- Date posted
- 1y
Weak
I don't think I'll be able to deal with this, I'm so scared that it's true, and I don't think I can manage this. I feel like I've lost myself, I'm so scared
I don't think I'll be able to deal with this, I'm so scared that it's true, and I don't think I can manage this. I feel like I've lost myself, I'm so scared
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Yes! We did speak with one another yesterday! And yes, unfortunately, it is the same theme ☹️ I had to spend time with my brother that my OCD is centered around and I managed through it, but I'm so scared that I developed feelings or something and I'm not reacting the way I should as I'm not panicking and I feel like I want to act on these thoughts. It got so bad, I got suicidal thoughts
@khmer0000000 Would you be willing to talk on Tiktok?
@khmer0000000 Or we can continue talking here if that's what your most comfortable with!
@khmer0000000 Would you still be willing to talk?
@khmer0000000 No worries! How was your day?
@khmer0000000 I'm glad to hear, I've managed to calm down somewhat from earlier, and beginning to focus on my show in hopes of relaxing
@khmer0000000 If you don't mind me asking, can this theme be centered only around one person?
@khmer0000000 I don't quite understand how to accept such intrusive thoughts, feelings, urges, ect. I know one way would be to acknowledge it, then move on with your day, but I've recently stopped quite literally everything because of these thoughts. I haven't been to school in two days, haven't been doing hobbies, and I barely leave my bed. It's just an utter disaster ☹️
@khmer0000000 It in fact does, although I do not believe they're knowledgeable of OCD, but I do have a NOCD therapist with me! Unfortunately, she's on holiday until the 25th and then our appointment is on the 28th! Just trying to keep calm until then 😅👍
@khmer0000000 It's so hard to do that when I've been severely depressed for two months 😅 but I'll do my best
The keyword here is "scared". You gotta face your fear. It won't go away until you are finally ready to just care less about how you feel.
Otherwise, a psychiatris can help.
i think i gave up, every time i try to calm down, practice self-compassion or accept uncertainty something worse happens that seems to confirm my event. it feels too, too real even now, it's getting worse with each passing day. i'm really scared, it's hard for me to enjoy the few good moments i have with everyone because now i'm convinced that i'm a horrible person, i know everyone will hate me when they find out, i feel like i'm lying to them. i'll lose everything. i feel like my life is genuinely ending, i'll lose all the good things i worked hard for.
I don’t know why I keep triggering myself but I think it’s real this time. I’m really fucking scared. I don’t want to be a boy but I feel like I have evidence now. Honestly this is the worst I’ve ever been, my anxiety is so bad and I really think it’s true I don’t want to be a boy but fuuuuuuck it feels like there’s no way out. I’m only 14 and I already feel like my life is over before its even started :(( I miss the girl I used to be Edit: I know I shouldn’t be doing this but I’m doing compulsions by going on trans forums to confirm I’m not trans, any advice to help me stop?? I really need your help :(
I’m sobbing right now. I’m convinced that I’ve been in denial all along and that it’s all real. It has to be now. I don’t wanna be a boy but I feel like there’s no way I’m not one if I’m doing these things. There’s no way I’m a cis girl if I’m doing these things. I’m so fucking done with life I feel absolutely trapped. I don’t wanna be a man but fuuuuuuuuck I think it’s real now I’m so fcking done with living. I really feel like I’ve been using OCD as an excuse/a cover up and I’m scared it’s all a facade. There’s no way it’s not real now I’m literally so fcking scared I want it all to stop. If anyone has advice please send some my way. I need it badly
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