Giving up

@Someone99 Yep. Have always dreamed of getting married to a man, falling in love with a man, having children of my own. I recently became an auntie too.

@ellphe Aww, how sweet! Congratulations Auntie! :-) It's amazing how OCD attacks what we value most. And it's even more difficult when sexual attraction seems to be involved, the hormones and all. It's ok to not be ok sometimes. There's hope, please don't give up. There's probably some other past hurts too that contribute to this. I heard someone say "with OCD the problem is usually not the problem".

@ellphe I'm here to talk if you need someone. :-)

@ellphe Please don't struggle alone. We're all here for each other. :-)

@Someone99 Thank you. This is about the worst my OCD has ever been and the depression is getting worse because of it. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone but it’s so hard.

@Someone99 I can talk to my parents, but they don’t really know what to say a lot of the time. I can’t tell my friends about it.

@ellphe It's not easy for people who don't struggle with this to understand. It's good they're there for you as much as they can be. Is faith, God important to you at all? (Hope you don't mind all the questions. 🙂)

@Someone99 I’ve never been a believer in any religion, not that I have anything against those that do, it’s just never been a part of my life

@ellphe That's ok, I was wondering if that may be something OCD is attacking as well.

@Someone99 In the past it has attacked everything. My nephew, my dog, my driving, breathing, health and also contamination/sickness fears.

@ellphe How long have you been struggling? Have you had any therapy?

@Someone99 I’ve been struggling on and off for ten years. Only got the diagnosis a few months ago, when this theme hit. I had therapy for roughly a month or so, but had to stop because of costs and no access to insurance (I live in the UK)

@ellphe I'm similar. I was just diagnosed in June. Now that I'm learning about OCD, I see I've struggled most my life and never realized why or what was going on. Hi to the UK! I'm in the US, in Pennsylvania. 🙂 Nice talking with you. It really helps me too, thank you. Are you in school or working?

@Someone99 Yeah, it’s mad how you can go your whole life not knowing what’s going on, and then when you find out it’s a massive revelation. It’s not a problem at all. I’m working, I’m in my early 20s. You?

@ellphe Fortunately I have much needed trade skills and found another good job right away. What type of work do you do?

@Someone99 I work in education. I’m sorry to hear your situation got that bad. Glad you’re in a better place now though. Are you still having therapy? Yeah, it basically ruined my teen years. It, along with the depression, has taken so much from me. I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore

@ellphe I am. I've gone to every other week. My teen years were pretty messed up too. Looking back, yeah OCD. It also ruined my marriage 5 years ago. I had a major crisis back then and spent time in the psych hospital. Even after all that the doctors never mentioned OCD. I was doing very well until earlier this year when all that happened at work. I get what you're saying about not knowing who you are. It's so sad how it hits us all like that.

@ellphe I'm a tool maker in plastic injection molding. I can get a job anywhere in the country with my experience. Lol. I'm actually in discussion with a company in Texas and also Nevada thinking of moving

@Someone99 It’s good that you’re getting help. It really can destroy lives. But it’s good that you’re thriving in your job despite all of the issues you’ve faced. I really do wish the best for you in your journey and hope you can continue healing

@ellphe Thank you. I wish the best for you. I'd like to keep talking, maybe on telegram or something, would that be ok?

@ellphe No agenda, just friends and support, encouragement?

@Someone99 Thank you. Do you have discord? It’s a social media app. Lots of other OCD suffers use it to communicate

@Someone99 https://discord.gg/CNxFq4Vn