About Halloween again

I didn't wanted to say it's useless or it's never helpful, but I feel like it's really black and white and people use it to categories others in "personality groups" and it's wrong how they do it. Yesterday I gave a chance to a video cause I was like "let's learn about myself" and I watched it with curiousity, And at the end of the video i was triggered... Im sure someone without ocd just ignores it and all this is just my ocd but im curious what other people thinks. First thing that triggered me is that making jokes is a coping mechanism, which is somewhat true, it can be for some, but in that video it was told like if you like to make jokes and you like to make people laugh, you only do because you need attention and your mother never gave you attention when you were a kid so now you want attention so you make jokes...As an ocder this got me triggered cause I like to make jokes,but if it would be to get attention it would be forced... and i dont feel like mine is forced,I do it cause I can laugh at my own jokes and making others laugh is a really good feeling. Sometimes Im a troll on the internet, and i like when people read my comments on youtube but thats a normal thing, everyone likes when they get any attention, its normal human behaviour, but psychology often tells you that you have a deep psychological problem and thats why you do these things. And it really feels like an attack, expecially if you have ocd. I remember when I was in therapy, alot of things i do was attacked with this "you do this cause you want attention cause you didnt get it from your parents" and it made me spin and stop doing those things. Its really toxic if you think about it. The other thing was about ocd... I dont know if it's psychology or just the beliefs of that person who made the video, but it's 2025 and people still dont know what is ocd... I read before about "obsessive personality disorder" , the whole personality disorder thing is just made up to label people into groups in my opinion,when people can be in more than 1 group... but what triggered me was that he said "the differece between ocd and obsessive personality dissorder is that people with opd are perfectionists, obsession got their whole life and it controls everything." Now this makes me question what that person thinks about ocd... So ocd does not gets into your life? It does not takes your life away? Here was another he said. "People with ocd do the compulsion because of fear, while people with opd do that because of anger/frustration". And I would ask, what type of feeling is anger? Anger is a second feeling and many times behind it theres another feeling and often it is fear... And people with ocd can become angry and frustrated with their compulsions, some of it does not act on compulsions because of fear but because of frustration. Everyone with ocd is a perfectionist, i know this might trigger you, but its true, everyone with ocd is hard with themself, and can drive others crazy with their rules. These people still thinks that ocd is cleaning and wanting things to be organized... Its sad that the only people who knows what ocd is are the ones who has it or got through it... this is why I dont go to therapy, instead i watch videos on youtube from people who had/has ocd and I have to say it was really helpful and I noticed alot of progression in my mental health...

I love horror movies and would watch them random sometimes even Terrifier cause art is my new favorite character. I just felt like I was a bad person for this⁉️ I don’t support his actions but I like his goofy faces he makes. I can’t enjoy anything no more Literally me rn in life

WARNING THIS IS A +18 POST I'm 24 years old and I never had a girlfriend, and in the past I felt bad about it but now i'm glad that I didn't had sex yet. I feel like I won't find a girl who is virgin too at this point, maybe it's because this is what people around me say, but even if I don't I have to work on accepting that people can change and the past doesn't matter. I wasn't a christian when i was in highschool so the reason that I didnt had sex was because I was shy and I didnt had confidence. Now because of ocd alot of times i feel mentally tired, i barelly can care for myself and those times i question how could i care for my girlfriend,I would feel alot of shame that I cant be a man for her, so maybe its good that im still single. My view about wainting until marriage changed however i still struggle sometimes with questions, I don't have close christian friends, people I go out with arent believers and it doesnt seem like not waiting until marriage had a bad effect on them. I dont believe that theres a thing that you cant connect with someone sexually,cause they always say what if you cant connect with them and you find it after marriage, I dont believe in that,I think you can work on it with anyone,however there are alot of stories of christian couples who cant connect sexually and they get divorced... so sometimes this question bugs me. Another reason is,I feel like planning your wedding and the whole party its just too much for me now, I dont say I wont have it, its just im 24 now and i feel like im too young for that,I feel weird about it, maybe when I will be 28 it will feel okay, but then if I get a gf, waiting for 3-4 years would be really hard.As I know myself I wont be able to tolerate the sexual tension more than a year, so I struggle with these things, you might say im childish, I accept that, maybe in time these will change. So if you are still here thank you, I made it really long cause I think its still important for you to know these details cause now i talk about what triggered me today. I watched a podcast about sex and how to prepare yourself for it(cause I dont like that people say as a single christian you should stay away/run away from that topic) and at one point they talked about "debuking the myths of sex" and the first one was that if you will wait until marriage, you will have a good sex life and good marriage. And i was like but thats the point, but dont misunderstand me, im not viewing this like there will be no struggles and growing is not needed, yes offcourse but stay with me cause then they said "sex at the first time should be akward(im okay with this,but then...) it should make you feel shame and discusted/discomfort, and this triggered me. I know for girls its usually painful but I heard alot of people said first time was really good, even christians on the internet who says they waited for it says it was really good. But I find the other group too who says its much harder, its akward and im like then whats the point of the honeymoon? I dont day honeymoon should be perfect but somewhat good,no? If its just a struggle that kind off takes away the beauty. You still have to find what is best for both of you but if you feel shame,discust,and akward thats a bad experience. And what should make your relationship stronger, it actually gives you more problems.When I was watching this, I got hit by those feelings cause in the past I felt shame and discust when i thought about sex and i didnt liked that cause sex is holy and its a good thing,but you say after wating so much,fighting with lust and sexual tension, finally waiting until marriage I will feel shame and discust about having sex? What if then it will be hard to do it again and it damages the marriage? Alot of these christians who make these videos had sexual life in the past so they wont feel shame and discust but we who are still virgins dont know anything about it and this is why sometimes i question is it worth to wait until marriage...