Have not been able to find peace

I have not been able to find peace since I had a hallucination that last 5 seconds. Before the hallucination I had a fear of schizophrenia and also had covid which made me worry ten times more. The day of the hallucination that last 5 seconds I only had about 3-4 hours of sleep on a early release. Ever snice then I been constantly worrying and paranoid because of it. Therapist unlikely to have schizophrenia and when I went to the hospital I was the least crazy person In there and told me go home because I'm not crazy told me to get off the internet and do something instead which is something I need to do I know On school weeks I stay up till 12 and wake up at 5:15 and stay up all day and then I get home sleep at the same time or I take a nap for like hour or two then up most of the night till like 1 and then I go back to sleep till I have to wake up again at 5:15 But I can't find peace with it being sleep problems to me I feel it mean I'm dying have schizophrenia or some type of cancer

Young adults with OCD

Anonymous6482

Date posted: 1y

If it was like a hallucination where you saw something that wasn’t there like I’ve seen people hallucinate people and dogs and even just weird shit. The thing that I always remember is that those people do not realize they are hallucinating. Because hallucinations feel real. What you went thru what most likely just a visual thing. Due to the sun, lack of sleep, and stress. And since you were so scared and worried about it anyway you probably freaked yourself out more. Something else that helped me was also just accepting it. So what if you are schizophrenic. It’s treatable there’s a lot of people that have it and you wouldint even realize it. Schizophrenia seems scary because it’s presented more scary then what is usually is. I know what most people think when you think of someone with schizophrenia but it’s really stereo typically known as your crazy if your schizophrenic basically and that’s just not true. Also you definitely aren’t schizophrenic nor did your “hallucination” indicate any disease. It’s very normal to see stuff like that. It just scared you because of you already being on edge

CrazyKing223

Date posted: 1y

Yep I will just accepted it and know that I'm not schizophrenia hopefully it won't brother me that much but these reply help me thank you for them

Anonymous6482

Date posted: 1y

@CrazyKing223 Good I’m glad and I hope they help you in someway

Anonymous6482

Date posted: 1y

I’ve had this same fear over the course of my life I think twice I’ve had it bad. I get scared when I see things out of the corner or my eye. Or see something and don’t perceive it right. And then all the sudden I’m convinced I’m schizophrenic. It’s a scary thing I know. But I’m curious as to what kind of hallucination you had. But either way it seems as if you though you aren’t getting enough sleep. Stress anxiety and no sleep can all make hallucinations happen. There’s also a huge difference between what you could consider a hallucination. What was the haullucination?

CrazyKing223

Date posted: 1y

The hallucination I describe how it went I was walking up the hill while looking down on my phone to find some music I want listen to I look up very quick and I see this white thing like it was flowing and glowing I look both sides of me and felt all my emotions at once and I remember running out of fear that mean I'm going to die because I saw a hallucination the sun was shining in an angle you know how the sun shines sometimes like you can see it shining and it was windy aswell the you know how the sun sometimes will shine and you can see it on the ground like transparent you can see through it that where it happen when I look up very fast I saw it and snice I was very worry about hallucinations I thought It meant I'm dying

CrazyKing223

Date posted: 1y

https://images.app.goo.gl/QqLgDg86GuBq4nuX9 photo of how the sun was the light hitting the ground

CrazyKing223

Date posted: 1y

@CrazyKing223 Might been Pareidolia most likely not schizophrenia

SMS719

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 17w

Feeling hopeless 💔

My ocd has been at an extreme all time high the past 2 weeks and I am in dire need of some relief. I’m not sleeping right anymore. for context: I live in the south and found a springtail on my sheets about 2 weeks ago. This was like 2 days before our bug guy came and sprayed (it’s a normal maintenance thing here) so it’s a common bug down here and I’ve found them all over different areas of the house before. Finding it in my bed sent me on a bit of a spiral bc I started to doubt if it even was a springtail and that i was wrong and that it was a bed bug, not trusting my brain. It was a bad, sleepless night and carried over continuing feelings. Typical ocd stuff. Well two days later, I’m a nurse and I had a patient that actually had bed bugs. This wasn’t the first day they were here and I did not see any myself but it still freaked me out. There had one 2 founds after visitors came the day before. Of course I wore PPE in the room (coveralls shoe covers and hair net) going in and took everything off before exiting the room. When I came home I stripped in my garage and bagged everything down to my shoes. Threw everything in the wash and did multiple cycles. There were no other steps I could take but I still had a terrible night. Hours of ruminating and going back and forth about tracing my tracks, thinking of new ways I could’ve taken one home with me. Just checking everything. I was already on a spiral from the springtail. Having two such back to back triggering events for me so closely related has made me deteriorate significantly. I was already doing bad with my normal OCD and starting therapy here. I obsess over the thought of having bedbugs constantly and haven’t been able to sleep. I am constantly checking my bed while in it and can’t settle down. My bed is heavy too and I keep hurting myself lifting my mattress to check. But I need to check. I’ve become obsessed. I check everything and go down Reddit rabbit holes looking for new things. And of course, I talk myself into it every time. I can’t take it anymore, it’s bleeding off into other parts of my life like friendship and marriage because I am so high anxiety right now. I need relief so bad. I’ve never felt this unstable to be honest. I feel like even someone without ocd would be really struggling with this topic, nevermind me, with ocd to a point where I just started treatment. These aren’t even my normal intrusive thoughts and compulsive acts. It’s just taken on a life in the last week and I can’t find any sign that it’s going to slow down. when I think rationally I know I did everything right to prevent but I can’t shake it. 💔

cait1299

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16w

Really struggling!

Hi guys! I had really bad harm ocd about 2 years ago and I went through therapy and eventually got really good at handling it when it would pop up. The other day, I was scrolling on TikTok and came across a girl talking about a guy who was presenting a lot of schizophrenic symptoms but no one paid attention and got him help, he was having a lot of delusions, hallucinating, thinking everyone was out to get him, thought he was Jesus and his dad was the president and ended up doing horrific things. The day after that, I was dealing with some work drama and had the thought of “what if all my coworkers are against me and trying to get me fired”. That really stressed me out, cause I don’t normally think about them like that and I went down a rabbit hole of thinking that was the beginning of me developing schizophrenia, ended up googling stuff all night, taking tests, crying and seeking reassurance. I had a thought the other day “your dad is the president”, this one didn’t stress me out as bad as I knew it was just the video I had seen and it was an intrusive thought about it, and I also didn’t believe it. Today I was with some friends and I got a prize at a place we went and it said “lonely” on it. I do have my moments of feeling lonely and this week has been specifically trying so I had a thought like “oh someone’s out to get me cause I got this”. I know this isn’t logical and it wouldn’t make sense to just randomly get it if someone was truly after me and it was just a stupid prize at a random place, anyone could’ve gotten it. Im just struggling a lot with schizophrenic OCD and thinking I’m in the pre stages of it. In my good moments, I don’t think I am at all and it was all just sparked from the video I watched but in my bad moments, these thoughts feel real!! They really stress me out and make me feel like I’m going to lose my mind causing me to lose my job/ end up in a psych hospital/ never live a normal life/ end up alone, never see me my loved ones/ hurt my loved ones. I just want to feel normal and not like I’m about to lose my mind and everything I care about. Please help!!! Anyone else going through something similar and can help me get through this!

M✨️

Date posted: 14w

I guess I'm not okay

I was sleeping after a very long stressful week at work and life but lately i was worried about myself cause I don't feel bad anymore just numb, I thought I was living and it's fine but I woke up now with jumble of different bad intrusive thoughts that it makes me feel like I'm crazy person it always happen when I'm stressed I guess but I feel like my mind is going crazy and I try to stop my mind from thoughts it's thinking about different things in one minute like idk what's going on Idk how to manage

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Have not been able to find peace

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