Intrusive thoughts just keep morphing... i try to think of a girl, a guys privates pop up, or a guy just pops up in my head, and this feeling in my stomach happens... my hocd is saying its denial when i dont ever want to be homosexual or bisexual or phobic of these two sexualities in any way... and its making me feel like im not going to regurgitate...
And when the guy private part pops up my mind tries to make me think I’m attracted to it
Ik how u feel bro
I had that! It's going away. It will fit you too. Hang in there❤ You aren't Alone!!
Nko... No... aren't!! Watch Maria Bamsford. Funny as can be but a little crude...fyi, but she thought she was gay and she's not
@Speckles I’ve been struggling with it since 2020 idk what to do anymore
@Nko @Niko I've been struggling since I was 20 and I'm 55!!!
@Nko @Nko and I beat it!! Took long enough
@Speckles The intrusive images are getting to me
@Nko @Nko. You will...promise me!! It's tough now..I know
For you too
It's so Frustrating!!
@Givenup watch Maria Bamsford a OCD comedian. She thought she was gay and it's not. It's called OCD! Watch her, but she's a little crude at times. If you watch only on computer. It's not coming up on phone. Watch via utube and type her name an them type Nooooo OCD
@Givenup... it helps and makes lol. Only if u can take crudness
@Givenup It's all your OCD. You aren't gay. Not that there is shying wrong with that. Watch Maria Bamsford on Gay... she thought she was and she's not. She'll make you laugh! On Utube
@Nko... remember they are all FAKE!!!
@Nko... Also, you didn't do anything...I thought is just that...a thought! And of course the bully OCD!!!
@Speckles @Anonymous246 While im in the mood with myself i get intrusive thoughts of guys private parts... when i test to see if im attracted or not... (stroking myself to triggering homosexual thoughts to see if i get in the mood or not(obviously i dont want to be in the mood for these intrusive thoughts)) it makes it feel like im going to finish... i dont ever want to ever be attracted to the intrusive thoughts in any way... im trying to look at beautiful women, but i keep getting intrusive thoughts of mens privates... and so when i test to see if im not attracted to the triggering homosexual thoughts, i get triggered but it makes it feel like im going to finish to them when i dont... i know when you play with yourself you eventually finish... and that it doesnt mean attraction... but my hocd is saying im in denial for this entire event, when i was in the mood in the first place because i was thinking about a beautiful woman... i dont wver want to ever be attracted to the intrusive thoughts or men in any way...
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
This shit has to be one of the most confusing subtypes of ocd because no matter what you will never find clarity. When it started it wasn’t as bad and confusing because it was mostly anxiety. But when it started getting physical that’s when it got extremely confusing because I feel tension and fear when thinking of gay stuff but while testing I get arousal sensations so the big question is “if I am afraid of it how can my body respond as if I’m into it and if I’m into it how does my body respond with fear as if I’m not” and it’s endless. I wish I never started testing my arousal so I never started getting groinals to gay stuff in the first place. But there’s no going back now.
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