Comphet vs Soocd + story

I have a question. I read that if you get anxious and start spiralling when you read the comphet document or if you read or see something that triggers you, that means that you dont agree with it/ these thoughts are ego-dystonic. What’s the difference between this feeling and what people call gay or bi panic. I’m actually asking because ima bit stressed out. When I read the comphet doc for the first time it caused me a lot of anxiety ( I think) but when I reread it, it caused me “relief” (I dont know how to explain the feeling) followed by anxiety. + I’ve been with my bf for 5 years and its been really good (intimacy wise) but these thoughts never leave my mind even when I’m not going through an OCD episode and I always have this feeling like something is missing which stresses me even more (like in the movies) . Like I see all these people saying “ I miss the old me” and I relate to that regarding other OCD types ( I have harm ocd and health ocd as well) but this subtype (SOOCD) I feel like it was always with me. Ever since I can remember. When I was young I used to think about that and go like “ you’ll deal with it later” but im 25 today and the first time I had an episode about that specific type I was 18 maybe, and I had kissed 2 guys ( first one was a peck didn't feel anything and stressed about it all night second time was “first real kiss” and didn’t feel anything and stressed about it. I also made out with a girl in college ( because someone dared us) and i remember stressing about it afterwords because it was kind of good? ( I dont really remember). Anyways I’m in therapy since I was 18. The only thing that calms me down is when my family and bf tell me “ be whatever and whoever you wanna be or be with” and then after that I relax and just spend the night with my bf kissing ans cuddling. Isn’t this weird?! Even my therapist told me “ if you really wanted to be with a women and only women you would be disgusted by men ans would’nt have been able to tolerate you bf for a month let alone 5 years”. Im just so scared im stealing my bf’s time and ruining his life if im actually in denial! Can anyone relate?

Sexual Orientation OCD

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I’ve been dealing with this theme for almost three years. it’s absolutely brutal, so i totally understand. my first year with the theme I saw a TikTok about comphet and it took over my life. I literally thought about it 24/7 and how it pertains to my OCD. There were a couple things in the list that I felt like I could possibly identify with, and that tore me apart. I have never been with a woman, but there were times where I had definitely thought or said that I could sleep with a women, but it was never something i ever wanted to pursue or look into. that also is really hard because my OCD tells me that it’s a sign i should’ve known. I used this video as an exposer, but it really does a good job showing how it’s natural for women to want to experiment with other women, and how most straight women have attraction to other straight women. like come on… we’re beautiful!! https://youtu.be/RyxtZnWCUSM?si=LFIjrSAvpR1dkgGS

nanimouse

Date posted: 2y

What is the comphet document?

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@nanimouse you can just look up comphet and it’ll come up in google

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