ROCD. Exhausted

@JordTheNord I think it would mean having a happier, more carefree marriage. It’s like my OCD is so loud that it’s all I can focus on, instead of things that actually matter. So I feel like not having it present would mean I could actually focus on things that matter, like real problems and also happier times. And to be able to look at things more objectively and have more freedom in the things I do rather than feeling like my OCD dictates all of my actions

@JazzCrab Completely understand and sorry to hear of your struggles especially when it’s affecting a very amazing part of your life! Could you give me an example of what you think you would look at something objectively instead of what your OCD is influencing

@JordTheNord I’m really bad at resisting compulsions. So, a lot of my ocd is partner focused “flaws”, and when it comes up, it feels so urgent that I’m really bad at looking at the thing objectively and being like “yep, moving on from this, not important” because it FEELS so important. But I know OCD messes with your feelings. And then if there is a real issue, even a minor one like cleaning up, chores, whatever, I have ocd thoughts and feelings that make it hard for me to know if I’m being nit picky or whatever

@JazzCrab Yea I’ve felt that for sure. Being our own worst enemy. So I have mastered my OCD. It’s doable and it’s great like everyone believes. However I do want to be clear, I still get intrusive thoughts. I still have to do and remember the tools for handling them. I also, do deal with them like you said “not important thanks for stopping by”. I use to think and I think a lot of ppl still do believe that NOTHING will come up and nothing will irk us. I am an extremely happy person BUT I still have to put in effort to maintain my peace and for any negativity that comes my way both external and internal. However that just makes me still getting stronger. Constantly sharpening my skills as we all do. Non OCD ppl still deal e it h intrusive thoughts. They just know how to handle them. Also, eventually you do just have to keep moving forward with the doubting of oneself in every movement you/we do. That was my biggest issue. So for example: if you feel bit picky take some time (when you’re not in an OCD episode) and self reflect. Take time to really know yourself and believe this is my stance on anything. Not plan out you’re reactions but just be like I’m going to be like this and do this because this is what I believe. If I’m wrong I’m happy to find out but I will not just back down for someone disagreeing with me. I will openly take criticism to make sure if it’s something I missed (I’m still growing and learning and sharpening my skills as a person even with OCD not dictating my life) and I will cultivate confidence that I have to keep moving forward otherwise I’m dictated by the outside world which I’m allowing because it’s OCD pushing me over.

@JazzCrab As terrible as it feels do your best to not confess and or just space it out. So next time you feel the need. Wait til the next day. Baby steps so you don’t feel it has to be a quit cold turkey kind of thing. It greatly helps. Next time a question comes up just go there other way “do I love my husband? FUCK YEA I DO. Hot price of ass is mine” lol. Being humorous with OCD helps too. Takes a little of the seriousness away. You as we all do eventually of course need to just believe in ourselves. And even if it feels gross or not good enough just have to practice faking it til we make it. It might feel shitty and not great at first but it eventually will feel natural and calming. We have to disengage destructive habits and replace them with constructive ones.