- Username
- activemind
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Explore more posts
- Username
- MaeGreeneMaeGreene
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I am actually a virgin and have never been in a relationship. I have seen all the evidence around me that my status is not normal for many and it has led me to think that makes me a lesbian and that I’ve been lying to myself. Which is crazy since I have only had crushes on guys and am simply scared they’re lying and don’t actually like me, which is the reason for never being in a relationship: I’m scared. Which then causes me to create false memories of attraction, like looking back and knowing I thought a woman was beautiful and cool and I admired her, but now my intrusive thoughts tell me that’s a lie and I was actually attracted to them and was a lesbian all along. It’s crazy and confusing but you’re not alone.
- Username
- crazyfeelings crazyfeelings
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’m actually almost the same as Mae, I’m not necessarily scared of being in a relationship I just fear that they don’t actually like me. Then I doubt liking them, and second guess myself. I have a crush on this boy and my ocd is doubting that I have a crush, I know I want to date him but my mind is very tricky and confuses me. I don’t want to be a lesbian, and I don’t want to date girls so I’m not that way. I’m trying to stay positive because if I don’t want to be something I don’t have to be it. If I don’t desire to be with a girl then I don’t like girls. If I’ve only had crushes on guys then I like guys not girls. I know it’s not going to be easy for my brain to get, but I know what I am, and maybe sometimes I’ll feel like I don’t know who I am but that’s just ocd doing it’s thing. :)
- Username
- crazyfeelings crazyfeelings
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yeah it is, it feels veryyy real sometimes. Like I’ll be driving home from somewhere and I feel like I’m genuinely confused about my sexuality. I just want to know but I know that I’ll never know for sure. I have to except uncertainty! That’s the only way I’ll get better
- Username
- MaeGreeneMaeGreene
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I get all of that Afazz! It’s just so crazy when your at war with your own brain!
- Username
- activemindactivemind
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thanks for sharing Mae. It sounds like you’re going through basically the same experience.
Related posts
- Username
- AG._.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Does anybody else obsess with other people being gay and start thinking that everybody is gay and then think because they do this it makes them gay
- Username
- ranchdoritos88
- Date posted
- 2y ago
To those with SOOCD, Do any of you obsess more about the romantic side of things? I am married to my amazing hubby. But I have questions in my mind like "what if I am bi? What if I could just as easily be with a woman like I can with a man?" I hate these thoughts!
- Username
- gp
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Looking for others similar - any thoughts?
I’m looking for others out there that might be similar to me. I was 25(m), infatuated with a new gf. I had a performance issue. Next morning I woke up with the FEELING that “you don’t feel anything for this girl”. And the anxiety that came with it. I felt sick to my core. Enter 3-6 months of obsessively figuring out why. It made no sense. I was infatuated with this girl, I was so happy, so confident, I could see such an awesome future with her. But once the feeling of “you feel nothing for her” stuck, I felt I had to break up. But why? During this 3-6 months it felt like I lost all positive feelings, like I could no longer be attracted to women (or anything). Nothing mattered except figuring out why I had lost feeling? I remember thinking it wasn’t fair that I’d been robbed of my ability to be happy and to love. Googling everything, asking friends etc. it consumed my every waking hour. During my obsessing, I had this random question - “are you actually gay?” Enter obsessively figuring out wether I was actually gay. I was 26. I had never even considered I was gay. I think I had crushes on girls, I certainly fantasised about them and was much more shy around them than guys. Put simply - I had never thought of a guy as anything other than a mate. This obsession changed to kind of “I FEEL gay”. It was/is like deep down I believe I am gay, despite never seemingly being attracted to guys before. I’m now 35 and this same obsession has been with me on and off. I’m now seeking treatment. Question - most of the online resources call out that ‘deep down’ you know you’re not gay. What if deep down there is a FEELING like you are? Can an obsession be a feeling? Can HOCD convince you that you ARE gay rather than just question? I’d love to hear anyone similar.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond