Does anyone else feel unworthy of being happy?

Or feel like if they allow themselves to recover from OCD then bad things will happen? Any answers or feedback will be greatly apprecaited So I ask this question as I have struggled really bad with OCD for almost 4 years now. So bad that I haven't worked in that time and I have spent all of my savings as I have had to live off it. I am 36 now and up until 4 years ago I had always worked and had a nice amount of money saved for a house deposit. The really frustrating thing is that I feel that I know exactly what it is I need to start doing in order to get a grip of my mental health and this horrific OCD but because I don't feel worthy of being happy and free of ocd and because I've told myself that if I do then something really bad will happen it stops me from allowing myself to get better. I've had over 150 hours of councelling in the past few years aswell as some ERP but because but because off these feelings I can't seem to get better

Username: Bruddaman16Bruddaman16

Date posted: 1y ago

I feel y’all too. But that’s just another way of OCD trying to control you. But the key is learning to accept the uncertainty. Of course deep down you have a rational idea that these rituals have no actual effect on anything in life, but you can never truly know. That is okay. Decide to accept that you cannot waste your time and energy on these rituals anymore and whatever will happen will happen. It’s a harsh truth but necessary to accept. I wish y’all the very best

Username: Joe87Joe87

Date posted: 1y ago

Thanks man can I ask whereabouts you are with your recovery?

Username: rachberriesrachberries

Date posted: 1y ago

I feel the same way sometimes. I know the things I can do to help recover, but I still have that OCD voice in my head with all of the "what ifs" that come with recovery. I am scared to see what life will be like without my routines/ rituals. Who will I be without them? You aren't alone. I hope you can heal.🤍

Username: Joe87Joe87

Date posted: 1y ago

Thanks and you

Username: Joe87Joe87

Date posted: 1y ago

Thanks for your reply I hope you can heal also. Can I ask what things it is that you think you can do in order to start recovering?

Username: Bruddaman16Bruddaman16

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m pretty far into my recovery like I’ve gone through therapy and been able to manage it on my own for over a year now. However this does not mean OCD doesn’t still come up in my life. It does literally every day but I’ve been doing my best to just accept that it’s there and keep going about my day. Its a very difficult thing to do but very doable. I believe in everyone here.

Username: Bruddaman16Bruddaman16

Date posted: 1y ago

Do what you can to take care of yourself and if ur really constantly struggling w OCD the important thing is to get treatment and support from whoever and whatever u can. Learn strategies to deal w the illness. ERP, CBT, ACT are all popular forms of therapy/treatment of OCD even just look up some YouTube videos and stuff about these and try to apply them to your life. Also mindfulness is a huge helper for me too just purposely being present and letting your thoughts come and go without any judgment.

Username: Bruddaman16Bruddaman16

Date posted: 1y ago

Those are some things that have helped me on my journey and I would recommend but everyone’s differnt

Username: Joe87Joe87

Date posted: 1y ago

Thanks for your replies I feel like the main problem I have is wanting or expecting my OCD to have gone away before I go back to work and back to the things that I used to enjoy in life but im beginning to feel that this is never going to hapoen and that if I'm going to recover then I am going to have to go back to work and back to my hobbies as I am and see that as part of my recovery

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 4y ago

Hi guys, I've been suffering with POCD for quite a while now. Because I reached a point where I was ready to commit suicide due to the continuous stress, shame, guilt and (self)disgust caused by my OCD, I have recently decided to start therapy. I'm happy with this decision as I want to learn how to cope with my thoughts in a healthy, effective way. However, there is one thing that slows me down. There is always this thought/question running through my mind that makes me doubt more than anything about my values: 'do I actually want to recover from OCD?'. Whenever I ask myself this question and answer with 'yes, of course, there is no doubt in that!' I get a really strong feeling of me lying to myself and/or being in denial about whether I want these thoughts or not. I know it sounds confusing, and I apologise for that, but why do I feel that I don't want to recover from this bad, unhealthy state full with terrible thoughts, urges and sensations?! I would really like to know your opinions. Thank you so much for reading this. And I apologise if it's confusing. Take care x

POCD

Username: you.are.enough

Date posted: 3y ago

When I look at pictures of myself, I see a young woman who deserves a fulfilling life that is not dictated by OCD and anxiety. I feel sad that so much of my time, my energy, and my choices have been consumed by OCD. I spend so much time in my head, ruminating and worrying and trying so damn hard to figure out that one thing that my OCD urgently presses me to solve. Sometimes I don't enjoy things that I want to because I'm overwhelmed with my compulsions. I've struggled with this for years, and lately OCD has been telling me that the struggle will never end--that I'll never feel in control of my life. I know that this isn't true, but I'm so scared that it could be. My faith doesn't feel bigger than my fear right now. How do I change that? I don't want to live like this anymore. As I'm writing this, my OCD is telling me that I'm incapable of recovery, but I know I can recover. I deserve to recover. I'm in therapy with an OCD specialist outside of this app and I'm going to increase the frequency of my sessions from once a month to once a week because I deserve an amazing, fulfilling life. And to whoever is reading this, you do, too.

Relationship OCD

Username: Thunder_cloud

Date posted: 1y ago

OCD recovery- mixed emotions

So I’ve been getting treatment for about 3 months now and it’s been slowly starting to work I think and days are slowly getting easier. There are still plenty of bad days and days where I just feel completely defeated but I’m gradually learning how to deal with these emotions. Part of me is really relieved and excited as OCD was absolutely awful and the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. It held me back from so many things and I felt so trapped and I never imagined I’d be in so much agonising discomfort everyday. However part of me is also really uneasy as OCD is what I’ve known for so many years and I don’t know life without it. It’s almost unsettling integrating back into the ‘normal’ way of life as part of me doesn’t know where to start and I feel like I lack foundation if that makes sense as I have been unable to do so much for so long. I’m also finishing school soon which makes things even harder as I don’t know what comes next, or who or what I’ll become and do with my life. I guess my question is, is life beyond OCD worth it and is it worth climbing out of this hell hole? I also know that I’ll probably always have OCD and there may always be bad days but it’s just becoming less disabling and time consuming which is so exciting but sort of terrifying at the same time. I also am worried that I’ll live a boring and miserable life because at least dealing with OCD left me with something and made life more interesting, much more painful but It almost became my identity. But I guess there has to be something more beyond this life I’m living. Sorry this is long.

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Does anyone else feel unworthy of being happy?

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