With the mundane days in a relationship. The days where he maybe annoys me a little by repeating a joke too much or shows me stuff in the sense of humor I don’t resonate with. I’m trying to make peace with the differences I’m not crazy about in our relationship.
I was very anxious when I started to see, that not every day in a relationship is "special" and full of butterflies. Or that I don't adore everything my boyfriend does or says. But he once told me , he loves the everyday life with me. My partner often gets emotional when we go groceries shopping together. He says alone it is so boring and just a task. But together he enjoys it and sometimes he even has tears of love in his eays when he is happy that we go together. And that is kinda beautiful. Since then I try to do the embrace the days that we spent together even if we only go groceries shopping or watch TV. (We see eachother on the weekends not during the week, so maybe that makes it easier to enjoy these things together because it is not totally for granted). When he makes a joke, that I don't like I try to tell in a funny way that the Joke was not good (sometimes I also freak out inside of me and worry too much).
@freia It’s okay, communication between couples can take a long time to perfect. This takes a long time to figure out and some couples haven’t figured it out yet. I think that as long as you guys are able to communicate with each other what you do and don’t like it will get worked on and sometimes mistakes can happen along the way.
Hi I have been struggling with this. I did not know I was not alone in this, I thought maybe it was abnormal which scared me a lot. All I know for sure is that I love him and he treats me so well and I want him in my life no matter what! Thanks for your post
Hey there! There are things that my wife finds funny and others that she doesn't. I learned that it is my responsibility to avoid making jokes that upset her or make her feel uncomfortable. Yes, it is important that you do your best not to get triggered over an innocent joke. However, please note that your partner also has the responsibility to support you in your healing journey and avoid saying things that don't serve you in any way, no matter how innocent may seem to him.
@HenryMP27 This is great in showing how both partners have responsibilities and learning to do. I think it triggers me a bit to read this as it makes me wonder if my partner is a bad person for not being perfect at this already, but I know that communication between couples takes time to figure out sometimes.
Hi, I appreciate everyone’s comments! In my case, all of his jokes are innocent. They just… to be honest try too hard sometimes and can be cheesy. Sometimes, him and I are on different wavelengths. But I still love him. These feelings are hard for me to sit with. I’ve usually looked forward the most to people who make me laugh. With him the love is different. I become afraid that these different wavelengths will overpower what else I love about him and over time make us not work out. It makes me sad to know that I initially wasn’t into him because of this. When we do laugh together, it feels like it takes away all my anxiety. When we get back to different wavelengths, I panic like this. I know ill make the choice to stay, but I hope anyone found comfort in this discussion 💜
I have been with my partner for about a year and 4 months. My ocd symptoms started in February. Recently, my ocd is making me seem annoyed by everything my partner does… I have a bad problem with forming my opinion off of other random people instead of making my own, possibly fear of perception/upsetting people with an opinion so I have to follow like a sheep. This frustrates my partner. My ocd might latch onto a random dark humour joke he made or an opinion for example about social issues that is different to me where we have to agree to disagree and I end up going searching on mainly TikTok. If I see a comment where some people are against what my bf said I have to go and tell him and it’s almost every day my ocd manages to nitpick something. A lot of the time it’s me setting it off by asking his opinion or something where I can feel my ocd being like “let’s scan for things in this conversation to latch on to 😈” and starting a convo where something could trigger my ocd. He might be playing a video game and says things, for example if he’s shot in the game and gets a little bit annoyed. My ocd will instantly latch onto something. I try to hold it back but I ocd tells me I NEED to tell him off for it. If I bring something up while communicating and my boyfriend asks why I think something is bad, it usually always starts with “well I saw a tiktok/instagram comment-…” and my boyfriend stops me to tell me I’m going off a small group of people’s opinion and I need to be able To form my own opinion and it’s okay for me To have my own opinion. A lot of the time I can’t form an opinion because I’m scared what people think so I resort to looking at random peoples comments on posts. 😞 My ocd convinces me he’s a bad person because he has dark humour. Is all the need to confess my thoughts and tell him off ocd? Is the best thing to do sit with the uncomfortableness? Does anyone relate
I’ve been dealing with a terribly overwhelming bout of OCD for a few months now, possibly the worst I’ve ever had in my 12 years of having it; which is what led me here. I’ve always had doubts in my long term relationship, but none that have been quite this vicious, making me question my sense of safety with this sweet man who has ALWAYS made me feel safe and comfortable. It picks on every aspect of our relationship, and any moment it can to make me question if he’s actually secretly a bad person. This thing has a chokehold on me and it is so scary and debilitating, especially with it targeting something I care so deeply about. And now weeks into therapy, I almost feel that unpacking it is making me feel worse and my OCD is finding all sorts of new things to pick on. Any comforting words would be appreciated… I’m trying really hard to work through this.
I know this app is for ocd help but I genuinely need some help in my relationship or just some guidance. Does anyone know how to break down built up resentment ? And how to stop anger towards your partner, I’ll take any answer
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
