POCD

It's EXAUSTING!!

@mentalpatient The therapists would say, you dont know with 100% certainty and you have to be okay with that otherwise you’re just feeding into it.

@mentalpatient This is another experience of OCD. The fact you feel so bad by it being true especially even though you say you don’t doubt it plus you have been actively looking to deal with your thoughts. The OCD wants you to believe whatever it is to make yourself feel bad. Ppl KNOW if they like kids or not. You being constantly in your head (as we all do with OCD) is making you just believe theories and thoughts. It’s not you acting on impulse, or going with the flow, or not voice in the hewr as you do things. You’re not getting any information from the outside world only the chatter of you and OCD going back and forth. Every single person has the right and can question their reality everyday. Because literally you can it’ll be infinite. We have to stop going down that road. Because there’s infinite positive theories that you’re not. We just focus on the negative which is why OCD is a doubting disorder not inflated ego disorder

@JordTheNord What you mean hun? … I’m really interested in what you mean! ..

@mentalpatient Reread it. He explained it well.

@Nica I didn’t get the or not voice in the hewr as you do things .. and what does infinite mean?

@mentalpatient So when you do things, you’re not actively talking in your head (that word was meant to be head. I apologize). Example you’re opening the door and in the your mind you’re going “I’m opening the door, what is on the otherside, is this even a good door?”. When you don’t have so much chatter in your head it’ll just be you opening the door and the mind is quiet. We as OCD ppl talk so much in our head. Also, even if we prove with 50 facts you are not a pedo your mind can still be like “what if” and come up with all sorts of theories on why it can dismiss all the evidence proving you not. The questioning never ends. Which also means we technically can infinitely reassure ourselves and be positive about stuff. Most ppl that do that excessively on the positive side are considered arrogant and prideful because they heavily inflate themselves. We deflate ourselves. We can constantly question evidence. I can open my fridge see I have one pop In there and close the door and then proceed “well how do I really know? Am I being faulty? Did I count wrong? What if I misread it as a different item”. So let’s just say I check 10 more times and it’s still one pop in there I then can proceed as “well maybe I should check one more time? Maybe I’m just reassuring myself to feel better even though there’s not one pop in there”. Since these are all theories and thoughts (the mind is infinite in imagination) I literally can just question it all day everyday. I hope that makes a little more sense

@JordTheNord See I don’t question anything anymore my mind has reached I am a p and my only option is to die! Because no matter how much evidence there is , is to why I’m not a p my mind just stuck on that I am! And I’m terrified to end my life and leave my family if this was all ocd! I prefer the doubt I prefer the questions I had good and bad days but these days are convinced and can’t see anything else

@mentalpatient I’m sorry to hear of your pain. Do not end your life. Ppl Will miss you dearly. It is the OCD. Have you tried talking to a therapist?

@mentalpatient I get how you feel. Iv had ocd for a long and pocd. But when I first started getting pocd it took me like 2 years to even understand what was happening to me. I would try to read about it and I couldn’t believe this was part of ocd so I thought that I had no other choice. Because how does a mom live like this. And yes I still have it and I understand I’m not a bad person, but it literally makes you feel like you are and the what ifs are hard to deal with. But trying reading about it or some podcast.