distressed ROCD relapse
I've been dealing with an Relationship OCD relapse for a few weeks now and im currently distressed, overanalyzing my feelings towards my boyfriend, I feel the urge to break up with him at random times daily, for context I'm in a healthy happy relationship but this is causing me so much distress and anxiety. I fear I might loose control and break up with him.
Hmmm make a list of pros and cons about Him and rate them ... to help you get a clearer picture of you you truly think. This helped me once.
I have been having this too!! It sucks!!! It’s been troubling me all week. Even the other night on a perfectly lovely date I was like in the bathroom spiraling. You and me are in it together!! maybe try talking about it with your bf in the context of “my ocd is making my mind play tricks on me and making me worry that the things I want and love the most are wrong or one day I’ll lose control and run away from the life and people I love, and I don’t want to or think that will actually happen but the fear of that happening is crippling me…” like say it in a way where you can get it off your chest and go to him for support but also like you don’t have to come out and say the break up part if you think that might freak him out. But you can still get support from him and eventually once he gets it more you can go more into detail. My partner was super supportive. like I still feel the anxiety like there’s a different person I’m supposed to be with and I’m making a terrible mediocre choice (I’m incredibly happy in my normal non ocd brain) but now at least I know that I’m happy because I’m listening to my heart about who I love not my ocd. Also maybe once you tell your bf more about your experience you can become playful about it- because they say like marriages stay together because you don’t both want to break up at the same time. So even god forbid it does happen which it won’t- he could just be like “lol ok…” (and roll his eyes and then not leave because he knows you don’t mean it because you talked about it.) Idk I’m not a doctor this is just what I’ve been thinking. It’s really hard!! We can do it ❤️
@Friend123 Your comment is so nice to hear even if I’m not the person you gave it to. I’m also going through this. We must stay strong. ❤️
@TheWorrierIAna Yes! I didn’t even realize it was an ocd thing and knowing I’m not the only one who feels this way makes me feel so so much more secure in my relationship- like it’s the brain being a trickster. We gotta tell it in our best Dora voice “Swiper no swiping my joy!” ❤️❤️
@Friend123 Haha! Exactly!
hey i have been dealing with this for the past two years. it is especially difficult in healthy happy relationships because of the confusion that comes along with your feelings. what i will say is that stop giving expectations on yourself on what you should or should not be feeling. it is okay to not be head over heels and it’s okay to even be annoyed or have doubts. i did lose control and break up, but hey i survived. my world didn’t end. i managed to reconnect with her after realizing my obsessive cycles. anyways i know it’s so hard to stop over analyzing and stop mental checking, so instead i would try and let your feelings be. there is no right way to feel. when those feelings come up accept them, acknowledge how they make you feel, and let them pass. one of the biggest hurdles i had to make but also what helped me the most was to stop looking for answers. you will NEVER have an answer that will bring you peace so you have to stop searching. accept the uncertainty of life and relationships. accept that you could maybe want to break up or you could want to stay. feel it but don’t let it engulf you. you will never know 100% what the right decision is, so as long as it’s healthy, that’s all you need imo. best of luck i know how hard this is. your not alone!
@maxowens i’m no way am i out of the woods, but this way of responding has helped me so much. i am able to exist and enjoy times in my relationship which i couldn’t do at all. if you need any clarification feel free to respond!
@maxowens also, if those thoughts come up again (within a short time period between the thoughts) then instead of going through all of that again, remind yourself that you already got your “answer” and re-searching your feelings will not bring any new information it depends how frequent your thoughts are but i’d say if the thoughts are within 30 minutes of each other then that’s how i respond. there is no such thing as a perfect relationship or the right or wrong ways to feel! do not forget that!
@maxowens all that can seem overwhelming, so to start i would just go with the simple “maybe, maybe not” with the thoughts that come up!
I’ve recently been having a lot of distress about my relationship and things surrounding it due to OCD. I was wondering if you have OCD, how does it present itself in your relationship(s) (thoughts, feelings, urges, images, etc)?
I’ve been going through extreme distress because of my urges and intrusive thoughts that surround my boyfriend. He’s amazing and I love him so much but i have such a strong urge to breakup with him. This urge gets to the point that I have had multiple panic attacks where I am crying, shaking and throwing up. I have talked to him about it but I dont want to keep hurting him. I really want these thoughts to stop, so I can continue normally with my boyfriend and feel connected again. Any ideas?
So I've been struggling with this for more than 1,5 years... My ocd about my relationship began so suddenly. At first it was just anxiety,but later it was about an old friend of mine. I had a huge crush on him before my bf and since I met my bf I didn't feel anything anymore and we just grew apart. Until my ocd thoughts started about the old friend. I keep comparing everything with him until I feel satisfied with the fact it's feels better with my bf than it would with the old friend. I don't want him!!! He wast the person I needed and me and my bf have such a beautiful relationship and I love him so much..the ocd goes and comes but it's always about the old griend and sometimes I begin to doubt the fact it's ocd or it's just meant to be with the old friend?? But I don't want that!!! I am so happy with my bf and I don't want the old friend!!!! I keep revising the same sentences to comfort myself and I can get trapped in the thoughts for minutes! How can I stop this...what if it goes on for more years ugggg....hoping the ocd goes away soon again. Because sometimes the thoughts do go away but now it's back...
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