- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I am actually a virgin and have never been in a relationship. I have seen all the evidence around me that my status is not normal for many and it has led me to think that makes me a lesbian and that I’ve been lying to myself. Which is crazy since I have only had crushes on guys and am simply scared they’re lying and don’t actually like me, which is the reason for never being in a relationship: I’m scared. Which then causes me to create false memories of attraction, like looking back and knowing I thought a woman was beautiful and cool and I admired her, but now my intrusive thoughts tell me that’s a lie and I was actually attracted to them and was a lesbian all along. It’s crazy and confusing but you’re not alone.
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m actually almost the same as Mae, I’m not necessarily scared of being in a relationship I just fear that they don’t actually like me. Then I doubt liking them, and second guess myself. I have a crush on this boy and my ocd is doubting that I have a crush, I know I want to date him but my mind is very tricky and confuses me. I don’t want to be a lesbian, and I don’t want to date girls so I’m not that way. I’m trying to stay positive because if I don’t want to be something I don’t have to be it. If I don’t desire to be with a girl then I don’t like girls. If I’ve only had crushes on guys then I like guys not girls. I know it’s not going to be easy for my brain to get, but I know what I am, and maybe sometimes I’ll feel like I don’t know who I am but that’s just ocd doing it’s thing. :)
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah it is, it feels veryyy real sometimes. Like I’ll be driving home from somewhere and I feel like I’m genuinely confused about my sexuality. I just want to know but I know that I’ll never know for sure. I have to except uncertainty! That’s the only way I’ll get better
- Date posted
- 6y
I get all of that Afazz! It’s just so crazy when your at war with your own brain!
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks for sharing Mae. It sounds like you’re going through basically the same experience.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
I was looking up stuff about kinks, because my friend is trying to help me "get out there", and I took the bdsm test to see where I land on it. I got 100% vanilla, and I was a little embarassed so I decided to Google things like "is it normal to not have a lot of kinks" or "what % of the population is into kink" and when I scrolled down a bit, I clicked on one of the little suggestion things with the arrow that said "are men more prone to enjoying kink than women" and it revealed a blurb from the website that said that men are in fact more inclined to kink, but also mentioned that it also means they're more inclined to p*dophellia, which sort of set off all these questions in my head of like "Wait so if p*dophellia is just a kink, does that make it more likely that I have it? Because scientenists still don't know what causes it so what if events in my childhood led up to me having it to some extent" and I started kind of going down this internal rabbit hole of trying to figure out how likely it is that I have it or some form of it bc if it's just a kink and not a mental illness than it feels more feasible? Idk I'm a woman so ik it's not AS common in us but it's still possible. I'm doing a little better with redirecting my attention and cooling my anxiety but I had an onslaught of intrusive images before falling asleep like I used to have when I first started experiencing this fear. It's been really catapulting me back to the beginning and I find that I'm ruminating on when it started and if it really means I'm a p or not. I know it's classic ocd but it's hard when it doesn't feel that way ;-; anyway, I'm too scared to Google bc i know it'll be a form of reassurance but also I'm just scared of having anything related to that in my search history so I just thought I'd post here. Anyone else have conflicting thoughts like this?
- Date posted
- 21w
Im a straight man and sometimes I make the mistake of compulsively getting on here. It’s gotten better but I slip sometimes. I feel like I’m alone in this and I even read on some OCD page that Women are more likely to suffer from this theme than Men. That just makes me feel like I’m in denial of some sort. I feel alone and feel like my intrusive thoughts are different. I know that’s what everyone who has ocd thinks, but I can’t help shake the feeling like what if I’m lying to myself or what if I have some underlying secret. I don’t want to be gay. I find I argue with myself in my head over and over and sometimes by repeating “I don’t want to be gay, I want to be straight” I’ll end up saying the opposite and that would scare me even though I know that It happened because I’m constantly fighting with OCD. Just feeling a bit down today. I had a sexual dream about an ex girlfriend and it felt great and I’m not scared by it. I find and want to be with Women romantically til forever.
- Date posted
- 20w
I’m struggling with something I’m afraid to even admit out loud. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone I love deeply. He’s kind, safe, and emotionally close to me — and we’ve built a life together. But I keep obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction anymore. Or maybe… I never truly did? At the beginning, I felt butterflies, excitement, connection — and I assumed that meant I was also attracted to him physically. But now, after reading so much and reflecting more deeply, I’m starting to wonder if I ever truly felt sexual desire in the way I was “supposed to.” Maybe my feelings were more about emotional longing, comfort, and romantic closeness — but not sexual chemistry. And now I don’t know what that means. OCD makes it so much worse. It constantly tells me: – “If you really loved him, you’d want him.” – “You’re leading him on.” – “What if you’re lying to yourself?” – “If you try to fix this and fail, you’ll have to leave.” I feel stuck between wanting to fight for this relationship — and being terrified that trying will just prove it’s hopeless. Has anyone experienced something like this? Can OCD really make you question something so deeply personal? And how do you move forward when even trying feels terrifying? Any thoughts or support would mean the world right now.
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