Relationship ocd

I think I’m having relationship ocd. My mom made a comment about my boss potentially liking me… she came up with that idea because I tell her stories about how he treats me; which isn’t very nice. And so she thinks he probably acts like that to see how I react and for him to get my attention. I’m in a beautiful romantic relationship right now and my moms comment opened a door for me to be doubtful about my relationship with my boyfriend, and to second guess myself on wether I might have a crush on my boss… Even writing this all down doesn’t make sense. Someone please help. I don’t like this at all. I love my boyfriend and I wouldn’t do anything to ruin my relationship with him.

Relationship OCD

han9

Date posted: 2y

This rings true for me too at times. Ocd has such a nasty habit of making us second guess ourselves and lose trust in reality. Might i suggest you make a list and write down what you know to be true. Easier said than done but it helps to take control

No one knows

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I’ll try that! I really hate this feeling or doubt. I even have a feeling of guilt because I feel like I’m doing something wrong.

ROCDmensch

Date posted: 2y

With Rocd thoughts it's the same with all the other OCD themes. You deal with them the same way, by basically accepting them as a possibility, not giving them power. Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I have a crush on my boss, maybe not. I don't need to figure this out right now

No one knows

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@ROCDmensch Oof. Just reading that made my stomach turn. I appreciate the help

ROCDmensch

Date posted: 2y

@No one knows Yes, it's uncomfortable. We don't want to have feelings for others because it doesn't fit in our self image and our high moral expectations. That's also something to work on and question: your beliefs. Unconditional self acceptance is key in OCD recovery

No one knows

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@ROCDmensch Yea, my beliefs are that this is wrong. To even have thoughts like these. I love my boyfriend, and I don’t want to do or think of anything that can jeopardize my relationship with him.

ROCDmensch

Date posted: 2y

@No one knows Yes, that's were the problem begins. Is it really immoral to think or feel something you have no control over? And is it really realistic to go your whole life without even once seeing someone else and think "hey, that's an attractive person. Maybe I have a little crush on them." Are those expectations on yourself realistic expectations? Or is it maybe human to have those thoughts and feelings, happens to everyone, even in relationships that last for decades. OCD sufferes also have thought action fusion. They think their thoughts equal actions. So thinking of someone = cheating. But is it? Or is this again a non realistic expectation and black and white thinking that makes life hard for us and actually keep us from having a fulfilling life were we CHOOSE our partners everyday (or also not chose them/someone else, since we are free beings). Just some input from my side. I say that, because I had horrible cheating OCD last year and I would say I have mostly overcome it, and part of this recovery is due to me realizing that I cannot controll my feelings however I am still able to chose and that every possible outcome in my life is okay and I can deal with it.

ROCDmensch

Date posted: 2y

@No one knows I hope I did not overwhelm you with my message yesterday, as it was quite long and intense. I hope you are having a nice day!

No one knows

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@ROCDmensch Hi. Not at all. That was very helpful

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