TDR 17

Date posted: 1y

Should i admit my intrusive thoughts?

Should i admit my intrusive thoughts?, i have had quite a traumatic month my relationship nearly ended because i thought about another girl and admitted it cos i felt guilty and disloyal, but i seem to be getting these thoughts of this girl sometimes again while with my girlfriend, i used to like her but I definitely do not anymore and i love my girlfriend to the moon and back but i don’t want these thoughts but they just pop up and make me distressed, i hate them i don’t want them there and they go against my morals, and i never think of them myself they just come up in places i don’t want them and i feel guilty for them all the time, i feel like i want to tell my girlfriend but that would end my relationship i think she would freak out, but the guilt is killing me what should i do?

Relationship OCD

ROCDmensch

Date posted: 1y

Confessing your intrusive thoughts to your partner is a compulsive ritual that keeps your OCD cycle going. Don't do the compulsion if you really want to recover.

TDR 17

Date posted: 1y

@ROCDmensch I just feel like im emotionally cheating if im thinking about another girl i feel horrible and i dont want to think about it but why does my brain think about it if i dont want it?

ROCDmensch

Date posted: 1y

@TDR 17 Because it's an intrusive thought. An intrusive can be about anything, also very disturbing things, but it has no deeper meaning. But you attach meaning to it, you give it attention due to your moral standards. You think "I would be a horrible person if I would actually do that. I don't want to think that, that's so horrible ...". And that's the point where your brain gets hooked to the thought. If you educate yourself on the processes behind OCD it helps with recovery. The concept of emotional cheating is a societal one. Watch the video I send you to understand what I mean. If I tell you "don't think about a blue elephant!", You probably will think about it. That's how our brain works, the part that is "ancient" closer to instincts of animals. The key is to build resilience towards those thoughts and an attitude of "so be it". Then the thought loses its power. The best technique is erp. Right now, if you give into your compulsions you will only make things harder for you

TDR 17

Date posted: 1y

@ROCDmensch I just constantly feel like I’m in self destruct mode in my relationship and everything i think is going to ruin it and because i gave into my compulsion before and admitted it and had a bad reaction it just makes me feel even more guilty over having these thoughts, it also doesn’t help that I have a fear of cheating and have intrusive visuals that make me think that i have cheated when drunk when the evidence suggests against it, but i still can’t believe the rational side of things and im stuck at the moment

ROCDmensch

Date posted: 1y

@TDR 17 I get how you feel. I have been there. But I can tell you that you won't break the cycle of constant guilt by adding more guilt onto it. You need a voice of self compassion. Are you in therapy?

TDR 17

Date posted: 1y

@ROCDmensch Yes i am in therapy at the moment but i am struggling with ERP and believing my thoughts, like i have a vision of somebody in my head that i think ive only seen pictures of on instagram and its placing them in the vision i have of me kissing somebody in a club and it just confuses me like the evidence says i never did it and its against my morals but idk how i can visualise something like that without it being real idk how a brain can think that

ROCDmensch

Date posted: 1y

@TDR 17 Sounds to me like you ruminate a lot and try to figure this out. The thing is that you won't gain 100% certainty on this. Is that sth you work on in therapy?

TDR 17

Date posted: 1y

@ROCDmensch Ive been ruminating about this a-lot for a month and every week its a different girl in my visions ones i haven’t even met and i just don’t know how to handle it idk why its people i haven’t met and idek if this one i have even seen her instagram and its a struggle, but yes i am working in this in therapy

Lindsay Marie

Date posted: 1y

@ROCDmensch I’m new to this app so I’m not sure exactly how it works but could you possibly send me this video too?

ROCDmensch

Date posted: 1y

@Lindsay Marie Can you not access the link I send in the chat :)?

Lindsay Marie

Date posted: 1y

@ROCDmensch Oh yes I can, my bad I thought it was a different video that you sent him lol. Thank you for this.

ROCDmensch

Date posted: 1y

https://youtu.be/6yP-ED1X_xo?si=9Oq1BHV3LO9DKCvC this channel has a lot of very good videos on Rocd

TDR 17

Date posted: 1y

@ROCDmensch I have watched the video very helpful thankyou👍

bremoe

Date posted: 1y

I have the same intrusive thoughts and is one of my current obsessions and struggle. Could you send me the video? I think it could be beneficial to watch

TDR 17

Date posted: 1y

@bremoe Is one of your current obsessions cheating OCD?

ROCDmensch

Date posted: 1y

Hey, the link to the video is in my comment abouve. Take care :)

grellen2000

Date posted: 24w

Intrusive thoughts (21+ please)

I need advice for intrusive thoughts. I used to feel like I could handle them. They weren’t nearly as bad as the things that related to my actual life. But now, I’m suffering. I haven’t had a sexual experience in over a year that didn’t involve constant intrusive thoughts. Most are somehow related to kids and I keep chasing off the thoughts but it’s so bad. I know you’re supposed to ignore them but I don’t know how I can just ignore that and continue what I’m doing. But they’re coming on stronger. I had one earlier I could not get rid of just as things finished so the thought came on strongly just before my orgasm hit and now I feel absolutely disgusting. I hated the thought and I know it’s not me and it was not enjoyable but it still feels like I was getting off to it. I feel sick. I’m so fucking tired of these thoughts. They’re in my every day life too and it’s all the time. I just want it to stop but ignoring it feels so wrong. What should I do?

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 20w

18+ Intrusive thoughts during s3x

I was having intimacy. Watching p0rn. And during climax i got intrusive thoughts a d anxious. I hate when this happens. As a compulsion whenever i get intrusive ocd thoughts i usually think of my wife or therapist (whose a man) and say their name. For my wife its because shes the love of my life. My comfort. And during intimacy of course to arouse over her. When i think of my therapist its not anything sexual its just like a comforting thought since hes the one that is helping me thru ocd. But now ocd is saying why did i think lf him during climax. And in my head i heard my voicr saying his name but this was my way of distracting myself from the intrusive thoughts. It wasnt to arouse myself over him it was tk distract myself and it wasnt a compulsion. Ocd tries associating it with my sexual experience and its making me feel very guilty and anxious. Then i worry was i saying his name. I did in my head but it wasnt again a compulsion tk distract from ocd. Then that made me anxious so i said my wifes name and thougjt kf her. I just had intrusive thought so i panicked and out of compulsive habit i usual say thr name of my wifr and therapist

Minnie_2

Date posted: 19w

Anyone have any suggestions?

I have intrusive thoughts about pornography with family, friends or even strangers. I really tried to block them out but it seems they always get triggered.l feel extreme guilt and this massive pit in my stomatach that is just there 24/7 and it WONT GO AWAY! I know this may sound weird but my mum knows about this as she noticed something was wrong, but every time I get a thought I always feel the need to tell her i keep thinking that I have done something wrong and that my guilt will go away if i tell BUT IT DOESN’T It just gets worse and another thing pop in and another. ITS A NEVER ENDING CYCLE and it seems like I just can’t break free. What do I do? Anyone who has also gone through this how did you recover and get your life back?

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Should i admit my intrusive thoughts?

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