I feel like i cheated on my partner

i saw someone triggers me A LOT. Looking at beautiful looking people has always triggered me. I feel horrible and i feel like i cheated. Finding someone handsome in a relationship is not normal to me i don't know i feel horrible and i feel like i cheated. I didn't feel attracted, but i feel like i cheated so much i hate myself i hate my eyes thats wht i don't look at anyone. I hate looking at people and finding someone beautiful. I feel so guilty. Please help me im begging i need to talk someone. I had this in past, i hate that when that happens. I DON'T want to find anyone good looking. I DON'T want to anyone come to my mind except my partner. I won't act on that thoughts but i feel like im betraying my partner anyway

Relationship OCD

Username: izzzaeyizzzaey

Date posted: 1y ago

this is probably not going to make you feel better but being a human means you will find some people attractive other than your partner, but that doesn't mean you love your partner any less. ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years and ive found other guys attractive throughout the years and im sure he's found other women attractive. does that mean we cheated? no. it means we are human and we can acknowledge to ourselves that another person is attractive while also respecting our partner. if it were my choice, I would also make it so I only find my boyfriend attractive. but that's just not how that works. you are normal and human! maybe you should try talking to your partner about how you feel

Username: walkingocdwalkingocd

Date posted: 1y ago

I can't.. im scared. I feel guilty even when i talk with my partner, im scared of upsetting him

Username: izzzaeyizzzaey

Date posted: 1y ago

@walkingocd if he's a good partner, he will be able to sympathize with you and comfort you because you are clearly distressed about this whole situation.

Username: HenryMP27HenryMP27

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

If you wish to get better, you need to work on your exposures. And with exposures I mean making a gallery of really hot men that you find attractive and write down any kind of crazy fantasies you may have. And then, recording yourself reading them. Then listen to them a couple times a week. You can even indulge in self-pleasure while you listen to these recordings. Does this sound like an absolute nightmare? If the answer is yes, then I can promise you that it will work. Does it sound way too hard? Then start with something simpler. Ruminating and feeling guilty about your intrusive thoughts without doing any proper exposures will just prolong your suffering. The more you try to compulsively suppress your desires, the worse you will feel. I promise you that! So... Please don't! May you be happy! 🫶

Username: walkingocdwalkingocd

Date posted: 1y ago

Hell nah i can't do that im sorry.. it sounds scary more than anything

Username: HenryMP27HenryMP27

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@walkingocd I completely understand! It's difficult, but it's part of the process. Without doing the necessary exposures, your pain will only be prolonged. I dealt with OCD for 7 years, and I managed to get better by doing the work. It was hell, but the peace that I feel right now made it 100% worth it.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Your partner likely finds others attractive. Ask them

Username: TT2022

Date posted: 1y ago

ROCD? Cheating OCD?

Is it normal to find someone else attractive. When I get this thought or feeling.. whatever it is.. I feel as though I’m about to act on something. Or I guess my fear is that I WANT to act on something even though I know I don’t want to because I love my partner and family and I don’t want to jeopardize it. But I still get this urge when I find someone attractive and so my best idea is to avoid them. Does this happen to anyone else in a long term relationship/married? It makes me feel horrible and I hate having to confess this.

Username: getbetter33

Date posted: 47w ago

pls help

feeling guilty for wanting other men to find me attractive or hot. im disgusted in myself for wanting it or for maybe acting in a way that was provocative when im in a relationship. i love my boyfriend and would never cheat on him. but why does my head get filled with thoughts and wants about ither men. i’m beating myself up over this. can anyone share some insight??

Username: cam!

Date posted: 34w ago

I need advice

I've been dating my girlfriend for 4 months now. I know that I want to be with her and that no one else compares. We are currently doing long distance but will be together in a couple of months. I have multiple intrusive thoughts about finding others attractive or liking the attention other give me. At first I was okay with this because I knew that that i wasn't going to pursue anyone over these feelings. A classmate of mine, began sitting with me at lunch and everytime we talk I get thoughts. Comparing my partner to her or admiring her. Yesterday, they were constantly appearing. I wanted to run away from her because of all the thoughts I was having. I felt pretty sick and then thought of a moment where I "flirted" with her. I began to feel guilty even though I knew that I have absolutely no intentions of being with this person whatsoever. But I continued to think about this moment, I said I'd never do something like that again and moved on. But in the afternoon on the way to the store with my mom, I was looking out the car window. Im not sure why, but a part of me feels like I was doing it because I was curious of what attractive people I would see. Then this guy drives past and gives look of checking us out. I gave that look back. But I immediately felt guilt because I flirted back. And it felt like I was looking for people to pursue. I know that I do not want to cheat or betray my girlfriend, but in that moment I felt like that way the reason for me looking out the window. I'm not sure what to do.

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I feel like i cheated on my partner

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