Harm OCD urges

@ocdishorrible.x. It’s definitely unwanted. It makes me feel very uncomfortable and scared. I guess I need to treat them like everything else with OCD.

@Anonymous I know. That’s my thing too. Like why is it feeling like this.

@Liz1342 For me it’s mainly harm to be honest. It feels like I want to go out and hurt someone. It’s awful.

@Catlove9 Me too! Mine has targeted my fiancé, the person I love most in the whole world. Mine sound like “what if you randomly stabbed him, what if you WANT to stab him, etc” it’s so hard sometimes and scary that I’d even think that to begin with when it’s my worst nightmare

@Liz1342 The urges are killing me at the moment. Like it actually feels like I’m going to just get up and do it.

@Mike0310 I believe I have! It’s still really hard to and the hardest part is when I’m having a period of calm and then get one randomly and it feels like I’m starting over again.

@Catlove9 I hear you. Keep at it! Sometimes when we are obsessive for so long it almost more normal than the new feeling of calm. I had a great session today exploring that “ urge” to act . That feeling of pent up energy is from my thought suppression. The harm ocd thoughts I try and stop as hard as I can and it just builds up more and more. I am now doing exposures through having my wife say things like “ oh you are going to harm me or someone ? How you going to do it ? Who is going first? I immediately get anxious and then realize my fear / disgust of even having to think about something as bad as that? Gives me the confidence that it is just my ocd , not my identity,

@Mike0310 This is truly helpful. I’m always wondering where that feeling of pent up energy is coming from. So I guess it’s not really real, it’s just the OCD making it feel real because we are always pushing it aside?

@Catlove9 Correct . And suppression is compulsive act or way to defend against what our core fear is .

@Mike0310 Thank you! So basically by just allowing the thoughts and not suppressing, it will eventually die down.

@Asaunders2023 I can message here!

@Catlove9 i truly relate to your post and it’s making me question my identity, like do i actually want to hurt my boyfriend? why would i feel like this if i didnt? im supposed to go on vacation tomorrow with him and i want to cancel the whole trip because im scared im going to act impulsively and hurt him. i dont know what to do

@Asaunders2023 I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have canceled so many things in my life because of my OCD. Think about it this way. Will canceling your vacation get rid of your intrusive thoughts? Most likely not. In the moment you’ll feel relief like with every compulsion but once that wears off, you’ll start having the same intrusive thoughts.

@Catlove9 i’m just literally so worried that if i go on this trip with him im going to act impulsively and hurt him, i hate this so much.

@Asaunders2023 Have you started ERP?

@Catlove9 i haven’t, i don’t know much about it

@Asaunders2023 Do you have a therapist or been diagnosed?

@Catlove9 i haven’t been diagnosed nor do i have a therapist, i feel like i need to go to hospital

@Asaunders2023 Can you get a therapist on here?

@Catlove9 i can but i’m nervous about it

@Asaunders2023 That is a common feeling to be nervous. But either way, it will help you move forward. My recommendation is contacting one on here and setting up an appointment.

@Catlove9 do they diagnose you on this app?

@Asaunders2023 The doctors will! They do an appointment virtually and they can diagnose!

@Ellasmama Hi! It still comes and goes, just like any OCD. have you been doing any ERP in therapy?

@Catlove9 Yes! I have. I’m still struggling so bad. I don’t even believe it’s ocd - it’s attached completely to my best friend, my dog, and it’s so bad I’m really contemplating rehoming her. I don’t know what to do anymore. All day I walk around with horrible images of her being basically killed and feel like I’m going to do that to her. I’m so scared and terrified. This completely ruined my life and everything I loved. 🥹

@Ellasmama I know exactly what you mean. Don’t let your fears dictate your decisions. At the end of the day, these are fears. And fears prohibit us from living the life we want. Fears make our world smaller and smaller. I had the same with my significant other and pets. I really wanted to run. But what happens if you rehome your dog? Your OCD will just attach to something else. So try as hard as you can to stand up to it and live your life the way you want despite the fears. Live your life with your dog and challenge the OCD. The OCD may not go away but it will eventually get quieter. It has taken years for me. Not everyone can heal overnight.

@Catlove9 Did you ever find relief? I’m really really struggling right now.

@scay.kay I’m sorry you’re struggling. I still go through this but it has gotten better in some ways. It’s terrifying at times still. But leaning into the fear does help.

@Catlove9 Have you done ERP? I am so exhausted from everything. I don’t know what else to do anymore.

@scay.kay Yah. I’m still in it. It can be so exhausting. OCD itself is. But you can do this!

@Catlove9 Some days are very very dark. I have harm ocd and constant I mean constant intrusive everything. Thoughts images urges all of it. About family especially about my girlfriend. I feel like im going crazy. It’s driven me into a deep depression. I’ve lost 30 pounds I never feel okay. I can’t sleep. Anything. I’m trying to find erp but it’s rare and expensive.

@scay.kay It can be very expensive. There are online courses. I bought one for $300. It’s a lot but it’s self-guided.

@scay.kay And I have moments just like that with my harm ocd directed at my boyfriend.

@Catlove9 Your comment of “it feels like I’m just going to do it” is what lead me to comment. They’re very dark and twisted. It makes me want to isolate myself forever. And it’s constant. The images and thoughts atleast. The urge things are once in a while but it’s terrible I feel disgusting.

@scay.kay That’s exactly how it feels. And it’s like any moment it could happen. Like I can almost feel my body moving.

@scay.kay Yes. That’s exactly how I feel! And I also dissociate. Where it feels like I’m not inside my body.

@scay.kay When you’re in the thick of it, don’t react to it. Try to find something to do despite how you’re feeling. How old are you? How long have you had ocd?

@Catlove9 Sorry it didn’t tag you. I’m trying not to react to it but I’m so helpless and down i dont know where to look. I know the depression definitely isn’t helping at all but. I dont know what to do

@scay.kay It does help. He’s great. Jon Herschfield also has workbooks you can get on Amazon. All of that is great until you can get ERP. I know what you’re going through. I’m having a difficult time today. It can be overwhelming and very terrifying.