago had a girlfriend the entire time obv I didn’t know about until a few months after our relationship ended and even w me telling her they stayed together for another year. Couple days ago I looked at her TikTok (bc u get obsessed w the ppl they cheat u on w LOL) and she got a new bf and I was so genuinely happy and excited for her
@alexysfs Sounds very similar to my relationship! Together a little over a year and he didn’t do anything physical, but he cheated sexually via text with an ex. He seems remorseful but it’s been very difficult to no obsess over what happened, especially with previous trauma. I’m not sure if I can ever move past it.
@violet_hydrangea It was so relieving to hear I’m not the only one right now. He said he only slept w this girl once the first week we got together and I still don’t believe that bc he would go hang out w her up until the beginning of last august when we were only together for 2 months. But the texts hurt so much too, because the ex i had for 11 months was long distance and his gf was irl so it could easily happen. But the obsession with the woman is unreal. Been a year and I see her facial features in every woman now… idk how to stop it.
Please help. Been with my boyfriend for 15 months. 6 months into our official relationship I found out he kissed someone 1 week before he asked out officially. He told me he loved me at that time and I felt we were exclusive. He apparently did not . He also agreed he would not watch porn and lied once about it. I also have been spinning about the types of women he thinks are attractive and I find disgusting so I sent him pictures for months hoping he would say it looks gross but he didn’t and it killed me. Throughout the relationship I have been spinning about these issues really hard and it damaged my trust for him but I know he’s an amazing great guy I just feel very uneasy. It has been 1 year of me spinning about these issues and other little ones constantly texting him everyday and my friends about them to try to figure things out but I am unhappy . 4 months ago I had a severe breakdown and since I am severely depressed and anxious every day all day with thoughts of is this a wrong relationship , comparing him to other men, wondering if I would be happier with someone else. I have been seeing a therapist seeing a therapist one thinks I have rocd and a psychologist doesn’t . Nothing is helping me and I’m on Zoloft . I broke up with him a month ago and I’m still spinning in circles if I made the right decision or if I left over rocd and overblowing the issues that bothered me . Someone please tell me if you think this is rocd (edited)
I suffer with a constant worry of what if I’ve cheated. You name it I’ve thought I’ve done it. I’m quite flirty at nature and also insecure. Sometimes hand in hand I don’t think they balance each other out as the constant need for attention to validate myself can backfire. Although I have the best partner ever and she makes me feel nothing less than beautiful I still crave validation from others. That being said someone I used to work with left over half a year ago and when they worked at my current place of work we were very close. Text everyday, phone calls you name it. However looking back I was extra flirty as I wanted him to fancy me. I wanted the power to turn him down to make myself feel better. Awful I know. Now all I can think about is what if I’ve done something. What if I kissed him. What if I’ve slept with him etc. I’ve kept our whole conversations from the minute I got his personal number. I constantly search key words to see if my intrusive thoughts are real. I can except the uncertainty my therapist tells me about as if I have done the worst and cheated I would loose my partner and our 10 year relationship. I love her so much she is my life but I can’t stop thinking what if I’ve cheated. Does anyone else suffer with the same theme? If so how do you cope?
-Partner and I are still together since I found out 1 year ago. -he has been actively working on himself and has gotten therapy, and really doing well. Has done everything I’ve asked, and he’s a better person from therapy -OCD has flared from this trauma -we have been in couples therapy, and I’m in individual. -lately have been struggling with the feeling of just not feeling like enough, insecure, and needing constant validation that he loves me I’m really just trying to seek support from others who have been through similar, and are still in the relationship. Please don’t be rude. You really don’t know what it’s like until it happens to you. I said before it happened to me I would leave anyone that did that, and you really just don’t know until you experience it.
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