Tough times

My biggest thing with having so-ocd is that while I understand not ruminating and accepting that the thoughts are there and not analyzing them, I am confused because on the other hand, analyzing and reflecting on how you feel is typically a way to check in with yourself and see what you desire. How am I supposed to do both? The concept of comphet is rattling my brain and I now I question if my lack of dating is because I simply have relationship anxiety (which is what I have thought my entire life) or if it was comphet all along and I have been a lesbian all along just lying to myself. I’ve read NOCD’s own article on the comparison and similarity of both comphet and so-ocd. And I understand that they only wish to inform, never assure, I see no difference between comphet and so-ocd. Just that one is a mental illness and the other societal pressures. They seem to cause the same effects, it just depends on the origin. Yet you can have both at the same time? I want to know if I have been blind my entire life to my true desires. How to go on in life and go after a partner I could actually be happy with. If I can heal and be with a man and love a man like I have (at least thought) I have wanted my entire life. Or if I am a lesbian and must accept that I am broken by society and so wrongly hardwired that I now need to deprogram myself and be with a woman because that is what I actually want and the only way I can be happy. I’m sorry this is so long. No one needs to truly read it, I am not looking for reassurance. I just really needed to vent. Mag we all become free of our anxieties one day❤️

Sexual Orientation OCD

jdd

Date posted: 2y

Comphet theory is a concept made up in one person's experiences, whether anyone chooses to follow up with it as though it's gospel is really irrelevant. I would not put too much stock in comphet at all personally. I have dating anxiety too as a male so IDK. I don't think people can be blind of true desires.

nanimouse

Date posted: 2y

@jdd Exactly this. Comphet is just one person’s experience that people felt like they could relate to, but there is no genuine scientific basis behind it. Your experience isn’t theirs and for the most part, everyone’s experiences have some uniqueness to them. You’re allowed to have your own experiences and takeaways

nanimouse

Date posted: 2y

@nanimouse Also the person who defined comphet ended coming out as bisexual and not lesbian so

Lex_23

Date posted: 2y

@jdd I know you are right. I know everyone is on their own path and experiences everything difference. This is just a big focus with my rumination

Lex_23

Date posted: 2y

@nanimouse Thank you for the “allowed to have your own experiences”. OCD aside I have trouble seeing anything I do as unique and that gave a sense of freedom just to be me. You are all very kind

zeebee1

Date posted: 2y

Nocd wrote an article about comphet?

Lex_23

Date posted: 2y

@zeebee1 They did indeed. I saw it on the website a week or so ago

jag92

Date posted: 20h

@lex-23 I could have written this!! It is exactly how I feel! I want a man so badly but when anything becomes real I feel sick and disgust and anxious! But I want a family and more kids and cuddles and to feel safe with a man 😩 how are you doing now?

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