I dont know what to do anymore i feel like my parents and grandparents hate me or find me exhausting i just dont know what to do anymore i have a little sister and i always avoid her and it anonys my parents and grandparents but i cant help it its my natural reaction i feel like this is all my fault i wish i just didn't live anymore.
This may help You, https://nocd.page.link/J2VScu4xFT6dr5sE7
I understand completely how you feel! I had POCD too so I avoided family members and I would get in trouble all the time! It was hard I remember not wanting to live anymore and feeling anxiety everyday! I thought I would never be better and I’d forever feel like this so I would stay in my room all day. But I started exposure therapy and I started to get better and overtime I didn’t even have pocd thoughts! What helped me was realizing I wasn’t a burden on my parents bc I didn’t choose to have OCD. Ur family loves you unconditionally I know it!! Ur not alone!! You are not your thoughts so pls don’t give up!
Thankyou im on sertraline and im trying my best to do exposure its just so hard
@Givingup. I understand I know it’s gonna be very stressful at first and scary but I promise it’ll get a lot better! Remember you can lean on ur family and other people too bc you aren’t alone! Praying would help me a lot back then so if it helps you can do that too! Remember to take ur time with the exposures and be proud of yourself for getting thru them!
Hi. Pocd can be so hard. I understand your avoidance behaviour as looking to be safe for your little sister. You already are sade, but pocd makes you believe you are not... it didnt know a deep truth it respond only to your behaviour...that is a reason why cognitive-behavorial therapy is so effective on it... by changing response behavior you can change a amount and intensity of thoughts... so far you reacted as these thoughts were true...that there is danger for your loved one...but there is not...when you behave as it is, you feed you iracional fear... pocd fears are iracional...i have pocd 1 year and I didnt do nothing wrong to my loved ones...so slowly ypu can with courage stop avoidance and start to engage with your sister according to your values...(as in ACT therapy) ... you need courage and self-compassion and a lot of self-care...pocd can be really hard...but you will win...you are good person... I have pocd and nowdays it is so weak I do not even have many of these thoughts and can play and care for little ones...hope you recover with patience...sometimes it is really hard...but you are loved and understand by this community
My life has been hell, and I don’t know how to move on. I (15M) did awful things when I started high school, thinking being sexual was the way to connect. I crossed boundaries, overshared, and kept flirting with friends and making sexual jokes, even after they said no (all over text). One friend stopped talking to me and can’t even look at me now. I feel like a monster. Why shouldn’t I be locked up? If I got therapy, I feel like I’d be sent jail. How can I ever move on?Then there were these 2 guys who were older than me one was 16 one was 17. The 16 yr old was introduced to me by my online friend who is my best friend and I begged the 16 yr old for pics (idk how it started but after my friends ex randomly messaged me and sent me pictures and then blocked me right after I think I became addicted to chasing that high) the 16 yr old eventually sent me a pic but it was real and I stopped bugging him on it after that but i feel so bad I did that but my friend tells me not to feel bad cause the guy was weird but I still feel bad. Then the 17 yr old I did the same thing with him but went too far when I tried getting pics from him by using my best friends ass pics she sent me (she was 15) I don’t think I grasped how wrong this was but that’s not an excuse she eventually found it when I told her after she tried getting pics from the guy herself to try and help me and the guy got mad when she stopped talking to him cause we found it weird talking to him. I told her about how I sent the pics she said she felt sick but forgave me cause she thought I was gonna harm myself. Fast forward the guy told me after I had still been flirting with him that I s@d him (we never met in person ever) and I felt so guilty and apologized a lot and he got annoyed and told me that he had been kinda manipulative to me and kept me in a loop of mystery and I don’t talk to him anymore. But one of my other friends stopped talking to me after I was being by too emotionally taxing on him because I became very depressed and didn’t wanna life anymore and tried to stop lifing a few times. And now idk if I actually s@d someone if I did that to someone and now I think I’m a pdo and I think I s@d my baby cousins and my little brother and now I’m scared bf I can’t even get help because my parents don’t believe in therapy and even if I wanted to I’m scared because I don’t want to go to jail but I think I deserve it honestly why should a monster like me live.
So I and my mom got into this big fight yesterday and I said some things I didn't mean to say to her and she said some things and I know what I said was bad but what she said cut deep in me because Even though what I said to her wasn't good her words hurt because going through wat om going through rn is honestly the worst thing a human can go through my worries and fears now all of a sudden now become feeling of Suicide and self-harm and honestly she's right because at this point I'm at a dead end and there's no going back I didn't tell her what was actually going on with me because I know she will never look at me the same and growing up with parents that are Gen x back in the day mental illness is a fucking joke to them apparently and is not taken seriously not all of them are like this but I know a few now I've been thinking about offing myself I don't think I'm gonna make it I'm really struggling.
I've found myself writhing on the ground from intrusive thoughts of my past. I have bruises all over from me hitting myself. Every waking moment is a nightmare, I can't do anything. Can't let people be mean. But standing up for myself turns into cruelty. Cruelty turns into a loathing, and then I fear that everyone hates me. I wish I could die, and live again. I don't want to lose my life, but I can't live like this.
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