Someone Who had/have TOCD

yesss, but I think I want to start. Mmmm no, I'm from Spain

are you in therapy?

@noaarios Yes about 6 weeks now. Have you had any therapy?

@noaarios And how's your anxiety level at this moment?

@Mike in PA That's cool!!. I'm in therapy but not for OCD, but I want to go with a psychiatrist.

@Mike in PA I don't know very well, I'm not anxious as such, rather worried and depressed, in those quite high terms.

What a good plan! It's relaxing to be reading while concentrating

@noaarios Yes it is! So what's the scariest thought to you at the moment?

@Mike in PA It's more than a thought, it's a feeling, it's strange but my left side seems to involuntarily identify with male pronouns.

@noaarios Interesting that it's noticeable to your left side. And if you accept the feeling, that it's real, what scares you most about it maybe being real?

@Mike in PA yes, It is strange. My fear is probably that I wish I was a boy at some point, but mainly my biggest fear is dysphoria.

@noaarios Do you get good grades in school? How do you feel when you make a mistake in something important, or mess up?

@noaarios Hope you don't mind all the questions. 🤗

@Mike in PA mmm no, in fact this is the second time I repeat, I never went for notes. And as for how I feel it depends on what it is, I'm not afraid of not being the typical perfect one, I'm afraid of losing my essence and my values. And don't worry I don't mind the questions :)

@noaarios And may I ask your name? 🙂

@noaarios (I wasn't a very good student in school either. 🤭) lol

@Mike in PA Noa, and yours?

@Mike in PA JAJAJ I relate

@noaarios Hi Noa, I'm Mike 🙂

@Mike in PA Nice to meet you Mike:)

I think no, I'm lost

@noaarios First, are you in a safe place? Free from danger?

@Mike in PA yes, on my home

@noaarios No pressure. I'm here for you

I'm scared of being bigender, and I talk with a bigender and he said that he also had a hard time accepting himself and well that worries me obviously, I don't want to wish I had masculine traits, I'm very bad, I don't know if it's OCD, if I'm literally repressing myself or I don't know.

@noaarios And I do have similar struggles. It's not my main theme at the moment, but one I'm recognizing and am concerned about. You're not alone. :-)

@Mike in PA I'm sorry you're going through similar things, this topic is one of the worst for me.

going out with my friends, imagining myself as a couple with the person I like, and right now above all thinking that I will get out of this.

@noaarios Yeah, I can tell you're tangled up right now. I'll be available here for you for 3 or 4 more hours until I fall asleep, so let's take our time together if you'd like.

@noaarios May I ask your age? Did you start school?

@Mike in PA Thank you so much. Yes, I like.

@Mike in PA I'm 17, and not yet, I start in 2 weeks

Do you have any siblings? Are both your parents in your life?

@Mike in PA No, I am an only child, and if I have my parents, they are together.

I don't know, I'm at a point where I don't even want to think about it, I don't know what I am, or what I have, or what I want, I can't see my past or now or my future clearly.

@noaarios I thought you might've gone to sleep. It's ok, I'll be here for you as long as you'd like.

@noaarios I may not have the answer, but I have room in my heart for you. I'll walk through this with you, if you would allow me to.

@Mike in PA I think you're right, I'll go to sleep, and thank you very much for everything, good night.

Thank you very much, I hope you are right and everything will be fine, good night.

@noaarios Good morning!

@noaarios Just thinking of you this morning, saying a prayer for you. Please write me anytime. :-)

@Mike in PA thank you!! And I'm sorry for not answering sooner, I didn't get the notification and I didn't enter the application.

@noaarios That's ok. Thanks for writing me today 😊

@noaarios You're in my thoughts and prayers, and my heart. 🙂