I keep having thoughts that i don’t want and i feel guilty for them but the more i try not to think about them the more i do and its so hard i feel so guilty, what should i do
We cannot control our thoughts so there is no reason to feel guilty. Would you expect someone who is nearsighted to feel guilty that they can’t see far away? Probably not. You’d probably just expect them to get glasses. And in our case, the thing we CAN control is how we respond to the thoughts. When we do compulsions (rumination, checking, reassurance seeking, etc) we are choosing to respond in ways that feed our ocd. We have to choose to accept that the thoughts are just going to pop up sometimes and let them be there when they do. Practice response prevention with erp exercises. Start a daily mindfulness routine. Read about ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) and choose to live your life based on your values, not your thoughts and anxiety.
@pureolife I get scared that my thoughts are what i want just making its way through my head but they make me distressed i dont want any of this to happen in real life like im not a pedo im not a cheater, but because i dont want them and try and avoid them they come back even more and its a struggle and i feel like someone is in my head calling me out for a horrible disgusting person because of my thoughts i just dont know where the thoughts come from
It's a cycle. Are you aware of how OCD works? Where are you currently on your recovery journey?
@ROCDmensch Im very early and ive been kind of spiralling this weekend
@TDR 17 I dont fully understand OCD and how it works properly
@TDR 17 Okay, so OCD consists of basically four stages which can be seen as a cycle. 1. You have an intrusive thought, this can be a theme that is very controversial/many morals attached to it (harming others/children, health, relationships etc.). Once you have an intrusive thought you attach meaning to it "oh no, what if it means something? What if I really am this horrible person? What if this becomes reality". Your brain gets hooked to the theme and anxiety increases as the thought is noticed as a threat. In order to calm down you do compulsions, those can be reassurance seeking, avoiding, checking, or confessing. In your cas it sounds as though you are compulsively ruminating about sth. For a short period of time your anxiety will decrease. You feel a bit stable again. But then the cycle starts again and you do compulsions and over time the span of a cycle gets shorter and shorter. You need to do more compulsions to get your anxiety under controll, your brain is constantly ruminating about your theme. And that were we need to start doing erp. Exposer response prevention. You go into a situation or thought that scares you but you don't do the compulsion. You don't ruminate etc. You sit with the anxiety and learn that you are able to handle it. That's as simple as I can explain it but if you want more information I highly recommend the OCD recovery channel on YouTube as a resource for education on ocd :)
@ROCDmensch Thankyou very much for your help its just i get stuck on themes and in a loop and i really struggle to get out the loop and really struggle to start ERP once the rumination has started, i always ask aswell weather i even have ocd
@TDR 17 What kind of exposure have you tried before? What are you ruminating about? The beginning is always hard. If you construct a fear hierarchy and start with the thing that's least scary and most doable then you can slowly start to increase the challenges
@ROCDmensch I mean im obsessed with not cheating, so ive been trying to watch stuff with cheating in and going back to the place where i think i have cheated or obsess about, it just switches between maybe me kissing someone in a club, or having confusing intrusive sexual thoughts about another woman
@TDR 17 Btw doubting whether you have ocd or not is a prime example for OCD rumination. Try to accept that you most likely have it since you display all the symptoms that come with it. There will bit be 100% certainty on this, but once you accept it as being a fact you can start working on recovery
@TDR 17 And everytime i feel terribly guilty
@TDR 17 Okay, and how would you do erp. Have you heard about writing an exposure script?
@ROCDmensch I have written exposure scripts before but i dont seem to be affected by them because they are just what is in my head usually ?
@ROCDmensch Yea its like i get false memories and i just think that im blaming a real memory on OCD
@TDR 17 I know what you mean. But what exposures have you tried?
@ROCDmensch What do u mean by exposures could i have an example?
@TDR 17 Please
@TDR 17 same here... it's hard!
*exposure...sorry autocorrect
Today has been really hard I feel like I can’t even breathe I feel like a pedo for real :( whenever i think during my alone time i try and coexist with it? but when i decided to think and think i panic and panic more and more i start feel more guilty guys I can’t take this anymore bc when I kinda feel certain it fades aways i think logically i know i probably am ok :( but it’s so scary for me what if i did actually act on the thought and I didn’t realize? And now reflecting it ???
I have intrusive thoughts about pornography with family, friends or even strangers. I really tried to block them out but it seems they always get triggered.l feel extreme guilt and this massive pit in my stomatach that is just there 24/7 and it WONT GO AWAY! I know this may sound weird but my mum knows about this as she noticed something was wrong, but every time I get a thought I always feel the need to tell her i keep thinking that I have done something wrong and that my guilt will go away if i tell BUT IT DOESN’T It just gets worse and another thing pop in and another. ITS A NEVER ENDING CYCLE and it seems like I just can’t break free. What do I do? Anyone who has also gone through this how did you recover and get your life back?
i’m struggling. so i’m a nanny and i had an intrusive thought to like do something bad to him so i was very upset crying saying i don’t want to do it but as i was changing him i got closer to it to see if i would actually do it and i got grossed out. now im feel extremely guilty i even got closer.
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