Does anyone have thoughts they’ve cheated on their significant other but have no thought of names or anything it could be or have any type of proof? I mess up and go back and reassure myself and look at past pictures and stuff to make myself feel better and prove I haven’t but it don’t help
All the time i feel like everytime i get drunk or can’t remember something i have cheated on my girlfriend because it attacks your morals
@TDR 17 How do you deal with it?
@TDR 17 I’m having trouble dealing with it and don’t know what to do
@Anonymous For the past week I struggled a lot ruminating every hour everyday to the point i nearly convinced myself i did cheat, i was getting reassurance from everyone i know, to weather they saw anything and it only made it worse, when it got to my breaking point i luckily had a therapy session and my therapist told me to accept the uncertainty and try and carry on with life, by saying maybe to things, or saying u did do it to yourself to make yourself more calm with the situation that it is, but its very hard to accept the uncertainty because my girlfriend is my world i love her from the bottom of my heart and losing her would be the end of my life, but u also have to think that its not the end if this comes true everything is meant to happen for a reason and u will move on
@TDR 17 I’m getting married in 36 days and I don’t know how to talk to my fiancé about it cause I don’t want her thinking I have cheated on her or something when I know I haven’t but the uncertainty is there that I have so I’m stuck
@Anonymous Does your fiancé know that u have OCD?
@TDR 17 Yes she does and I have PTSD from my past and I’ve been cheated on and I wanted to get back at my past but I never went through with anything so I don’t know if that’s what’s triggering it cause of my past or what
@Anonymous What so u think u have cheated on her or the other way round?
@TDR 17 That I cheated on her and that’s the problem is accepting that it may have happened but I know for a fact it didn’t but the OCD is trying to eat at me and tell me it did
@Anonymous Thats where u have to reply to saying that u know u didnt to maybe u did so your mind can leave it alone, if u say no i didnt, OCD can reply with a what if question, same as if u said u did it, if u say maybe and play the situation out, OCD cant say what if to maybe it cant really say much so sit in the guilt and shame and just say maybe its the middle way its the best way to deal with it
@TDR 17 I know u have your wedding coming up and this probably is what triggered it
@TDR 17 So after the wedding you think it will go away?
@Anonymous I cant promise u anything, it might get better it might get worse, u are about to make a massive commitment in life and your OCD is doing everything it can to try and ruin that it latches on to good things, i feel like u need to try saying maybe to deal with this as it will still stay most likely during and after the wedding, and u obviously want to enjoy your wedding without worrying about this
@TDR 17 It’s doing everything it can’t to destroy me and not let me be happy. It had my fiancé concerned that I did something but I’ve told her I have no proof of anything or any memory of anything
@Anonymous I think u need to stop getting reassurance and try and handle it by yourself by saying maybe dont let this ruin your relationship
@TDR 17 You’re exactly right. Thank you. My relationship is going to be okay
I think u might just have to try and accept that maybe it did happen maybe it didnt and leave it at that
Hello, I am struggling with these thoughts, too. Can anyone help how to accept it? I just can not accept this. It feels so horrible. I was drunk and it always happens being around a tone of people, talking with everyone and then the next days the thoughts start. I even think I got triggered on that evening
I suffer with a constant worry of what if I’ve cheated. You name it I’ve thought I’ve done it. I’m quite flirty at nature and also insecure. Sometimes hand in hand I don’t think they balance each other out as the constant need for attention to validate myself can backfire. Although I have the best partner ever and she makes me feel nothing less than beautiful I still crave validation from others. That being said someone I used to work with left over half a year ago and when they worked at my current place of work we were very close. Text everyday, phone calls you name it. However looking back I was extra flirty as I wanted him to fancy me. I wanted the power to turn him down to make myself feel better. Awful I know. Now all I can think about is what if I’ve done something. What if I kissed him. What if I’ve slept with him etc. I’ve kept our whole conversations from the minute I got his personal number. I constantly search key words to see if my intrusive thoughts are real. I can except the uncertainty my therapist tells me about as if I have done the worst and cheated I would loose my partner and our 10 year relationship. I love her so much she is my life but I can’t stop thinking what if I’ve cheated. Does anyone else suffer with the same theme? If so how do you cope?
I have this deep fear I’ll accidentally cheat on my long term partner. This fear was initially triggered a couple years ago after being at a bar with my friends where I enjoyed the attention of being flirted with by a stranger. Because of my enjoyment of receiving verbal attention, I began spiraling about what if I accidentally cheat. Since then I have made multiple confessions to my partner to seek reassurance, replayed events over and over in my head, spent hours googling/looking at reddit threads, and now I dread “bar like” situations where I know my partner won’t be around. Today I was triggered and have wasted about 4-5 hours of my day ruminating. Does anyone else with relationship ocd struggle with this fear and have any tips?
Hey everyone I know I’ve mentioned this before but, I wanted to share again just in case if anyone new sees this. I deal with cheating ocd really bad, like I always have thoughts about the past and such and get worried about things. I know my morals and values and I know id never ever cheat, but my mind always loves to play the “What if” game. It really sucks. My boyfriend is the sweetest and a god sent to me and he is always there for me but ugh this ocd dealing with cheating and false memory/real events kills me, anyone else relate? I dont know how to put up with it anymore, Just today I remembered I had an old twitter account which is now X, but I remembered I deleted my account a long long time ago but ugh I used to be on twitter so much awhile ago and my ocd acted up and was like “You better go check to make sure you didn’t do anything.” And I remembered I sat with myself and said “I know my morals I would never do that to him.” And then my ocd was like “Are you sure? What if you did?” Etc and my anxiety is now so bad about it now :(
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
