Does anyone get thoughts like what if i want to go back to my ex? What if i like him? Etc etc or compare my previous relationship with my current one, like oh maybe he would’ve done x or y differently, And start fighting in my head thinking its true, and feel like im lying to my partner. Please comment so i feel less alone and not crazy, and actually relax from this
I’ve been struggling with this a lot too recently. It started out as a natural not-OCD thing just being curious about the differences in relationships. But soon my OCD latched onto it and it became compulsive rumination around those fears of ‘what if my ex was better, what if I don’t like my current partner enough?, etc.’ I’ve realized this and started practicing exposure when those thoughts occur. So instead of ruminating and comparing, when those thoughts occur I try to just go ‘yea maybe my ex was better, maybe I still like her, maybe my new partner isn’t as good’ and just sit with the uncomfortable feeling that brings. And eventually it does go away when you don’t feed it with the compulsions
@Ocdeeznuts55 My thing is not doing the compulsions makes me go crazy, because they do make you feel good at the moment sometimes but in the long run they not beneficial
@Anonimo05 Even the compulsions will stop working eventually and then they don’t make you feel better and just continue to fuel the negative emotions. The feeling sucks, but it’s what you need to withstand in order to overcome it. Can even try giving yourself a little pep talk to resist them! Like ‘I know my ocd really wants to ruminate on this, but I know that will not help me. I can sit with this icky feeling.’
@Ocdeeznuts55 Thanks. I will try that. Im so scared to go out with my bf, all the thoughts, my anxiety and my depression are def kicking in whenever i try to do something productive
@Ocdeeznuts55 Yes this is a BIG one!!! It’s important to acknowledge that those thoughts could be real and then what? Sit with the uncomfortable thoughts. Thank you
I compare my past relationships a lot too. I think part of that is natural bc we want to see what we like and don’t like about our current relationship. Just remember they are different people and will have different strengths and weaknesses and that’s okay
@Bbqueen Thank u so much, sometimes knowing im not alone gives me some peace, right now im struggling with seeing the future, im scared it wont work out, scared because it feels real that i dont see us together in a house etc, to the point where the thought of having kinds makes me anxious, all because of my thoughts
@Anonimo05 You’re not alone I do it too and a lot of other people. That’s so hard to feel that way. I don’t know if you’re religious but I know for me praying for peace to know if the relationship is right always helps me ❤️
@Bbqueen I will start praying for a peaceful mind and happiness for both of us 🫶🏼💖
@Bbqueen Dont you get anxious? Like you said you pray to know if the relationship is right, it can become triggering afterwards?
@Anonimo05 Thank you!! And it can definitely become an obsessive thing if you’re not careful. You don’t want to be saying tons and tons of prayers anytime you feel stressed. But I think if the relationship is right God will help you to know that, then you can remember that feeling and fall back on it when things get hard. It’s hard for me too hahaha still trying to navigate it ❤️
So me and my boyfriend have been dating for a few months but seriously talking for around 8. I have never met anyone so perfect and amazing. I love him so much. Into our talking stage i kissed my ex situation-ship and ever since have been dealing with the consequences. He forgave me and gave me another chance and i have shown him how much i care every day since. He is over it now since it was only in our talking stage. I have had thoughts with my ex name, thoughts i hate my boyfriend, always constantly thinking if im bored, if i love him. It switches day by day and impacts my life constantly. I don’t feel like myself at all. Some days i can’t do it. I just want to be happy and secure with him. my thought from the past few days is that i want to be single and hook up with other people. I don’t actually want to hook up with others but i feel so terrible and guilty. Does anyone else deal with this? Sometimes i can’t tell the difference between my real thoughts and the fake ones. I have been debating breaking up with my boyfriend because i feel like it’s best but i would be so sad. He is perfect and i see myself marrying him.
What do yall do when yall think of past partners or other people during intercourse with your current partner. I ended up confessing that to my partner and it’s damaging the relationship or making things really difficult. Having a really hard time trying to control the thoughts. I even think of other people while with my partner. Any advice or anyone with similar experience?? Please
Im scared that if I start to think it too much, I will start to believe it, and it becomes my reality. I always have thoughts like, “Do I love him, what if I lose feelings, how longs is this going to last, when will these thoughts finally go away, is he the one for me, is this how love feels like or am I just convincing myself?” I start to search things up to make myself feel better but the longest that works for is a few hours and then that gut wrenching feeling comes back. I love him I’m sure of it, but then why do I feel like this? I know if I didn’t love someone I would let them go and would t even fight for it or try to get better, but for him I’m trying ever second of everyday and sometimes I just feel so hopeless. I can’t afford a therapist and I’m too busy to talk to one. I don’t know what to do or how to feel, sometimes I just feel numb and I hate it, sometimes I feel like crying but can’t, and most the time I don’t feel jealous anymore and that scares me because I’m a jealous person. Then I get thoughts and reminders of my ex. Not in a way that I like them but the hatred and the trauma and pain they left me with. The mental, verbal and physical abuse. Sometimes my current relationship reminds me of him and why I shouldn’t be in one because I always fall into this deep hole that feels impossible to get out of. I just get so scared.
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