Starting to panic

Basically I’ve been seeing this guy for a while now and we’ve been taking it slow which I don’t care about at all, but last night I went out with my friends and we were heavily talking about him and me and what we were and how we don’t meet up everyday and it got to the point where I’m not starting to stress out. Me and him have talked about all of that together, we’ve talked about needed to see each other more and that we need to find the time but because we’re both so busy it’s kinda hard and we both live with our parents so it’s not easy. But basically I always thought his parents were a bit strict with where he goes and who he sees but last night my one friend who knows his family told me his parents are quite lax so now I’m a bit confused. I’ve always known he’s the nervous one, nervous about me meeting people because I’m his first proper relationship but I would like us to make the next step and idk if it’s okay for me to ask that. I’m also now incredibly worried my friends don’t like him, he’s a shy nervous guy who’s going through a lot and I don’t want to force him to do anything he’s uncomfortable with and I need to build up his tolerance. When he’s with me it’s the best feeling in the world, I love him insane amounts and I’ve told him that, which some people don’t think I should’ve done but I felt right in myself to say it and I wanted to I’m sick of doing things for other people, so when we’re together it feels so right, he just gets nervous to involve other people he’s a very private person. I’m just incredibly stress and overthinking right now and idk what to do, I feel wrong everything feels wrong. Like I shouldn’t be doing the things I am and shouldn’t be letting him do what he wants. Like I shouldn’t have told him I loved him or that I shouldn’t do this that and the next thing but it’s what I want to do. It’s what I want so can I not do that??

Relationship OCD

MissSocks01

Date posted: 1y

I get that at the moment when people close to you like to give you advice, and it’s triggering sometimes, but it’s up to you whether to take it. Sometimes the advice is really mean or unhelpful. If you feel strongly about loving this person then I don’t see why you can’t say it

ROCDmensch

Date posted: 1y

The best advice I can give is: don't seek validation or reassurance for relationships in others (friends, family). People have very different opinions on how a relationship should or shouldn't be. They might give you and interesting perspective but with OCD we are not able to set a boundary and say "hey, that's just your opinion. Not the universal truth". You don't have to take others opinions as your law. It's hard not to stress out, but I learned that I navigate my relationship mostly on my own and that I am able to do that. I don't have to ask for reassurance anymore with my friends. I know what I need. It seems like you have a very good feeling about him in general, that he treats you well and that you have a great time together. The doubts in you come from others opinions. You feel the need to satisfy everybody and forget your own needs. You want to be with him. So try it. It's a good thing :) don't let it be ruined by OCD or your friends. If the doubts are very strong try the maybe, maybe not method and just go for it!

stuckonathought

Date posted: 1y

@ROCDmensch That’s all I seem to do, I just ask and ask and ask people around if this is normal if this is okay what do I do does he like me is he lying all this sorta stuff trying to figure every little detail out because it’s been shoved down my throat for years that I have to know and that if he’s off even a little bit then I must leave him that he’s not worth my time. If I’m not his number one priority then I have to leave him and it’s causing me such trouble within my head because I don’t care. I don’t care if he’s busy, if he has hobbies and a life outside of us, if anything I’d be more worried if he didn’t! But because he can’t see me all the time and I can’t have him over everyone around me goes “it’s werid you barely see each other” but what people don’t see is is trying and people stopping that. Having to sneak around and find different places to meet up, not having the money or the time. But all their opinions feel like the only opinion I should have, I can’t trust my own. Even my love for him is now feeling like I can’t have that, people around me tell me it’s too soon, I feel it in my heart that I adore this man, but im not questioning everything. I’m worried if I talk about it I jinx it, im worried if he finds out I talk about him he’ll leave, im scared im overthinking and im overwhelmed.

armyvet

Date posted: 1y

Hey

Gmoki

Date posted: 22w

Relationship

I feel so bad I overthink abt everything my bf says and does. I think that if he doesn’t say x y z when I want reassurance then he must’ve stopped caring or is tired of me. I know it’s not the truth and he gives me NO reason to think this way. This is my first healthy relationship and I want to be in each others lives forever. I love him so much and I’m trying my hardest to manage these thoughts but I’m so anxious. It’s so draining I feel helpless and like I can’t go a day without checking his social medias. I want us to be the best versions of ourselves for eachother but idk where to start or how to manage this feeling.

cam123

Date posted: 22w

Stressing about my relationship

Me and my boyfriend have only been together for a short period of time....and he's head over heels for me...at least he says so. All the time I'm so scared he's going to break up with me or any time something is uncomfortable I shut down and think I did something or he's thinking about me in a negative way and I don't know how to stop it. He doesn't do anything to seem like he wants to break up with me, but any time he does something a little different then normal I immediately think of the worst. If he's being really quiet I'll be thinking *is he going to break up with me* *does he not want to be with me* *is he just hanging out with me right now because he wants a girlfriend to pass the time* all of that stuff. And honestly I'm so scared..... because what if my thoughts are true?

abreeclarey

Date posted: 19w

Overthinking this guy again…

Every time we go out together and it’s not just us it’s also our manager and her son and his (the guy I’m talking to) roommate. We went to church one time alone. But my thing is I keep overthinking “am I leading him on” I still don’t know what to feel just and I’ve never been in a relationship. When we see each other we hold hands and and hug but I don’t want to kiss just yet even though I get the feeling to because I want to take it very slow especially when. I’m constantly overthinking everything. We hang out and I’m having a good time and then I go home and overthink a lot. It’s worse when I’m overthinking when waking up. Has anyone else experienced this. Like we’re friends right now but does anyone think it’s to soon to be holding hands and hugging. We held hands the second time meeting because I’m aware I want to take things slow. When I see him I get happy. I keep seeking reassurance from my mom, sister and google (of course) and I keep seeing post that you shouldn’t lead someone on and you can’t force to like someone. I overthink and then I’m calm and the thoughts start again. I really don’t want to hurt this guy he is so sweet and caring

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