When I’m feeling ok I’m like “ok I am straight” with proofs. Then an intrusive thought or memory comes up with lots of proofs and evidence and I’m feeling down again. I can’t control this. I need to keep myself busy all the time, I can’t stay with my thoughts and that’s the saddest thing ever. I am scared of my own mind.
Same here, I acc notice guys more now and whoever I come across it ll make a imagine of me either sex with them or kissing them. I feel more comfortable thinking SBT a girl but I don’t get aroused anymore. My sex drives been destroyed
@—————— Like I smile thinking abt kissing my girl or cuddling her in bed. But sexually like sex wise I feel nothing, whereas thinning abt it with a guy jus brings me disgust as to why I’ll never even try it in my life. I’m straight ocd cannot change sexuality
@—————— Me too my heart strts pacing and it feels like I’m aroused but I acc ain’t. I’ve not even had a boner since god knows when😭 it’s jus so bad. It’s like before this I was in love, attracted to so many girls, now it’s jus odd, it feels odd and I’m not happy abt it at all. I jus want to be the old me
@—————— How old r u,
@—————— U have any social media’s? I think we both are going through the same thing and talking abt it would be helpful for eafhother 😞
@—————— Snap? This way I think we can help eachother fight these thoughts off as we both are experiencing the same but different gender
It’s so hard! My therapy had made me worse today 😢😢
@jag92 I know how you feel. Therapy was exhausting for me too.
@Anonymous 00 It’s made me worse like I now don’t know whether the compulsion is the proving I’m a lesbian or the compulsion is reassuring myself that I’m not and jjst to live life how I want ….my brain is such a mess
@jag92 I’m so sorry. Hope things we’ll get better for you! ❤️
You don’t have to make a definitive statement one way or the other- bisexual and pansexual identities are just as valid- and you don’t even have to give yourself that identity. Sometimes you can just look for a relationship that fulfills your life and it doesn’t matter if it’s a man or woman or NB person. Try practicing what it might look like to live in the “inbetween” not needing to decide one way or the other. Thinking of emotions and attraction like a River you are floating in- relaxing and along for the ride. Self discovery is a long process and self acceptance can be even longer. Just remember you are exactly perfect the way you are and there is love and partnership out there for you.
@Friend123 That didn’t help anyone but maybe made their thoughts worse. Pls things like these keep to urself. Everyone is what they are from the strt. Nothing changes.
@Friend123 Thank you for the advice, but with this answer you triggered me honestly. OCD is all about fear about something we don’t align with. Telling me to accept the outcome is triggering me, cause I don’t feel like I’m gay but I can’t control my thoughts, intrusive images or sensations.
@Anonymous 00 Exacrly, or the brain making u look at guys noticing them more. What’s helped me a lot is thinking back to when I had it 2 years ago, then it going away how happy I was to now the symptoms being more severe. Don’t mean I’m gay. I jus leave it on uncertainty, maybe I am maybe I’m not . Who knws I don’t need to knw rn. And I move on with my life. I know I’m not gay I don’t need to prove that to anyone or my brain. I know what I’m into
I feel like the thoughts are telling me, "You want this, you want to be attracted to kids" when I know that's not the case. I've been stuck ruminating for the past couple of days and I'm so worried about this disorder convincing me that I'm something I've never been. I try not to fight it, but when I don't it feels like I'm giving into it like it's true. The meds I'm on keep me from being super depressed, but it's still there. I feel like I'm going to act on my thoughts one day and it worries me. I don't feel like myself anymore and I don't know if this is progress or a relapse. Even when having intercourse with my partner, I had to thought block because the thoughts were images while in the middle of it. Then afterwards, they came flooding in saying that I was doing it as a distraction. I don't know what else to do. I try to pinpoint all of my triggers, but sometimes I don't think I even have any. I feel like a monster. I'm honestly scared.
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
I’ve tried living in the uncertainty today & kept myself busy but I can’t shake this feeling that I’m about to lose control & act on my thoughts. I keep feeling like I need to check in to see how I feel & keep my self safe & when I’m near my trigger it feels like I’m being pulled into doing it & feels like I want to but I’m not using compulsions. My thoughts feel like my own & feeling like I’ll be like this forever. Can someone relate or give advice 😩
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