I don’t know anymore why i don’t want it like i have no disgust anymore and i feel nothing towards it (sometimes even excitment) i dont know ehat my values and morals are aanymore and im scared i only faked them bcs of society , any help is appreciated
Perhaps you've just been suffering so long that you just habituated to it
@jdd Yeah almost 4 years
@Anonymous 8-9 here maybe more
@jdd Why not get therapy?
@Anonymous I tried in the past but while I was told I definitely have OCD I didn't really think I could do it. And the meds didn't help. I'm working on building myself to trying to do it on my own with a book but it's hard.
@jdd And now, I fear I will be told otherwise that I do not have it and paying for it isn't something I can do currently as I have other medical & dental expenses
@jdd Good luck bro
@jdd Did you ever get the feeling like you like it but only dont want because of society it scared me a lot that that means im i. Denial
@Anonymous Possibly, I don't know what I'm feeling really anymore. It seems like I'm certifiably in denial but I have no desire to explore it. I would rather cut my junk off than be what I consider faux happy and not straight. I want my straight life and that's the only thing keeping me going really.
@jdd Me too but im scared im faking it because of society and family
@Anonymous Nobody can really answer that for anyone else but ourselves unfortunately.
@jdd But how can I whenever i say its not bcs of that my ocd goes against me
@Anonymous Don't argue with it I guess
@jdd You scared the shit put me bro noe my ocd tells me you think im gay
Same thing with me as well. Whatever life aspects I'm trying to pursue after ocd latched onto, it questions all of it and makes want to figure out and check the intentions.
@sba994 @jdd Did you ever get the feeling like you like it but only dont want because of society it scared me a lot that that means im i. Denial
@sba994 Like it latched on to that bcs its one of the last things it has on me im sure I don’t want it
Exactly, it does. Guess what, I had some real events like watching extreme porn and childhood experiences. And ocd justs makes me focus on only on those aspects and now when I'm trying to to live by my terms and values it questions every bit of it and wants me to analyze if I'm doing it for the society or myself. Now, if we try to figure this out, we'll get back into the endless loop again. Ocd can be very sneaky that way
@sba994 Thats a good way to put it , at least before this stared i was happy even if i was “doing ot for society “i was happier than now
Well, you have to get comfortable with the lingering question of doing it yourself or society. Either way, it should not matter. You live your life. Let me know if you want someone to talk to
@sba994 Are you over this,what about the thoughts where you feel like you could do it
If I want to do it, I'll do it. If I don't want to do it, I will not do it. Ocd will keep making you sit there and keeping reassuring yourself that you will not you will not but wait will you? Oh my god, you might, but wait I don't want to? How will I know if I want to? We'd rather, just move ahead and do what we have to do with our lives now. Good luck buddy
@sba994 Yeah but when i say to myself like you dont want to do it my brain answers you dont bcs of society
Try saying back, yeah may be I'm not doing it because of society. Turn back and become louder to the ocd.
So i started to feel like a lesbian again and that i have to be one. I dont want to be one. I just dont. But being straight feel like a lie now. I question my whole life, my feelings and everything. The biggest indicator of this must be that i will be slowly 21 year old and ive never dated anyone and i dont really find anyone attractive and i dont even know if i truly was attracted to someone and im scared of relationships i might have trauma or have anxious avoidant attachment. Help me. I do feel lost. Really lost. I dont know who am I anymore. I feel like that i must have been gay my whole life now. I feel like an alien. I sometimes feel like 2 people are living inside of me.😞😞😞
why do i feel like im starting to like the false attraction? i don’t want to liek it and it normal makes me feel disgusting but sometimes i feel like i like it. please help
I really dont know if it is ocd anymore I dont want certain sexual things with my bf anymore that i used to like When i envision it with a girl it is so easy to envision and it feels like i want that , that will give me the satisfaction This feeling is making me really question if i am still into men , desire men sexually Is this still ocd , i really dont know anymore , as it is a feeling it is too real
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