Does anyone else obsess about sexual frequency and google “average sexual frequency of couples” and then obsess that being lower than average is an indication of “living a lie” or being “gay”?

I am actually a virgin and have never been in a relationship. I have seen all the evidence around me that my status is not normal for many and it has led me to think that makes me a lesbian and that I’ve been lying to myself. Which is crazy since I have only had crushes on guys and am simply scared they’re lying and don’t actually like me, which is the reason for never being in a relationship: I’m scared. Which then causes me to create false memories of attraction, like looking back and knowing I thought a woman was beautiful and cool and I admired her, but now my intrusive thoughts tell me that’s a lie and I was actually attracted to them and was a lesbian all along. It’s crazy and confusing but you’re not alone.

I’m actually almost the same as Mae, I’m not necessarily scared of being in a relationship I just fear that they don’t actually like me. Then I doubt liking them, and second guess myself. I have a crush on this boy and my ocd is doubting that I have a crush, I know I want to date him but my mind is very tricky and confuses me. I don’t want to be a lesbian, and I don’t want to date girls so I’m not that way. I’m trying to stay positive because if I don’t want to be something I don’t have to be it. If I don’t desire to be with a girl then I don’t like girls. If I’ve only had crushes on guys then I like guys not girls. I know it’s not going to be easy for my brain to get, but I know what I am, and maybe sometimes I’ll feel like I don’t know who I am but that’s just ocd doing it’s thing. :)

Yeah it is, it feels veryyy real sometimes. Like I’ll be driving home from somewhere and I feel like I’m genuinely confused about my sexuality. I just want to know but I know that I’ll never know for sure. I have to except uncertainty! That’s the only way I’ll get better

I get all of that Afazz! It’s just so crazy when your at war with your own brain!

Thanks for sharing Mae. It sounds like you’re going through basically the same experience.