Anxious

@izzzaey Amen! And yes OCD is like a google search engine lol 😂

@malFan2670 You and me both! Literally been trying to sleep 😴 But my mind is just up. How r u?:)

@auggie23 With my hormones the way they are I’ve been up and down, but mostly up today

@auggie23 Did something happen to your account a couple days ago

@auggie23 Or did you delete a post

@malFan2670 That’s so good to hear! I hope you continue to improve and get better 😄 I had to create a new account because for some reason my old one bugged out and wouldn’t allow me to post or respond. So I had to delete the app and re download and make a new one. But I’m back now:)

@auggie23 Oh wow, at least it’s working now, I missed chatting with you. Did you ever get discord working for you

@malFan2670 That’s so sweet 🥹 I like chatting with you too! Your cool:) just wish I knew your name! Not yet, I do plan on getting it though. I’m curious as to how the discord on OCD is:)

@auggie23 They talk about all the different types of OCD(there is even a space for me called periods and OCD) There are even sections where you can just rant about whatever you’re feeling

@auggie23 It’s just a safety concern for me with giving out my real name so most of the time I just use my online persona of Mal (name after dove Cameron’s character in Disney descendants) sorry I even use it for my username in video games and other online things

@malFan2670 Hey you know what I’m cool with that Mal is ok with me:)

@auggie23 Thanks for being understanding

@malFan2670 Foxy is the fox 🦊

@auggie23 Yes and one of the most popular characters in the franchise

@malFan2670 She’s a cool character I believe in the game she’s the fastest?

@auggie23 Yes but can I just clarify foxy is a boy in case you didn’t know Mangle and Funtime foxy are considered both genders (the creator likes to troll the fan base with that) And Roxanne wolf (closest animatronic to a a foxy in Fnaf security breach) is a girl

@auggie23 It’s ok if you didn’t know

@auggie23 The only female og animatronic is Chica

@malFan2670 I honestly had no idea I just assumed his gender lol 😂 But thank you for educating me on the facts 😉 what is it about FNAF that you love so much?

@auggie23 Honestly how different the games are from each other and the fact that how a simple game grew into this massive franchise and spawned a great community

@auggie23 Culminating in an eventual movie after 9 years, in august of next year it will have been 10 years since the first game

@malFan2670 It really is fascinating I feel the same way about anime shows.

@malFan2670 It’s pretty fast and impressive too

@auggie23 Yep, this was the year of fnaf First a DLC for the most recent game Then the movie that just came out And now a second VR game Can’t wait to see what the community has planned for the first game 10 year anniversary

@malFan2670 That sounds exciting, what is DLC?

@auggie23 Downloadable content

@auggie23 Had a big brain fart and had to look it up to double check

@malFan2670 Lmao 🤣 I do the same thing sometimes lol 😂

@auggie23 Ok I get it now like with Pokémon there are expansion packs I think that’s what dlc is too

@auggie23 Pretty much it’s just extra content for the game sometimes it’s basic like extra stuff or sometimes it can be like extra chapters or new gameplay

@malFan2670 That’s a perfect explanation. I like DLCs haha, what r ur plans after volunteering

@auggie23 My brain has turned to mush (think I’m tired) do you mean after today or in general

@malFan2670 😂 Yes after today:)

@auggie23 Probably go home and get ready to eat dinner and await any trick or treaters My life is not that interesting

@malFan2670 You gonna wear your mask?

@auggie23 If I can find it maybe

@auggie23 It’s somewhere in my room or our spare room I’m just not sure where

@auggie23 Unfortunately I couldn’t find the mask, but we did get plenty of trick or treaters so that was a bonus

@malFan2670 Yay that’s so awesome!! All the candy 🍭 got eaten up aye:)

@auggie23 Eh mostly, may have went bit overboard with buying candy (not a big sweet eater myself)

@auggie23 It’s hard to believe I’m 22 in a matter of weeks

@malFan2670 Omg I forget how young you are

@malFan2670 Your still have so much life to live happy early birthday 🥳

@auggie23 Thanks I will probably message on the day too, whilst (if I don’t have anything going on that day) blasting T-Swift 22 all day

@auggie23 It’s weird feeling because me and two of my friends were born mere days apart from one another in the same year

@malFan2670 I love Taylor swift!! And Alessia cara I think that’s how you spell it. Great artists That’s pretty cool actually uou guys are close in that aspect :)

@malFan2670 You trynna go out and get lit 🔥

@auggie23 If I knew more people or were more of an established confidant person maybe Still deciding what I want to do and what I would want for gifts (having a birthday so close to Christmas makes gifts choices hard)

@auggie23 It’s because my grandparents (my moms parents) tend to come down for thanksgiving so it’s like how do I make it feel different as I get birthday cake and go out to eat for both days

@malFan2670 Should clarify it’s my mom’s father and his wife (never meet my biological grandmother on my my mothers side as she passed before I was born)

@malFan2670 I could understand that.

@malFan2670 Your an only child too so you get extra gifts and attention right:)

@malFan2670 I’m sorry to hear that 🙁

@auggie23 Yeah I guess

@auggie23 Ever reconnected with someone from your childhood

@malFan2670 Yes

@auggie23 It’s a great feeling isn’t it, that happened to me when made a new Facebook account(my old account was on a older slower iPad,so felt the need to update my account to my phone)

@malFan2670 How long had it been since last seeing them

@auggie23 Had to have been over ten maybe more as I was less than 10 (I think as it has been so long)when I last saw them before they moved America, chatting with them now over Facebook messenger has been great

@auggie23 Would maybe love to meet up again with them in the future

@malFan2670 You should!

@auggie23 Got any plans for thanksgiving

@malFan2670 Just spend time with the family wbu

@auggie23 Same

@auggie23 Oh boy, I’m a celebrity get me out of here(tv show)and thanksgiving time for a really disrupted sleep schedule but in a good way 😊

@malFan2670 Lol 😂 how r u Mal

@auggie23 Been up and down (mentally) but today so far seems like a good day

@auggie23 Hormones suck

@malFan2670 Do the holidays flare up your OCD?

@auggie23 It’s the stress of others who things that bring it up like hormones or knowing you have family members coming down and the big question of why you are still not working will get asked and you don’t have an answer

@auggie23 Sorry of other things not others who things,man I wish there was a feature where you can edit posts

@malFan2670 Oh yeah I know how that is, you get the anxiety and stress of those questions. They wouldn’t understand OCD or how it works either and they will just brush it off like your lazy or have excuses.

@auggie23 Welcome to my life but add on to that if I bring up any sort of mental health issue I’m seen a crazy

@auggie23 And it’s just so annoying and stressful when everyone else I know can find a job but me

@malFan2670 But how come you can’t find a job? Do you have a job history?

@malFan2670 I’ve been working 60hrs a week I’m tired honestly lol 😂

@auggie23 It’s hard, there barely any jobs in the history field round here and if I do find something I don’t here anything back or don’t get past the interview

@auggie23 I feel exhausted and I haven’t really done anything, I’m going to try tonight to see if I can sleep 7 hours straight in an attempt to gain a regular sleep schedule which I haven’t had in years.

@auggie23 Just volunteering mostly, I did start a job but felt really uncomfortable being there so I left

@auggie23 Don’t know if my irregular sleep schedule is caused by that hormonal birth control pill or some sort undiagnosed anxiety or ADHD but my mind is never just clear when I lay down to go to sleep

@malFan2670 I’m sorry your experienceing such a stressful moment in life. I know life is very difficult especially when you don’t have the support you desperately need. Maybe you should try looking into a different line of work? Start small you don’t have to jump into something wild in the beginning like being a doctor or anything. Do you take melatonin to try and help you sleep? Or some type of sleep aid?

@auggie23 Was taking melatonin now I’m taking vitamins that also act as a sleep aid also use the sleep noises on headspace which also helps. The only issue I have is that I have a racing mind when I go to sleep (sometimes the thoughts are good sometimes they are bad)

@malFan2670 What does your normal day consist of? Have you tried exercising? I feel that will help and get you tired and you can sleep better like swimming honestly tired me out quickly. Maybe your mind races because it isn’t occupied and it needs something to do

@auggie23 That’s the main reason why I’m trying to find work as I’m not doing something every day Have a minor exercise routine on those days I’m at home,which I do want to improve

@auggie23 If I was a more confident driver I would use my town’s community pool I have been really wanting to use it since they moved it to a new building (which I hope is cleaner than the old one 🤮)

@malFan2670 As soon as you find work your mental health will improve dramatically because it’s occupied and focused on important tasks!! Then it will be easier to recover from OCD:) Do you live In a gated community?

@auggie23 No not really, I know there was one built near where I live but I don’t live in one personally

@auggie23 Yeah hopefully, had another job interview today 🤞I get it felt like I did better even though my nerves always appear to be an issue

@malFan2670 Just have faith and don’t give up!! There will be brighter days 😊

@auggie23 Thanks 😊 Was wondering can anxiety or OCD manifest physical as a constant stomach pain that can affect the way your brain and mind think

@malFan2670 Forsure

@malFan2670 Anxiety and OCD caused my nerves and muscles to twitch badly for like a year once becuase of how much stress I had

@malFan2670 It can feel gut wrenching in terms of stomach pain but since your a female I’m sure there could be many other variables as well

@auggie23 Thanks for that, I have had an unexplained stomach ache for years now and I could never really understand why

@auggie23 Yeah you’re probably right as recently I thought it had something to do with my birth control pill when I was reading side effects on it, which I was amazed that more doctors don’t discuss

@auggie23 I’ve experience that a lot, I always thought that they were nervous twitches, which in my case only manifest when I’m scared or even excitement

@auggie23 Cause when I would feel a twinge in my stomach it would feel send a signal to my brain to create nightmare what if scenarios of seemingly minor sometimes embarrassing events in my mind that didn’t seem want to leave my mind (it was worse during my periods and caused me to have very little sleep)

@auggie23 With excitement concerns, my nervous twitches should be fun with my grandparents down here for thanksgiving

@auggie23 Got any tips for nervous twitching

@malFan2670 I actually don’t have any tips :/ I honestly just allowed the twitches to pass on their own! It’s legit stress and anxiety symptoms. The body manifests interesting things to deal with stress and overstimulation of the nerves. My only advice I can give when grandparents come is to not take what they say personally and just let things go no matter how irritating or provoking their statements could be. It’s just for the day and their gone:)

@auggie23 Thanks I will keep that in mind,oh and my grandparents are here now and apologies for the confusion I meant that these twitches occur most of the time with something positive (rarely and this would only be with parents can this occur with nerves 😬 and negativity)

@auggie23 It’s very weird I only do those unintentional twitches when I’m excitable or very happy very rarely but still happens when I’m nervous or stress (usually when a particular parent, will not say whom is yelling to full on screaming like a small child at me or the other parents) My grandparents are actually very lovely and very funny particularly my grandfather

@auggie23 Happy thanksgiving

@auggie23 It so difficult to stick to regular sleep patterns when relations come down but it is only one more day (today) then tomorrow I stick to my new schedule and hopefully see light at the end of tunnel

@auggie23 If you are around this is one of those bad days

@auggie23 I made a post about it

@malFan2670 Hey Mal sorry I haven’t been responding I worked super late last night and im now barely getting up it’s 3:20Pm im sorry you aren’t having a good day; how much sleep have you gotten?

@auggie23 It’s,With it being the holiday’s and family coming down and watching that show not a lot

@auggie23 It felt like I was blacking out or nothing felt like it was real (it was like moments of being on the pill that my mind has warped into something they were not despite others telling me the truth my mind would not believe it)

@auggie23 I was so scared

@auggie23 Just a point of reference 3.20pm there is about 11.20pm over here if this helps when you message me back

@auggie23 Today was a little better but im hoping once I get into a sleep schedule it will be better

@auggie23 Worked out why I’ve been feeling so low and drained(feeling like im constantly dreaming or having visions of alternate realities) It’s almost my time of the month again (sucks it’s so close to my birthday but can’t control everything) But im just like are all my time of the months going to feel like this until my hormones settle if so this going to suck (might see if I can get NHS therapy cause this sucks and I wanna think and feel normal)

@auggie23 Hormones and tiredness what sucky combo

@auggie23 Ok cool, if you need me to send the invite link again just let me know

@auggie23 I know right and I’m glad there are places where I can express my issues with mental health,as I know I can’t do it at home

@malFan2670 Yeah go ahead and send it over now. I’ll save it :)

@malFan2670 And it’s like free therapy in a sense. Honestly wish all Mental Health resources were free or government paid you know? Because therapists need to get paid and live their lives as well. We can send billions of dollars to other countries but can’t have that money be used towards peoples mental health it’s wild.

@auggie23 Sorry my discord app was acting funny so I just had to turn my phone on and off Here is the link https://discord.gg/vYk5d82EE8

@auggie23 That’s crazy

@auggie23 Even though UK health services are free you are still can wait up to years for some treatments (need to look in to mental health treatment)

@malFan2670 Oh yeah I heard about it being free in UK and Canada. That never made sense to me having to wait years to get treated. They can treat many people they choose not too.

@auggie23 Because of the burden on the NHS there are some who think that health care won’t be free here much

@malFan2670 How is it funded?

@auggie23 Through like government and taxes as it is a national thing

@malFan2670 Wish it were like that here.. but once you get money will you use NOCD Therapist?

@auggie23 If I ever find a job I definitely will (another trigger that can sometimes aggravate my anxiety)

@auggie23 If they were more understanding I would ask if they could do that

@auggie23 My parents have no real understanding of mental health

@malFan2670 What was your mom and dads response on your mental state? Regarding OCD and what you experience in your mind.

@auggie23 Not always believed, called ridiculous immature Very rarely am I believed when it comes to my mental health issues Heck I’m even called a baby or a child when I cry

@auggie23 This doesn’t mean I don’t love or respect my parents

@malFan2670 Wow your parents are very rough aren’t they:/ I’m so sorry about that. What is your nationality? Just curious.

@auggie23 Think it’s largely because they are older generational (they were children in the 60s and 70s)

@auggie23 Well technically I’m English but I’m also half American (my mom is British and my dads American)

@malFan2670 Yeah I get it, Mental Health wasn’t really acknowledged or talked about in their time. But hey they are fortunate enough to not have OCD because im sure if they did it would be a different story lol.

@malFan2670 And you know when you talk about it out loud with someone else it seems so simple to just brush it off but it’s not. It’s so strange. And it’s like your losing your sanity. Idk it just sucks but thank God there is treatment for it 😭

@auggie23 Yeah I guess, just wish sometimes they didn’t seem so mean about it

@auggie23 You are not wrong, that how I feel bringing my feelings up with my parents

@auggie23 Makes me feel like I’m crazy for thinking and feeling the way I do sometimes

@malFan2670 That’s the thing though no one with OCD asked for it. We didn’t ask for random ass evil thoughts to come into our minds and torment us. We didn’t ask for anxiety we didn’t ask for any type of mental struggle. We went years without worrying about it then all of a sudden it’s a problem. I don’t get it sometimes. And when you ask for help people wanna judge you and condemn you for something that isn’t your fault.

@auggie23 Thank you I needed to hear that

@auggie23 You don’t know how many times I’ve been told by my parents to grow up any time I’ve felt any kind of stress (which usually resulted in crying whilst I was on the pill)

@malFan2670 Of course, it’s the honest truth.

@malFan2670 It’s like you aren’t allowed to be human. It’s very cold.

@auggie23 Haven’t had that much crying since stopping my birth control (don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing)

@malFan2670 Depends on the Situation, but overall it’s good:)

@auggie23 In my house it sometimes feels like that. I’ve got sort of a resting bitch face (excuse my language) where I look miserable all time (even when I’m not sad or miserable)

@auggie23 Yeah, it made wonder if crying was a birth control symptom lol

@auggie23 Oh extremely ,I mean I was bullied in what the UK calls secondary school 11-16, plus I am extremely shy (wouldn’t consider myself that much of a girly girl even though I would get a lot of clothes)

@auggie23 My parents being quite tough did little to change my shy tendencies

@auggie23 I’m still a very shy adult (initially), who stress can sometimes get ignored unless it’s genuine physical illness

@malFan2670 Awe I’m so sorry about that, what did kids bully you about? Honestly toughness on a person who is shy does almost no production of change. If anything it makes u more shy. Do you have siblings?

@auggie23 There was one girl who was calling really rude names(can’t remember exactly what the word was) and was trying to deny it and other who just plainly didn’t want to admit she didn’t like me but would always act rude and coy around me.

@auggie23 Your right with that

@auggie23 I personally don’t have siblings but my parents did

@auggie23 Sorry do

@malFan2670 Awe man your an only child :(

@auggie23 Yep

@malFan2670 How did you respond to her doing those things?

@auggie23 I confronted the one who was acting she didn’t like to see why she didn’t like me (regret that) With the other one I went through teachers, parents and then after that went no where I had eventually breakdown one day when she wouldn’t leave me alone at school and then not long afterwards it had stopped

@malFan2670 You should’ve beat her ass honestly and just take the lickings from the parents and school 😂

@auggie23 It was those incidents in secondary school that caused me to be a bit more of a reclusive at my next schools (sixth form and uni) to avoid that happening again

@auggie23 Trying to judge people before I become friends with them

@malFan2670 Howdy partner 🤠

@auggie23 Hi

@malFan2670 How r u today miss

@auggie23 Pretty good,everyday slowly getting better at dealing with my hormonal mind and not letting it control me, how are things with you

@auggie23 Meditation is helping a lot (combined with supplements and attempts at regular sleep and exercise patterns) whilst I’m waiting for my hormones to settle

@malFan2670 That’s so good to hear! I’m happy and same just taking it one day at a time doing my own type of exposures and responding differently. It’s helped ALOT with my anxiety. I went from 65% to id say 20% anxiety and that’s a win for me. The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step:)

@malFan2670 Do you take magnesium? That’s been helping me a lot too. And Omega 3s

@auggie23 A lower amount of magnesium as originally in the very beginning I accidentally took way too much (650 mg) caused me to get really kinda (even though that turned out to be food poisoning which I had no clue where it came from) ill, now I always check how much vitamins I take

@auggie23 I don’t really take any omega 3 supplements as I eat a lot fish anyway

@malFan2670 That’s what I’m talking about 😎

@auggie23 I’m proud of you Mal:)

@auggie23 Thanks ❤️

@auggie23 Learned just now it is a struggle to go for a walk outside in cold weather (you can tell I’m British moaning about the weather) but I did it Need to find longer podcasts on headspace for walking through

@malFan2670 *though

@malFan2670 What’s the weather over there now? Is it snowing?

@auggie23 Not like snowing (cause we rarely get here 🙄) it’s just starting to feel really cold on a night and be dark in the early morning, as well as getting dark on a night much earlier(like at around 6:30 it can be almost pitch black sometimes)

@auggie23 To summarise in the Uk 🇬🇧 it is normally cold damp and dark round this time

@malFan2670 Make sure you have warm clothes on missy :)

@auggie23 Oh don’t worry, definitely in hoodie season here(rarely ever gets red hot in here like in America)

@auggie23 Good morning from the UK

@malFan2670 Good Morning From the USA 🇺🇸 😎

@auggie23 I just went to watch the Five nights at Freddy’s movie and I loved it

@malFan2670 What happened at the end

@auggie23 Kinda hard to explain

@malFan2670 Do your best:) I wanna know lol

@auggie23 How well do you understand the first three games

@malFan2670 Based on what you told me from previous posts I’d say fair. Lol

@auggie23 Theoretically, if the movies mostly follow the plot of those three games (there are some significant differences ) we won’t see a sequel to this movie until a third movie as FNAF 2 is technically a prequel