Whenever sth happens in my pocd that „yet again proves I’m a bad person“ I ruminate about how my life will be from then on. Like, I can’t leave the house like that, I can’t post myself anywhere, I can’t take pictures of myself, talk to people, ever have a boyfriend etc. I hate it sm.
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@emilyvictoria Defo.
@emilyvictoria YESS WXACTLY THAT
Your not a bad person bro, if everyone was judged by their thoughts, everyone would be a bad person. No matter how “real” ocd may make it feel it’s not. And in the moment it feels awful but with time and practice yiu will be good. Also groinal responses suck with POCD because it makes you feel beyond uncomfortable. Just now that you are feeling that feeling because you DONT want to. The brain can’t process the negative. Ready, Don’t think of a pink elephant… what’d you think of… I think I know the answer
@Anonymous Yea but like today my problem is the fear of if I’d touched one of my male classmates without realising. Like I was standing behind one of them and just normally resting my arm when I felt clothes on the back of my hand. I was wearing a jacket which went down to that point and I told myself it def was only the jacket and not me touching him bc I never moved my arm and was standing centimetres away from him so I couldn’t have touched him without moving my arm. But it’s been 7 hours and I’m still ruminating and completely frustrated and feel so down bc of this. I just can’t get rid of this thought of „what if you touched him? What if your arm moved on its own to that point and simply went back to where you‘d had it after noticing? What if he noticed sth and is gonna tell everybody? Nobody will like you from that point on, your life will be ruined!“
@m1ch3ll3 That is 1000000000000% OCD bro i have the same shit. Even the minor details you are describing to me OCD feeds off that
Honey you are fine. Your OCD will drive you to believe WAIT did you do that on purpose???? Or WAIT did you like that???? And it constantly pulls at you and you just need to have the courage to say you know what OCD I’m not gonna do this right now. Because once you get over this it will be something else I promise that. So be able to recognize it and not ruminate because ruminating only makes things worse. It will NOT make it better. Your brain is searching for an answer that doesn’t exist. I hope this helps hun. I hope you rock in school! And for the bullying thing please stand up for yourself. You got this
@Anonymous Thank you sm. I’ll see how he acts around me tomorrow, if there’s nobody saying anything or giving me weird eyes, ig then there is nothing. I wish I could simply ask him if I’d accidentally touched him but I’m really not close to him at all and he’s prob gonna be like „tf is you talking abt💀 you weird as sh“. But like I really can’t imagine that anything would’ve happened since I was so far away from him and literally had my entire arm relaxed right next to my hip so I was so far away from him. I also didn’t like feel actual force from sth like skin, only the texture of clothes which prob was my jacket then. And since the entire thing happened in an escape room which of course had cameras, I’m pretty sure the guy watching would’ve said sth
@m1ch3ll3 The details you are providing me is just digging yourself a deeper hole. The fact of the matter is no matter where you were in any universe If you accidentally touched his butt then WHO CARES. You didn’t sexually assault or harass anybody. These are things that happen in everyday life. If I’m getting off an elevator and a girls arm touched or grazed my butt I wouldn’t bat an eye. If it was reversed that’d be different because guys are obviously very attracted to women’s butts. But you aren’t attracted to his butt or touched his butt in an inappropriate way. It doesn’t matter how close or far away you were whatever happened happened and move on. Everyone is still breathing you are the only one holding on to it because your OCD is making you. And if you were to mention it or ask him that would be your ocd forcing you to ask for temporary pleasure and then you would just doubt whatever you came up with again. Don’t listen to your OCD be able to recognize it. And yes it’s the thibk that drives us all complete bonkers😂. But it’s the learning tools you need to be able to surpass these weird organic scenarios. Trust me I’ve had a million. Let everyday life be everyday life. The kid you may or may not have touched hasn’t had a single thought about it since it happened or not. It’s just you holding on to it. Stop looking for minor details and stop replaying the situation in your head, it makes it worse there is no answer. Sit with discomfort and find comfort and it will go away. Move on with your day
@Anonymous You helped me sm, thanks ❤️ I’ll simply see for myself how tomorrow goes, I actually think nothing happened bc a few minutes later he was actually nicer to me than he was ever before. Like we took pictures and everybody who was in this one specific room had to get together and I actually didn’t want to get in the picture bc I felt bad and am quite insecure abt my looks but he asked if I wanted to get onto it too. So ig there really is nothing :)
@m1ch3ll3 Exactly, it’s all in your head, you are stronger than your OCD
Or WAIT did you subconsciously do that. 😂 the answer is no, OCD is just latching onto something
You have to look at it more generally
And if you touched him who cares lol we are humans and no one has any idea what is going through anyone else’s head
Just because you touch him does not mean you are gay or anything else in fact it means NOTHING!
@Anonymous Im a Girl but like, I was standing behind him and so if I’d touched him I would’ve touched his ass which would be quite inappropriate. He’s also over one years younger than me. And I’ve been seen as the weird kid in class for my entire time in this class so that would feed onto my bullying :( and I’m scared that I subconsciously did it on purpose :(
Instead of seeking reassurance and making your OCD worse, here’s some tools to help instead: -ERP scripting: https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/erp-scripting-for-ocd/ -The Hidden Power of Swearing at Your OCD: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/beyond-the-doubt/201711/the-hidden-power-of-swearing-at-your-ocd -Taking The Power Away From OCD: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/taking-the-power-away-from-intrusive-thoughts -Worry Script: https://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/WorryScript.pdf What is ERP therapy: https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/ocd-treatment/erp/
@Nica Yea I’ll def talk to my therapist abt my problem I wrote it down a few minutes ago so I won’t forget it till next session
A little sad and down. I just feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I grew up with trauma, made mistakes, dealt and still deal with hyper sexuality, and my ocd is so bad. All of this makes me feel tainted, like a weird bad person. I hate being around people and even talking to therapist bc I feel like ive successfully fooled them. Also, I recently saw a POCD hate train on TikTok so now I just feel like a fraud. I get all these thoughts and feelings that im just using ocd as a mask because I actually am a bad person.. and that im some sicko or something, and also my brain tells me and I go back and forth with myself about “oh you just have morals because you don’t want to be shunned from society, and if you were to have no rules you would do disturbing things” and I know I wouldn’t, because I have morals now that are ingraved into me…I just want a normal life. I just want to feel normal. I tend to feel useless in this world, when I really want to do good things but I feel tainted and like I taint this world. I try not to let this consume me but it’s hard.. If you read this thank you. I know I am just in a funk right now but sometimes I wonder if it will be a forever funk… or that I need to “accept” im a bad person so that I can move on… which I won’t bc even if I am (maybe maybe not… I will never know with ocd) I wouldn’t want to be.
Adults only as pocd mentioned I'm still thinking abt all the friends online who have unfollowed me,some cases even i think softblocked or fully blocked me. My brain is convinced that I must have done something gross and predatory or I did something racist or in general bigoted and they came to terms with it and left me. I can't stop thinking abt it. I just remembered checking an old discord for a fandom I was in when I was 17,half the people there had unadded me when we were friended and possibly even blocked,I hadn't talked to a lot of them in a long time though,but I thought we were on good terms. I think we also used to follow eachother on tumblr but before I made a new tumblr I remember not seeing their posts after some point and I can't remember if it's just bc I wasn't on much or i unfolloed or I got blocked. I feel I must have done something awful. One of my worst fears is people i care abt or was friends w leaving me and not telling me why,I have so much stuff I did on the internet I feel regret abt and it could be any of those things,as i mentioned i cant stop goint thru old messages and there have been times ive seen me make like a nsfw joke as a teen in a group chat or me not react negatively when someone else in the chat does something weird . I'm constantly scared who the next old friend i have will suddenly disappear one day,letting me wonder if I did something hurtful or predatory or bigoted to them or someone they know. I have so much stuff I regret a lot when i was younger,I have so much stuff I wanna confess but I'd be here all day and I'm bound to forget something then remember it later and spiral.
I look back at various past events in my life where I said or did things that I feel really guilty, disgusted, and ashamed about. I replay them in my head for hours. I feel anxious about crossing paths with people that I've hurt or upset in the past or who perceive me badly, to the point that I will avoid going out in public as much as possible. I go out for work, errands, appointments, and occasionally to eat (even though those all give me a lot of anxiety), but I avoid community events where people might recognize me and I tend to isolate myself. The only people I see regularly are my boyfriend, my parents, and my coworkers. I live in a small community and I'm worried about people confronting me publicly and proving what a bad person I must be.
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