Constantly worried abt sth

Ive been worried abt having said sth weird to a child all day now. Like I keep thinking abt when I was talking to this one person on fortnite that was 10. I keep being scared to have asked sth weird or even made a sexual joke. I mean that would be weird as fuck. I mean I can remember that we were just talking normally and everything but just now I remembered I once said sth and he was like „what“ and I was like „nvm“. I can’t remember what i had said before that. Maybe he also didn’t understand me because I keep talking pretty much nonsense and often don’t get understood by other people bc I talk very quietly. But I’m scared that I’d said sth weird. And now I keep trying to figure it out. I mean it would’ve been weird to make a sexual Jon in front of a 10 yr old, right? I don’t want to be weird and make children uncomfortable in any way :( and I mean at that time I’d already had pocd but what if I hadn’t realised that at that time it was wrong what I’d said to him? Did I just forget about it? And just now I’d got the thought „what if you wanted to say sth weird to him which he thought was weird and he reacted that way?“ I’m being eaten up by this I don’t want to groom minors

POCD

Username: Soph1127Soph1127

Date posted: 1y ago

As someone with pocd I get this. I feel like my therapist would tell me that if making that comment made me uncomfortable and also could make the child uncomfortable, just make a mental note to try and avoid it. Letting an 18+ comment slip in front of a child isn’t what grooming is. Also, 10 year olds aren’t even supposed to be allowed on Fortnite, the limit is 13. For reasons like this I’m sure. Guys talk about some pretty lewd stuff when gaming. The kid has probably heard worse and will be ok. Keep rational thinking close to combat the irrational. Hope this helps, good luck.

Username: m1ch3ll3m1ch3ll3

Date posted: 1y ago

@Soph1127 Thank you but I as a girl who also grew up hearing quite some stuff online I just feel so bad :( like I don’t want to ruin this child’s fun online

Username: s_lous_lou

Date posted: 1y ago

research false memory ocd. also my therapist told me, if you really had done something like that, you would have been worried about it and remembered every detail, wheras not remembering the whole thing proves you didn’t do it.

Username: m1ch3ll3m1ch3ll3

Date posted: 1y ago

@s_lou Yea that’s true. Like this one time in early 2022 was when I’d made that one sexual joke and ppl thought I was unfunny so I instantly remembered and still do remember everything abt it and after that I actually stopped making any jokes bc I don’t want to make ppl uncomfortable. I personally also hate seeing sexual jokes made by other people myself. And like I actually know that the guy I’m talking abt had no problem with me at all. Like he befriended me after that and played another game. He was a really happy and absolutely sweet person. And like I think I can remember he actually was the one who made me a bit uncomfortable by asking for my gender (pretty problematic was that imo b, obviously since I’m a girl and often online it’s that suddenly every guy treats a girl differently and starts saying weird stuff etc) and asking for my age (im 15, I think he said he was 10). But like due to my pretty deep voice and esp through microphone he was like „you’re really a girl? You don’t sound like one“ and I think that was when k started explaining to him I am a girl and that I just have a pretty deep voice for one and ppl often think I’m a guy etc and I think I like told him abt some of my experiences and I think I was talking either too quietly or he didn’t get what I’d meant so he then maybe said that „huh?“ thing. Like how would I be able to come up with some random sexual joke? I was barely even talking bc im usually very uncomfortable in the speech chat in games and so I was quiet most of the time just answering his stuff. But im still scared that I’d said sth out of pocket and didn’t apologise.

Username: mlrmmlrm

Date posted: 1y ago

Grooming is not making a sexual joke. Honestly 10 year olds probably hear worse at school and knowing they play online with a bunch of people they definitely heard worse. Try to hold on to your logical side of thinking. Hope you feel better!

Username: m1ch3ll3m1ch3ll3

Date posted: 1y ago

@mlrm Yea but what if I’d made a sexual comment to him? I mean I’d never get the idea of doing so ever and have never made a sexual comment or even said that out loud but what if? I’d be a dann groomer who deserves prison time

Username: m1ch3ll3m1ch3ll3

Date posted: 1y ago

I think I remember the confusion was when I was explaining sth to him but I’m not sure. The fear to have said sth sexual to him is also quite weird bc I don’t have any interest in literal f 10 yr olds and it was literal fortnite so how would it be possible to come up with a sexual joke? I also NEVER make sexual jokes tbh. I once almost 2 yrs ago made one but I really never like to do that so why am I scared to have said sth weird to a literal child? 😕

Username: m1ch3ll3m1ch3ll3

Date posted: 1y ago

Ngl this fear is one of the worst things I’ve gone through after over 1 year of pocd. Like before I was at work and just a few minutes after arriving my fear was back. And I started to feel sick like I had to throw up I was about to tell my boss to let me go outside bc I was feeling so bad and my thoughts lasted for the entire 3 hours I was there I wanna quit this job bc whenever I am there I can’t help but get stuck in my loop of thoughts bc there is literally nothing to do besides washing dishes silently. They only have sh music and the people there aren’t nice to me.

Username: Bright garfi...

Date posted: 3y ago

POCD,+18 please, need of help I keep thinking abt when I was like 17 I used to go on amino to roleplay ships I like,and I'm freaked out now over it because even though I never did sexual rp before I still did rp that was in a romantic setting and I'm worried if anyone I ever roleplayed with was massively younger than me and I just didn't care or didn't put in effort to notice. I have a memory of doing a short roleplay with someone and feeling uncomfortable about it and i don't know if it was because I just felt shy or they were young and I was uncomfortable but doing it anyways. A long while back I went to the amino again and checked all my followers and tried to find who I roleplayed with going off of what I remembered their pfp being and the one I thought seemed most similiar was someone who was 20 and all the rest didn't list their age but im worried what if they unfollowed me and did say their age. It all makes me freaked out because there was this thing where a 20 something dude said it was OK he roleplayed nsfw w minors because he didn't want to seem rude by saying no when they suggested it and I don't want to be as bad as that guy is and i never did anything sexual but I'm still scared it's just as bad if it's roleplaying a romantic relationship and I had that memory of feeling uncomfortable but not wanting to seem rude by not interacting. I dont know if it's a false memory or not and idk if it is. I just know when I was spiraling and checking all my social media I deleted a chat w a ship rp w/o checking and I've been freaked since.

POCD

Username: mitz

Date posted: 1y ago

worried i did this thing

so i’m constantly worried of touching people l, grazing up or bumping into the them and the sort. sometimes when i try not to i like twitch, and it feels like i moved intentionally. i’m worried i bumped someone underage at a movie theater and that it was a case where it like felt intentional. i have pocd and i remember something involving some people at a movie theater a few days ago bothered me. at the time i told myself that since it’s a rated r movie you need to be 17 to go in, and i forgot all about it but now remembered that no one really enforces that. now 17 is still young so i doubt i’d have forget anything too drastic that could have happened but it’s still a possibility.

Username: m___

Date posted: 1y ago

Pocd? Ruminating

Yesterday I was watching a show and I thought the boy was cute and just randomly texted my cousins cuz we were watching the same show. I’m 23, & at first glance I barely paid attention but I thought he was at least 21, but my cousins replied with “he looks 18 you pervert” or “it’s looking bad for you”. I started freaking out immediately checked to his face properly again and he did look younger, & I felt so disgusted with myself. I felt terrible, instantly regretted everything & didn’t know what to do. I’ve been anxious since last night barely been able to sleep cuz I just complimented someone who is younger than me. My mind is now like ruminating that I’m a pedophile or pervert for thinking that. I hate this because I honestly wasn’t thinking of it in that type of sense like I would date him or something, I was not aware. I would’ve forgot about that moment after. I needed to get it off my chest cuz I have been feeling exhausted & terrible.

POCD

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Constantly worried abt sth

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