Just take one day at the time...

Hello everyone, I wanted to share something that for me felt like a step towards searching and finding healing on this OCD I suffer from. The day before yesterday after I got very disappointed and hurt both my mom and my husband (by very ugly things they said to me). I went to bed thinking: "I can't let myself to fall apart", it feels no one understands me, they don't take me seriously, they just ignore me (specially my husband), so I thought I will then trust in myself I will be more compassionate and kind to myself, for me and my daughter. So yesterday, when I woke up, every morning when I'm up, before I dare to touch my little toddler, I must wash my hands at least 7 times, so yesterday I did just 1. Almost immediately after it came to my mind that thought who always makes me doubt if I did or not something, if I did good or not, if I did it good enough or not, something like this: " have you washed your hands enough?" Theb I answered to myself inside my mind YES I HAVE! Then almost instantly another thought, "what IF you didn't do it good enough?" (Wash my hands) I again told to myself, OH YES! I DID IT ENOUGH, IF I DIDNT THEN, WE WILL SEE WHAT MAY HAPPEN. Almost immediately the anxiety reduced so much that I got like a sudden feeling of happiness and relief. I also didn't do all the rituals with cleaning before i can offer food to my daughter. Then I did something bigger I decided to go out and take a walk with my baby, even if very scared about dust and dirty streets because they are building something in my block so it looks not so nice, I also fear a lot the bird droppings since I read for 2 months ago there's bird influenza in many lasts in Europe including Sweden (where I live) but just in wild gulls, and other birds, so I'm very scared to walk close to those, it's hard not to do so. Still after all, I went out I didn't feel super good I could feel strange smells in the ambient, feeling threatened by possible contamination agents, but still ai stayed out longer than I expected, because my girl looked so happy. I even dare to pass by the daycare and talk to a teacher about taking my daughter there as soon as we make the application. It stills scares me to be close to people because I fear they will sneeze or cough on my face. Obviously I came home and took a shower and give one to my girl also. But I made it! 🎊🙏🏼🥺🥺👏👏✨️👍my husband didn't congratulate me anything, didn't recognize my effort, I felt very sad, I cried, but after all, I didn't care, because I'm doing this for me and my daughter. If some other people doesn't cheer up and congratulates me because they think it's absurd or stupid, I don't care, they don't know and clearly don't want to know or learn about contamination abd health concerns OCD. All the best for you all, specially for those beautiful and sweet people here who has been so kind to me🥺😍✨️👍😍❤️💖💕🩷😭

https://res.cloudinary.com/nocdcloud/image/upload/v1694183352/scaled_20230907_133238_cbmduj.jpg

https://res.cloudinary.com/nocdcloud/image/upload/v1694183352/scaled_20230907_133045_qwllpq.jpg

hen7

Date posted: 2y

Wow you did amazing today!! What a success! You are brave and strong and I’m happy to read you’re committed to taking good care of yourself and that you’re taking the road to recovery. I’m so sorry you feel so misunderstood by your husband and mom. The dismissive behaviour is not ok. Did they flat out refuse to learn anything about the disorder? Can you explain to them what it entails or ask them for what you need? (Like encouragement)

XPaulina

Date posted: 2y

Thank you so much for your incredibly kind and encouraging message! 💐💖🥺🙏🏼🙏🏼🫂It means the world to me. Your words of support and recognition truly brightened my day💗💖 I am grateful for your understanding and for acknowledging my efforts towards recovery. Your empathy and compassion are truly inspiring. As for my husband and mom, I have tried explaining to them what OCD entails and the support I need, but it's been challenging. Your validation and encouragement mean a lot to me. Thank you again for your kindness and for being a part of this supportive community! All the best for you always ❤️

XPaulina

Date posted: 2y

Somehow I couldn't tag you, the first answer I wrote it's for you hen7. 🙏🏼❤️💖💗🫂

hen7

Date posted: 2y

@XPaulina So sorry to hear that your efforts to explain and connect went unanswered. I know how hard it is when people just don’t (want to) understand. Keep sharing your successes with us, here. We get it. Also don’t forget to write down your successes for yourself, no matter how small, so you don’t forget how far you’ve come. ❤️

XPaulina

Date posted: 2y

@hen7 Dear Hen7, Thank you so much for your incredibly kind and supportive message! Your words truly touched my heart. It means a lot to me to know that there are understanding and empathetic individuals like you in this community. Your acknowledgment of the challenges I face when trying to explain and connect with others who may not understand is so validating. I appreciate your encouragement to keep sharing my successes here, where I feel understood and supported. Your reminder to write down my successes, no matter how small, is incredibly valuable. It's important to reflect on how far I've come and celebrate my progress. Thank you again for your kindness, understanding, and for being a part of this wonderful community❤️💐🫂💖 I have no enough thanks for your very kind words, ALL THE BEST FOR YOU ALWAYS 💐 🙏🏼

hen7

Date posted: 2y

@XPaulina Thanks so much for the well wishes. Glad to hear the posts helped. All the best for you too!! ❤️❤️❤️

[Deleted]

Date posted: 2y

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XPaulina

Date posted: 2y

Thank you so much Anoniem🫂🙏🏼

JordTheNord

Date posted: 2y

That’s so amazing to hear! You did hella great work! So awesome you found strength in yourself and to find strength for your daughter. She’s lucky to have you being so brave and overcoming your obstacles for her. Sorry to hear your accomplishments aren’t being recognized and you’re misunderstood. That’s not very unfortunate for anyone to deal with. As hard as it is keep doing YOU.

XPaulina

Date posted: 2y

@JordTheNord: Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your incredibly supportive and uplifting message! Your words of encouragement mean so much to me. It's truly amazing to receive such kindness and understanding. I appreciate your recognition of the strength I found within myself, especially for the sake of my daughter. Your words remind me that I'm not alone in this journey. It's disheartening that my accomplishments may go unrecognized and that I face misunderstandings, but your unwavering support gives me the strength to keep pushing forward. I'm deeply grateful for your presence and wisdom. Thank you for being a shining light in this community! 👏🙏🏼🫂💗💖🥺💐🩷

anaa

Date posted: 2y

Proud of you dear! You did a great job today. Even the smallest steps can make a big difference eventually. Don't get disappointed if your husband or family don't undertsand you. We know how hard it is, even to take smaller steps. I really appreciate you for doing so. Keep it up🤗

XPaulina

Date posted: 2y

My dear Anaa🩷💐💖💗🫂 thank you so much dear, you're such a sweetheart, I was longing to hear from you, thank you for coming here to leave such a lovely comment, full of love, kindness and understanding 😊 ❤️ thank you for encouraging me to keep it up. All the best for you always my dear 😘 ❤️

anaa

Date posted: 2y

@XPaulina You welcome dear😊

XPaulina

Date posted: 2y

@anaa Thank you again dear Anaa😊😊

Hobbit

Date posted: 2y

Yes!!! That is so hard — no easy feat! Way to be fierce!! 💪🎉💗

XPaulina

Date posted: 2y

Thank you so much Hobbit 💓 💗 💛 💖 ☺️ you're right I agree with you!

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