- Date posted
- 1y
Huge trigger warning!
I have realized I have severe “Apeirophobia” I’m terrified of an infinite afterlife. Suddenly I can’t do anything without the whisper in my mind that I’m going to die one day. Every time I find myself doing something I find my mind asking why am I doing anything at all if I’m going to die someday. Things like showering, eating, drinking water. It makes me wish I didn’t even exist. Oddly breathing happens automatically. The only reason I fear death is because I fear an eternal afterlife and I can’t imagine going there and suffering the pain of all of my loved ones if I’d died of anything other than natural causes. Yet, at the same time I can’t seem to find joy in anything with the constant realization I’m going to die someday. Loving my family seems foreign and futile. If there isn’t an eternal afterlife then life seems even more pointless. Eternal life vs eternal nothingness. If eternal nothingness is reality then consciously existing is silly. My brain is frying between the two possibilities. Both of which I hate the idea of in my brain. Has anyone concurred this?