Harm OCD is making me question my kindness. I've always been a kind person, put everyone else before me. Since Harm Ocd, I see everything different and I don't know if it is from the disorder, but my mind is constanly thinking about "Why to be kind and not evil?" "How do you know you like to do good more than to do evil?" or "Try evil stuff 'cause you will enjoy them" .. I aslo get sensations of "truth" and I am scared.
These thoughts are getting louder cause youre reacting to them with fear, which is normal when you dont know how ocd works, so dont worry. Start to passively disregard with them and try to live your life as best as you can. If you notice that you really want to rumminate about that, know that its just ocd trying to pull you back
So I won't change who I am right? Or turn evil?
@cartoonlover Lets try to view this differetly. How do you react to this "I might change who i am, maybe i will turn evil" thought? Isnt it feels like you have to get the answer right now cause if not then something bad will happen? How do you relate to your thoughts? Do you think every thought that comes into your mind it represents who you really are? How you relate to yourself? How you relate to yourself when you feel afraid or depressed, do you say "its okay im having this feeling, it will pass" or "omg why do i feel this, i want this to go away"? I believe that to recover from ocd you need more than "just accept the thoughts and go live your life". Ive been told that many times and then i was judged cause i couldnt recover. Then i found someone who really helped me, and i had to learn how ocd works, what are my obsession paths, what do i do for rummination or avoidance, and then how do i relate to my thoughts and emotions and to myself when i have these negative things. Its important to learn to nurture ourself in hard times. Im a christian, this helped me alot, but its your choice how you recover. This seems like it too much, well for a day it is but just choose one for now and learn day by day. Good luck, remember you have the power to recover!❤️
@PRIV8 thank you..!
Your not alone, I go through the exact same thing. My harm OCD tries make me feel as tho that I’m evil and even makes me feel as though I want that which instills so much fear. I’ve always loved doing nice things for people and be courteous but now when I do it makes me feel as though I’m just trying to do that to compensate. I’ve actually named my OCD and whenever I have a thought/feeling/urge I just say o well that’s ”Oscar” acting up and it seems to help a bit. Best wishes!
OCD can make you doubt many things such as feelings and values
yeah I know that but it feels so real ...
@cartoonlover See there is the reason why you have to learn that everything that you feel isnt reality. Feelings are good messegers but not something that you should follow
@PRIV8 We obsessive people have a problem of interpreting our thoughts and feelings in the wrong way. I give you my exemple, i have suicidal ocd and i use to think that im actually suicidal when bad things happens cause i thought the thoughts came up when i felt that something is bad so i want to avoid it by death, but then i learned how ocd workes and i realized the feeling of this is bad and i need to avoid this is not about the situation, its about the suicidal thought, but i misinterpreted it as i want to die... The problem is not the problem, but ocd can make you believe it is...
@PRIV8 *sorry i have alot of misspelling
I know we’re not meant to ask for reassurance but I’m currently not in therapy and I need help, it feels scarily real and I feel like I’m not anxious or worried over the thoughts. I had stabbing thoughts about someone I care about and I started deliberately imagining them to test myself to see if I hate it or not but instead it felt like I knew how it feels to stab someone and like the feeling of doing that physical action and I swear it is the worst thing I have ever experienced as well I had moments where it felt like It was about to happen or I keep getting this really sick ‘happy’ feeling that I want to do that and I don’t know what that is but it feels incredibly real almost like I was getting a happy feeling or wanted to do that thing and jsut wasn’t giving into it and now I’m thinking I’m actually evil and it feels like I get a pleasurable feeling over the thought of doing that and would want to do it?? Because I ‘like’ the feeling of doing it or it would ‘feel’ good I swear I really don’t know what to do it feels incredibly real I feel like I can’t even say that I’m worried or scared because I feel like I’m lying and actually want it and have evil desires I’m really concerned, I have never done anything bad in my life, I feel like what if through experimenting and imagining the thoughts to test myself I have suddenly discovered I like it because it feels extremely real that I would ‘enjoy’ or like Doing that evil thing and it’s really concerning, i don’t understand I was fine a few days ago and suddenly I’m experiencing this? Is it possible to suddenly become evil i don’t want to be evil, but what if i like it and my desire to not be evil isn’t as strong as this ‘happy feeling’ i wish I can be normal I don’t want any of this please but I swear I feel like there is something wrong with me, I think this is the worst I’ve ever felt, like it feels like I want it and would enjoy it and it’s making me feel really worried but at the same time I don’t even know if I’m worried please help I need advice
so this all started not too long ago, for literally no reason at all. but one day i got a random intrusive thought about harming others and it freaked me out bad. since then i’ve been non stop focusing on it and im genuinely scared that i am, or gonna end up like those sick people that have documentaries about them. i’ve never had these types of thoughts before and after me and my mom looked a lot of stuff up we think i have OCD cuz a lot of the stuff it was saying was accurate to me. to anyone in here, does this sound like OCD to you? i’ve always been a nice loving person and these thoughts freak me out so bad and make me feel like i’m a bad gross person. it got to the point i don’t even like looking at myself anymore. i just wanna go back to normal man. another thing to add, when i would explain this to my mom even though i was telling the full truth on how crappy this made me feel it felt like i was lying almost? but i know i wasn’t deep down. i’m just scared that what if i act on something or get in my head too much you know?
I had blood work done for a test I was having a couple weeks ago. The phlebotomist hit my vein weird, my arm bled a lot, but eventually stopped. My arm is still sore several days later. The following week I had my bronchoscopy. The nurse used the same arm that was already sore to put in the IV for the meds. My arm started hurting, swelling and burning. I told her it hurt really bad but she ignored me; then I was out. It’s been a week and my arm still hurts, and my veins are tight and hard. Couple that with the white stuff all over my face, that nobody from the care team bothered to wipe off- which I didn’t know about until my husband asked me what it was, I got harm from my OCD! At first I chalked it up to the white stuff on my face was bad bedside manners. Now, I keep thinking that my doctors and everyone associated with the clinics are trying to harm me. This morning I had an incident with the fryer oven while toasting my bagel. I asked my husband about it and he says he didn’t notice anything. I was down to the last few bites of my bagel, and suddenly started feeling loopy. I spit it out and threw the rest away. After sitting awhile thinking of the doctors and phlebotomist etc… it dawned on me that it was my OCD telling me people were trying to harm me. I don’t know how to get over the fact that my arm hurts really bad and my doctor completely ignores my health concerns. I’ve been nauseous for the past two weeks or so - there is definitely something wrong! I think when they find out that you have OCD and/or Anxiety, they treat you differently, as if you’re making up the symptoms. I most certainly haven’t felt heard! My husband always says, what’s wrong now? It’s such a horrible feeling to hear him say that. Is this what you call Harm? Or is it associated with Harm? I’m not sure if this is triggering or not. I hope not.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
