ERP help as therapist is away

I’m really struggling to know if I’m doing ERP right. My therapist is away for 2 weeks and I’ve been given homework. However I suffer with POCD & I’m not sure what it is I should be ‘sitting with’ as I don’t really have an initial intrusive thought. They’re immediate groinal/whole body responses and severe anxiety - there’s no sentence in my head initially. It’s just general panic then my brain starts to study the child & what it is I find ‘appealing’ about them. I’ve had a few successful ish days and then today it’s making me think it’s not OCD at all and it’s actually me attracted to children but trying to convince myself I’m not.

POCD

Danny_099

Date posted: 1y

I think it would be applied to the checking thoughts that come in after the physical reaction, for example the “am I actually attracted to that child” that would be answered with a “maybe, maybe not” and then typically my therapist would have me move forward with whatever task at hand had been interrupted by the thought/feeling, and as for sitting with it, it can mean sitting with the feeling and not giving in to the checking behavior, just letting yourself feel uncomfortable as you move on from the moment to whatever task is at hand now. I hope that makes sense and helps! I have POCD too and these steps help me so much and it is not nearly as scary to do them as it used to be, it does get better from here!

Yeahyacan

Date posted: 1y

@Danny_099 Thank you for replying! Sometimes the checking thoughts take a while to come in and it’s completely panic of sentences to myself of ‘you find them attractive’ ‘you find them sexual’ that sort of thing - but they don’t come initially either. They can take a while for my brain to let them in. It’s very bizarre and confusing. Is trying to work out why I feel this way (so I don’t meab trying to make myself feel better & convince myself I’m not a P - that comes later) but as in wondering if I felt this way because the child has blue eyes or blond hair etc classed as ruminating or an intrusive thought?! Because my compulsion is ruminating i find it hard to know where the barrier lies sometimes and it completely frazzles my brain!

Danny_099

Date posted: 1y

@Harbiere39 Yes I get that way sometimes too, sort of like delayed reactions, sometimes I can do really well in the moment of panic and then hours later when I relax all the “ok but -“ thoughts come rushing in, I think they could count as rumination, and sometimes the lines are really hard to draw, so sometimes I have to just let them be a part of the uncertainty, like I don’t know if this is exactly classified as an “x” or “y” thought/behavior and that’s okay, I can still let it be there and move on with my day, if that makes sense :) it is for sure harder said than done but we can do hard things!

Yeahyacan

Date posted: 1y

@Danny_099 That’s a good way to look at it actually, I don’t necessarily need to know if it’s ruminating or the intrusive thought as long as I don’t dwell on it too long and let it ruin my day… Thank you!

Danny_099

Date posted: 1y

@Harbiere39 Of course! I’m happy I could help :)

Yeahyacan

Date posted: 1y

So what I mean is - I don’t know what I’m meant to be replying ‘maybe maybe not to’

💟

Date posted: 19w

therapy

it feels like therapy isn't working at all, like I've been super reluctant to participate or try and get better. I was doing really well at first but I've been in a slump with it lately, and the idea of doing exposures again makes me really scared. Like, I know if have to do them to get better but I'm so afraid that I'll pick something, watch it, and think the child character is attractive and start fantasizing about them. Like what if the only thing keeping me from doing that is because I've been avoiding them? Also is it normal for pocd to convince you that you prefer one gender more strongly than the other? Bc for some reason it feels more real with boys than it does girls (I'm mostly straight) and like.. idk I'm just not feeling good.

POCD

1meow$$$A

Date posted: 16w

Solo ERP for POCD

I am doing ERP by my own because I can’t afford therapy. I exposed myself to babies photos online, changing diapers videos, baby genitalia . All was done with google . I honestly feel like I am predator by viewing these photos even though they are just babies. I seen also a picture on research article of a female patient she is a minor and they have done sexual abuse check on her . The image was so triggering, it was literally a vagina. ℹ developed lots if obsessions with increased groinal responses. And now I fear that I enjoyed all what I have seen.

Monkeybrain842

Date posted: 13w

How does one activl 'practice' exposure therapy ?

One problem - Various themes This is my first post. I had a relapse a few months ago. Life was amazing and then boom, I got triggered by something and started spiralling about my sexuality (having finally been at peace for two years, entered a healthy new relationship and come out of the closet as an older women). How do you, when you're not triggered practice ERP? I'm able to try and accept the thoughts every time I see a man. What should I be doing when I don't encounter these triggers. I was to say as well that I also am starting to get real event OCD about some of the sexual things I did in the past when I was married and in an unhealthy toxic relationship with my ex husband. I am shamed and disgusted and I'm working on it but there's a certain subsection of the LGBTQ community that trigger these thoughts, groinals and thing for me... I feel like I'm beginning to realise I need to maybe be a little more active in my recovery instead of waiting for triggers... But I don't know how

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ERP help as therapist is away

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