Worried that I like someone while with my bf.

I've been struggling recently, pretty bad. I've been taking my medicine so idk if it's just my actual thoughts or if it's just my ocd but im worried that I like someone while i'm with my amazing boyfriend. I always worry about liking people but it all got so much worse after I had a se*ual dream about them. And I know you can't control your dreams but after that dream I had a shift with them yesterday and like idk all i could focus on was worrying if i liked them or having thoughts about how i would like them because of a way they would talk or something. And like the feelings i've gotten around them feels so wrong. I just need to know if i'm doing the wrong thing. I really need reassurance.

JordTheNord

Date posted: 1y

All ppl can catch feelings of someone else even with an amazing significant other that you clearly love as do others with theirs. Dreams do make it feel weird. However it doesn’t mean they MEAN anything. You even said it yourself you are focused on the thoughts of liking them when it’s ok and normal to catch feelings of someone. Also, you even said you’re focused on liking ppl (worried about it). This is going to amp up your anxiety and you’re giving meaning to things that go against a core belief of yours but this happens to ppl even in great relationships. Feelings are feelings and thoughts are thoughts. Doesn’t mean you need to pursue them both thought and feeling. The fact you’re this worried shows you’re very loyal and don’t even wanting this happen in the first place but even though you feel this way doesn’t mean you’re a cheater or disloyal or love your bf any less. Now that was the reassurance to hope bring some peace to you. If you’re struggling with OCD we can’t always give into reassurance (the compulsion) as it doesn’t help us because well always be “what if”. So next time you feel like this and need reassurance take a pause and don’t act on the compulsion. Give it some time. Set a goal to lengthen times you need to ask for reassurance. Let’s say you do it almost everywhere hour. Well space that out by 4 hours and so on and so forth. As we don’t give into the compulsions the feelings and thought settle down immensely. Baby steps. You got this!

c.dence0.0

Date posted: 1y

@JordTheNord Thank you so much. This very much helps me out a lot.

JordTheNord

Date posted: 1y

@School123 My pleasure. I went through the same and knew other ppl that did too! You are not alone and you can do this

c.dence0.0

Date posted: 1y

@JordTheNord You have no idea how relived i am that i'm not alone, although i'm sad other people have to deal with it. But it consumes me and it makes me just feel so guilty and it is so hard to block out the demons

JordTheNord

Date posted: 1y

@School123 It is hard! I had to ask so many sources if it was ok. Basically everyone told me it was from studies of humans/sociology/psychology professional therapists and just day to day ppl. It took some time to accept but it is understood that it’s a natural phenomenon. It’s our emotions and we are allowed to connect with ppl doesn’t mean we have to pursue anything with them or leave our current significant other. Just nice to know they are out there. Also, let’s say you leave your current bf for this guy. It’s super highly you’ll eventually run into the same thing with someone else and we don’t trade ppl in like cars.

misereri

Date posted: 25w

Read please, it's important for me.

Background: I'm 17 about to be 18. I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S( which I now cut contact with) months and months ago, I came clean to my boyfriend and he forgave me but that's when this all started. I'm not diagnosed with Ocd yet but jm seeing a local counselor. Now: In the past months I've been having thoughts like " what if I love S" "What if my boyfriend is just a friend to me" "I'd rather S did that * insert sexual thing or normal romantic thing*" " S wouldn't do that" "What if I secretly love S" "I love S" and I kept imagining scenarios with S to test how I'd react physically. These thoughts are there everyday for me 24/7, some days it's worse some it's better but I cry about them everyday because they build up and I just explode. I don't want to have them but they get worse and worse with time and I'm scared they reflect some kind of truth because of my past. I finished to have a crisis now, lasted at least 1 hour and I cried my heart out, my mind was like " I dont want anyone else to touch me like my boyfriend does" but then it said back " I love S" " I want S to do that" ecc ecc, got so bad I need to refocus during sex and I need to see my boyfriends face to be sure it's him because I'm scared S is gonna come into my mind and I'm gonna get turned on for him thing that scares me to death. I had the same with pedo like thoughts, for a while I had to avoid children because I was convinced I was a pedo. This comes and goes but the theme it's most in my mind it's this S theme around my relationship. I love my boyfriend and I don't want any of this, can someone please suggest me what to do?

Anonymous

Date posted: 24w

feeling like the relationship is tainted

i’m anxious because after my boyfriend and i got in a argument i was “daydreaming” or thinking about what it would be like dating someone else who was more “right for me” and what if i was excited about that possibility like i had already moved on from my boyfriend. but when i really think about it i don’t want to be without him and don’t want to picture us breaking up. i know i love him but those other thoughts scared me and im now questioning if they mean im falling out of love with him. and if that’s the case i feel like i need to confess that. but at the same time these thoughts could be ocd because the “daydreaming” started after we had been getting in arguments a lot and then i kept seeing other couples interact online and i compare my relationship to that. but then when i think about my own relationship i have everything i want and am being treated how i want to be treated. i’m just scared that because i have had those thoughts about being with someone else that i need to break up him because our relationship is tainted now and i need to start over and do everything perfectly. i think these thoughts are triggered my us fighting and him not fully understanding my rocd and me looking at relationships where the boyfriend understands the girlfriends ocd and supports her and wanting my relationship to me more like that. which logically i know doesn’t mean we have to break up and i need to start over. i can just bring up this issue and communicate what i want and how i want to be supported. i just feel like i need to confess all these thoughts and that i “daydreamed” about being with someone else (no one in particular) and how im now focused on his flaws in comparison to couples online.

Relationship OCD

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 21w

Having a panic attack, I could use some insight

any help is really welcomed and appreciated. I tend to hyper fixate on men outside of my relationship, they feel like crushes but I’m like 60% sure they’re meaningless dopamine rushes that happen with people I find interesting, friendship worthy, or physically appealing in some way. My hyperfixation recently shifted to a supervisor, not even an hour after meeting him :/ that’s fine, whatever, I can’t do much about it. I daydream and create like this drama romance in my head. Like good content for a movie or a book. Comparing it to that makes me feel less disloyal, and more understanding of why this might happen (I am a hopeless romantic, I adore stories). I’m home now and I was thinking of wearing a cuter shirt for work tomorrow because I went in an oversized hoodie today. This is a thought I had this morning before even meeting this man btw. But then my brain went to oh yeah I want to look attractive for this hyper fixation. It felt exciting to think that. I felt excited. Then the huge wave of dread hit me. I wanted to look good for another man? For a specific person? I can’t stop panicking I don’t know if this is normal, disloyal, a distortion, or what it is. I’m so confused. I felt happy when I got that thought. Maybe it was a dopamine hit or something I’m Colombian and we’re really big on looking our best 99.9% of the time. Even if it’s just to go to the gas station. I just feel so scared that I felt excitement over this one person. It’s extremely different for my boyfriend’s culture. Almost the opposite. I feel so disloyal and unworthy of my boyfriend. I doubt this was intrusive, it genuinely felt like me and I’ve had thoughts like that in the past. I just feel like a huge monster right now Please help :(

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Worried that I like someone while with my bf.

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community