Okay just a quick question Has anyone else thought in their head about telling people that they are worried they are gay And then someone reassuring you that you are not But then instead of feeling reassured you feel annoyed as if you are gay But you don't want to be gay But you feel gay THIS IS SO CONFUSING
The more you ruminate and try to figure it out, the more real and confusing it becomes. This will inevitably make you feel worse bc you’re trying to look for certainty—but no amount of certainty will ever be enough for OCD. That’s what keeps the cycle going as you’re constantly looking for a definitive answer when there isn’t one. It’s really hard to accept the uncertainty of it, but you can do hard things 🤍
I think it's just scary because before I still had some attraction to men but now it's like it's fading and there is barely anything and it is scaring me because I just feel like if I say I am not gay now I am in denial and it feels wrong and idk why anymore idk if this is even ocd maybe I am gay but this wasn't what I planned and I hate it because trying to keep all those gay emotions at bay hurts so much
@Anonymous246 Sorry I’m just seeing this now. You’re not alone, I completely understand your pain. This happened to me too - I lost my attraction to men and I felt like I ‘became’ gay overnight. I was devastated bc it felt like the one thing that made me happy was being taken away from me—even though logically, I knew it wasn’t true. I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this as well. The healing process is difficult, but you’re on the right track by acknowledging the maybe, maybe not statement. The less you fight against it, the more clarity you’ll start experiencing again. You’ll be ok, I promise.
Comment deleted by user
This has really helped me but rn I am really stuck because even when I say to myself that I am bi or gay it just feels normal and idk where the anxiety has gone. I can't have just suddenly turned gay in a week????? I lost attraction to all men which is really annoying because even movies with men that I used to be obsessed with I can't even enjoy
@Anonymous246 I think the hardest thing with this them is when you lose attraction for opposite sex. I use to reassure myself by always finding a male and checking that I was still attracted and then maybe because I kept checking, the level Of attractiveness went away. It was slowly starting to come back and now, it comes and goes but it’s not the same
This is interesting to me. I just learned I have OCD this year, however I notice it all throughout my past now that I know what it does to us. Well, probably 10 years ago I was going through major SO stuff. We have a meeting at work every Wednesday, 12 coworkers in a conference room, everyone gets a chance to talk about any concerns, and so on. Every meeting I fought an urge to tell everyone when it was my turn that I'm gay. Can't say I never questioned it, always have, especially in my teen years, and I even had a minor experience that seemed very enjoyable. So I don't know, it can be confusing.
Comment deleted by user
I just want to get something straight here So if I say I am straight I feel bad If I say I am gay I feel bad But if I say maybe, maybe not I feel good?
@Ilovemyhusband0322 So that's the way to overcome this???
@Anonymous246 Knowing you do have OCD, it's necessary to learn how to manage your thoughts and then you'll be able to love yourself and who you are. :-)
The thoughts are real? I have so ocd I really think I’m gay.
Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.
So I haven’t been on this app in a while. But I just want advice on how to overcome this. I’m now 18 and I’ve been trying out dating apps. I’m not gonna lie I’m kinda picky when it comes to dating only because I plan on dating to marry…so I take it a bit more seriously. But for some reason it’s so hard to click with people on these dating apps. So my friend was helping me through this dating apps process. I told her that I wasn’t interested in this guy I was texting anymore because of the way he was responding to my messages. And she says maybe you’re gay…this is honestly the sixth time (I’m definitely over exaggeration but this isn’t the first time someone had said this to me) someone has ask/said this. Every time someone says this it literally sends me down this spiral of are they seeing something I’m not seeing. Despite never having a crush on a girl my mind goes down this loop of overthinking. And when I say I don’t want that lifestyle or I don’t really find pleasure in being apart of the lgbtq community my mind is like in denial. I just wanted to have a fun teenage dating experience and now every time I open the app I always think what if I really am gay and I’m just in denial…or what if the reason why I’m not connecting with anyone is because I’m really into girls. Since i’m also religious, my mom wants to go what you’re denying who we are because of your religion. And I tried to reassure myself by saying I would know if that was the case like I would feel deep down who I’m truly attracted to and know that I’m trying to cover it up by dating men. This whole thing is so mentally taxing because I was going through this all throughout my senior year of high school and I’m not going into my freshman year of college so. Like I literally felt so much anxiety next to one of my classmates who was gay and a masculine presenting. I feel like if I would’ve told this to anyone, they’d say of course you’re in denial. But ig reply if you can relate
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
